How do you deal with a creepy neighbor (next door) when you can't move?

Question

This guy is relatively harmless, but the neighbors say he is schizophrenic. He doesn't work, and frequently is up late at night on his porch naked wearing only a black "dungeons and dragons" robe. He also makes weird comments to my wife, I'm pretty sure it's obvious he's somewhat obsessed with both of us, especially her. Now, add to that we just had a baby girl, and I'm worried that something could happen. Again, he is relatively harmless, and he means well (frequently cuts our lawn and "helps" with things), but he's not playing with a "full deck of cards". Again, moving is out of the question right now, for at least a few years.

To answer the comment on staying away from him and him helping me, he does things despite us telling him not to - trust me, we don't encourage him. Also, when he's directly next door to your house, it's pretty much impossible to stay completely out of his way.

Answer 1

if he is a schizo then you do need to pay some extra attention to him or his actions. engage in small talk but dont encourage him to come around. my husbands cousin is schizo and he is only harmful to himself. but i would still watch it just to be sure. dont think i am mean but we have had a lot of trouble with our schizo cousin. not necessarily harmful things but uncomfortable things.

Answer 2

OK, let me get this straight.

Here's this guy you lived next door to for a fair while. He has never done anything bad or harmful to you at all, except display a rather questionable taste in robes.

You think he's a bit simple, or slow, and you've heard unsubstantiated but juicy rumours that he might be schizophrenic.

You're worried that maybe sometime in the future, he'll find a chainsaw and start harming your wife and child.

Out of the goodness of your heart, you do him the big favour of allowing him to come over and mow your lawn and help with "things". Because you can't lock the gate, riiiiiiight.

Wow. Mate, you are a prince aren't you.

Here's a perfectly innocent bloke, done you no harm, in fact done you favours. He wears a robe and might have a mental illness according to people who don't know him any better than you do.

There sure is a problem neighbour in this scenario, and it's YOU!

What to do? Mind your own business. Close your blinds. Don't look at his house. Lock your gate. Stay out of his way. He may have the foolish idea that you are friends of his, and it's time to let that idea go!

Answer 3

Sometimes, people with mental health problems don't understand what is and isn't appropriate in a social situation. It's kind of like the toddler who sticks her head up a woman's skirt - all the toddler thinks is that this is a cool place to hide and doesn't consider the act to be inappropriate. I would advise not becoming too friendly with him (don't let him inside your house) and having an alarm system installed in your home. I would continue to stay on good terms with him but maintain your boundaries. If you can see that he's naked on the porch then call the police because of the indecent exposure. While it may not offend you, I doubt that you want your daughter to be flashed by this guy. It's a pity that he's not getting the mental health assistance that he obviously needs.

Answer 4

The best thing you could do is talk to him about his behavior. Ask him to not sit outside naked, because the kids can see him and its not the best thing for them to see.
As far as the weird comments, he might not be able to control them, however, in a nice way, just tell him your wife doesn't appreciate them.
He will probably want to see the baby and hold the baby. Its up to you if you let him, but he might just be curiuos. He might have been obsessed with your wife because of her being pregnant. Its hard to tell, but the only thing I could suggest, if he is harmless is just be nice to him. If you have to, stay inside where he won't bug you. Since he does do your lawn and helps with other things, you can't really fault him for trying to be useful and helpful.

Answer 5

First of all, why are you watching him at night?... secondly, why do you let him cut your lawn and "help" with things?... Third, if you feel that your family is in some sort of danger, in regards to a next-door neighboor, moving is the only thing to do.

Don't you have a homeowners group? Sue him for trespassing. Petition to have his residency inspected on the basis of possible menace to the neighborhood.

Answer 6

Try not to get to close and comfortable with this guy. predators get to know their prey well before they attack. Make sure all the doors are locked, and u have some kind of protection against him. Trust me i have personal experience of working with mentally ill patients, they can be a little over your head with their actions at times

Answer 7

You can't make HIM move. You can't have him arrested or kicked out or anything if he doesn't do anything. But if he DOES do something, it might be too late. Odds are he is fine, but under the circumstances, I'm not convinced that moving is out of the question. If you really think he might be obsessed with you or your family, it would be foolish NOT to get out of there!

Answer 8

My question for you is, if you are suspicious of this guy, why on earth are you letting him "help" you with anything on your property?

If I felt that familiar warning tingle, as you do, I'd stay far away from him, and never let him even SEE my wife.







P.S. Rivers, the law provides for you to exclude undesirable persons from your property. There is no reason for you to sit helplessly, wringing you hands, as any damn body comes into your yard and does what he imagines will be "helpful".

Answer 9

I have tryed everything and I feel sorry for you so I try to go on with my life best I can but It is a bad place to be in.

Answer 10

Ask the poor guy round for dinner,,he's probably just lonely!.......And lock your wife and daughter in the bedroom whilst he's there!