Am i a horrible person for thinking this?

Question

i'm 14 turning 15 this year and my dad still doesn't let me go on sleepover,go to friends birthday parties,hand at the mall with friends,i've never even been allow to go trick or treating. He evens still gives me a bedtime at 9:30.Another thing is that my allowance is $10.00 a month. I can't eve afford to buy a shirt.I'm not even allowed to have a boyfriends til i'm 18 in college(and he's still thinking about hanging that to after college.)But still it gets so lonely now cuz all my friends stop inviting me to there parties and stop talking to them because i never get to hang with them afterschool. I tried to explained to HIM HOW IT FEELS BUT HE JUST SAID"FORGET IT" So he went on a buisness trip for the whole summer so i thought that I could get like some type of freedom well its like June 22 and he just call and said that he's be coming back on the 29. My whole family keeps talking about how they miss him. Am i a horrible person for wanting him to stay longer?

theres so much great answers i don't like i can pick one as best answer its so hard well thanks for the help

Answer 1

You are not a horrible person for yearning for some freedom that should naturally be coming to someone of your age. (You haven't done anything in the past to show you're untrustworthy? You sound like a very respectful kid just because you've asked this.) Is there another adult in the family (say your mom) who might be willing to consider allowing you some freedoms? A person kept in isolation will eventually become mentally unhealthy or revolt. You dad needs to hold on a little less strenuously or he'll risk losing you.

Answer 2

Not at all darl, I really feel sorry for you, cos your dad is depriving you of "normal" teenage activities which can (and probably does and/or will) have negative effects on you socially and psychologically.
You have to think of the reasons why your dad is being so over protective...are there things you've done in the past to lose his trust, or has something tragic happened to him (perhaps a child has died?) and he is simply trying to protect you the only way he knows how?
While either, both or neither of the aforementioned scenarios may be true, I definately don't agree with the extent he is controlling and dictating your life!
I honestly don't know what you could do about this subject, as your dad seems totally rigid and closed-minded on the topic, to the point of being extremely pig-headed!
Maybe you should write to Dr. Phil??

Anyway, best of luck hunnie... Just remember, you can't let other people live your life for you. Just try not to make any serious mistakes if and when you do get some freedom, you don't wanna prove him right! ; )

Answer 3

I don't think you are a horrible person for wanting him to stay longer. Kids should have freedom to a certain extent, and you are 15 so I think you should be allowed to stay over at friends' houses and go to the mall; it's what kids do. Has anything ever happened that would make your father afraid to let you go places? If you have ever been a trouble-maker or have been in some sort of compromising situation, then maybe I could understand him being so protective. If have been a responsible daughter though, I think you should have more freedom than you do. I would recommend possibly going away to college, to experience a little more independence. Just be careful not to get to out of control if you do.

Answer 4

not really you need a bit of freedom! but just remember he thinks the world of you and wants the best for you thats why he wants to protect you in the only way he knows how...
I was on a bedtime until around 16 -17 and also had the $10 allowance. didnt go to any parties, while at high school. (but that was also cause I had no transport into town (lived on a farm) and im a guy! just say for your birthday you would like to go to bed 30 minutes later and have your allowance increased. it will be a good start.
for me live started when I went to uni, and has not stopped since :) so something you can look forward to :) maybe just invite your friends over more... then once your dad knows your friends he will entrust you to go out with them a bit more!
good luck!

Answer 5

In one way you are and other way you are not because the region why you are horrible is that. He is thinking about you having good life that you don't get any kind of troubles and any other kind of problem and getting spoil much too.So you should listen him. That's the age that kids usually get spoil. So he is right one way but if he is too much then it's not right he is over controlling you. Well you are horrible but you are thinking your point you if i were you would do the same thing. i know you want some freedom too you don't to be lock up in the house all the time. But maybe he is afraid of this bad people out there so just being over protected that's all. Well you both try to understand each other feeling and be like friend more.And if you follow the rules maybe he'll allow to do thing that you want to do. You should him nice and say that you'll follow the rules do whatever do but tell that you should allow me do what want to do. If you go somewhere you'll come on time whatever he tells you to come. Don't worry he be just fine one day he can't tie you forever one day he'll let you go when you'll get little bit older. My parents were same too me when i was this age. They never allow me to go anywhere but when i got older like 20 years. Then they never stopped me because they knew that i could now take care of myself.

Answer 6

Well you are young and unable to put it in perspective. Your dad is trying to protect what is special to him and he's doing everything to make sure that that special person in his life never has any harm. His methods may be a little crazy at times but he is the boss of your house. What you need to do is follow what your dad is saying and prove that you can be responsible and do the right thing. You are really young still so don't expect anything over night.Once you turn 18 move and you'll be able to do what you want. Until then hang with friends at school and maybe get involved in after schools sports/activities.OH and your feeling are only natural just remember he loves you and that's why he's doing it. Don't think that he hates you and want you miserable.

Answer 7

Shygirl1,what is done is done.We can't take back yesterday. Everyone makes mistakes because it's the teacher of life. But do not grief for what had happened.You are still young and inexperienced.The fault is not only yours I presumed. There's only one thing - correct your mistake everytime you may do it,but correct it only ONCE!. Do not repeat doing the same mistakes.Now you are alive and growing and there are many things to do.Go out and play.You have to refill your youth before it gets too late.Time doesn't wait for anyone. You are not a horrible person,but a beautiful flower to look at but next time listen to a wise person,not adults. May you be happy and bliss.

Answer 8

No you're not a horrible person. I don't think your dad is right in not giving you any freedoms. When you turn 18 you can do whatever you want and you will probably rebel and he will regret not giving you a little freedom every now and then. I would sit down and talk with him (NOT yell at him or get in a fight) and ask him to slowly give you more freedom. You should ask him if you could have your friends sleepover at YOUR house so he can get to know them. And ask your friends parents to talk with your dad when they come to pick them up.

Answer 9

No your not a horrible person for wanting him to stay longer - I would explain to your dad that you need a little more freedom and say " you know what this is going to do to me when I'm in college or when i turn 18 I'm going to go off the deep end because you never gave me any freedom as a teen"

Answer 10

You needed your space. Don't feel guilty for thinking that you wanted him away longer. You can gain a little more freedom at school by joining some clubs. That way you can at least hang out with friends during those times. Work hard so you can go away to school and work extra hard so you can get some scholarships just in case you Dad changes his mind about you going away to college. That way you will have some independence.