I have no interest in sex...?

Question

I havn't had kids, I'm not stressed or any of the usual reasons that come up. I've just never really had a sex drive. Its wrecked so many relationships... an ideas? I'm too embarreassed to talk to anyone (including friends about it) sensible answers please!

Answer 1

you are not alone
X

Answer 2

Hello,

(ANS) We live in a sex obsessed society so anyone who is brave enough to admit they have little or no interest in sex is probably seen as either odd or sad. My view is that each person has their own unique sex drive (libido) with some people they have an intense natural sexual energy driven by high levels of testosterone. Others have lower levels of testosterone hence lower sexual interest or sexual energy.

There could be many genuine reasons why you have little or no interest in sex, there may be a physical medical reason why. The reasons could be more emotional of psychological.

**Is the problem really about sex within a relationship? or is this more about your own sexuality which is a different matter all together? Is the problem here not sex at all but really about the fear of intimacy? Is the problem about how you relate to woman or men in general, about how you do or don't form relationships.

**I think you might find counselling or therapy would help you. The good thing about counselling is its totally confidential & private. As a fully trained counsellor I know just how hard some people find it just to come to a first session. Being brave enough or willing enough to look inside yourself isn't easy but the rewards are great.

**My belief is that the answers we seek are inside ourselves even if we do not know it yet?

Best Regards Ivan

Answer 3

If you already saw a doctor and there is no physical reason for it, you may try to please yourself and see what turns you on.Choose a nice and quiet time when you are home all alone, relaxed and ready to explore your own body.Touch any areas you like and think of something erotic.Take your time and be persistent.If the first time did not bring any results try another time.If you dont have vivid imagination some erotic films,or porno may stimulate your imagination.Remember, there is nothing right or wrong with being stimulated, you are in control of your body and your feelings. Get rid of the guilt,relax and enjoy!
After you master this part, maybe you find someone who can stimulate your mind and body as well.It may take years or even a lifetime but is worth it
Good luck!

Answer 4

It could just be that you are not a sexual person - diffcult when you are in a relationship I bet but if that is you then that is you. However never rule out underlying medical reasons - I have never had a sex drive - in fact I have always been quite scared of it - I have been in love but still I never felt that sex was somethingI enjoyed.... Recently found out I have an underactive thyroid and since meds I feel more sexual. I would suggest you do query it with your GP - I know it is embarassing but I reckon it is something that affects you quite alot. There could be so many reasons why .... look into it. Best of luck

Answer 5

There are MANY possible answers. You could have a hormonal imbalance (hypothyroid, low estrogen, etc.). You could have a more serious illness as well--though your age makes that unlikely.

Psychologically there are too many possibilities to list. It could be anything from a past trauma, to the subconscious belief that sex is bad, to a whole host of other issues.

You should allow the health profession to help you,since this is clearly causing you distress. Have a doctor do a complete physical to rule out any medical problems. Then, seek a counselor. I know you said you're too embarrassed, but you need to do this in order to solve the problem.

I'll tell you this: you are not alone. I myself had sexual/intimacy problems that were coming from an undiagnosed depressive condition. I, too, was too embarrassed until my marriage was at stake. Take the steps you need to--it's hard, but rewarding.

Good luck.

Answer 6

I will give you a genuine answer with respect and with tact. Most problems with libido are mental in nature rather than physical. With that said, I do have suggestions and I say them as a man who respects the sexuality of another and I am in a very happy long term relationship.

My first suggestion is to begin masturbating. Masturbation, or automanipulation, is the first step in finding out what phsyically arouses you. The best way and place to do this is in a bedroom with complete privacy with or without music. Don't focus on an orgasm right away. Just focus on the sensations as you discover what pleases you physically. In time, you can try reaching orgasm and then you can show a lover that you one day trust exactly what and how to please you.

Keep in mind, however, that abstinence is a choice if that is your choice and should be respected. But there is a difference between abstinence and a low sex drive. My girlfriend and I are very different in our sex drive, and yet, not only do I have the mindset that I will do what I can to make her happy, but she also has the mindset that she wants to make me happy as well. And we meet those needs. But we communicate those needs. We are not mindreaders. Best of luck.

Answer 7

Is it a problem, though? Some of the answerers seem to think you have to be sexualised like most almost everyone else. But do you? Maybe they are really right and it's a clinical and/or psychological Problem that will cost you money to Put Right and Be Like Everyone Else.
Maybe it's your true sexuality being expressed thus, and not suppressed at all. Maybe some people are actually non-sexual, but is it a problem for You? That's the thing.

Answer 8

You are not alone! There is a whole on-line community that can say the same thing you just did. I was over joyed when I found this group because I am just like you. It is called Aven. Here is the group's site: http://www.asexuality.org/home/

You may be Asexual like the people in this group, after reading you will get a better idea if this sounds like your situation or not.

Diane

Answer 9

if this is recking some of your realtionships maybe you should consider taking medicine, if you really want to make you partner happy and thats what you have to do then thats what you have to do, it's no big deal i'm sure other people this way too. i can see why talking to your freind ans family might embarras you because this is sex, not the flu or a cold or something. but don't feel embarrased to talk to your doctor because thats the person that can help. good lick and remember sex isn't everything! even though guys make it that way sometimes!

Answer 10

some people just don't have as high a sex drive at others,
if some people have broken up with you because you don't have sex as much as they want, it's there loss really.

one thing to think about do you enjoy the act itself or do you feel numb during?
It could be psycological, possibly from a previous bad experience. Or it could just be natural.

If your worried it might be soemthing physical then really the Docs the only way to go hun

Answer 11

io understand completly. i have a little girl and ever since i had her i have no sex drive at all. i used to love giving it to my man but ever since the baby i see no big reason for sex. i dont even know why sex is a big part of a relationship. i mean WOW 10 minutes of pleasure i dont see how ppl can have it more than 1,2,3,4 times a day. i dont see the point in it. but i have to have it b/c my man is horney all the time and even though i dont want to do it i just do it to pleasure him even though i dont get into it. what i can recomend you to do is drink goat weed pills that boostes up sex drive that ingridient are used in energy pills also. go to a GNC supplement store (a vitamin shop) and they'll give you something for you.

Also another reason might be that you had too much and its getting old. b/c me and my man did it at least once a day about everyday and i think i just got tired of it.