Last night my husband mentioned one of the ladies that he works with wasn't feeling well, that she had to leave work until her heart medication is figured out. He was able to go into the details of her medical problem. We have been married for 24 years and have two wonderful children, But my entire Life I have dealt with medical problems that he shunned off and never said a word to anyone about it. Even when I coded on a surgical table, the people he worked with never knew! So do you think it's unrealistic to let him know I didn't care to hear about a woman I have never met, who has a very minor health condition in comparison? Or should I just pretend I don't feel hurt and continue living as I have. Thinking and doing for others and try to ignore the physical and emotional pain of living with a terminal illness? I lost a brother 11 months ago due to this same heart condition., my husband never mentions it....Should I whine more like the women he works with?
2007-06-21 23:59:46 · 9 answers · asked by Mona Lisa 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sister I have no sound advice for you except this. I am praying for you right this very minute, and God hears our prayers. I am so sorry that you have been hurt by this and to hear about your brother. I pray that you can find some way to give all of this to Jesus. He will know just exactly what to do with it. God Bless You, Your Home, Marriage, and Family. Whatever advice you receive on this, please be careful that you don't let your feelings influence you, but rather let the Spirit direct you.
2007-06-22 01:26:04 · answer #1 · answered by don_steele54 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you need to talk to him. Tell him what you are thinking. But do not make it sound like you are being a smart A** or he will get up set and flip it on you. You may come to find out that it is easy-er for him to talk about someone else having health problems. Because he cant or don't want to Dill with yours. You ever sit down and think maybe he will not talk about yours because he knows how close he came to losing you. And maybe he cant handle the thought of that. But just try to talk to him.
2007-06-22 07:18:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh, I would have mentioned this a long, long time ago. Tell him exactly how you feel. That is your husband, you should know everything about each other mentally, emotionally and physically. Tell him you didn't like that he knew so much about that woman's conditions, but he never let you feel like he even cares about yours.
Whatever you feel, he should know about it. That's how you become close. That's communication. Never ever put your feelings under the rug. They will only grow over the years and it will only get worse.
Get your self respect and pride and confront him. Good Luck
2007-06-22 07:09:49 · answer #3 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I think you should talk to your husband, tell him that you feel like he has more regard for a co-workers life that his own wife's! And then explain calmly why you feel that way. He may have an explanation... Maybe it scares him to think and/or talk about your condition, especially if it is terminal. Either way, I don't think it is something that you should keep in, it will just continue to bother you.
2007-06-22 07:04:54 · answer #4 · answered by Christine 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It's possible that he likes to keep your medical issues private from others and is sharing this information about this woman at work with you because it's most likely being talked about a lot at work and being made into a big deal. So it's in his head and wants to share it with you.
I could see that being possible.
2007-06-22 07:18:31 · answer #5 · answered by Iczer 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Your husband is being insensitive. Tell him how you feel when he brings up the subject of this woman and her heart condition. I know that I would be extremely hurt if my husband carried on this way. Sorry for your loss.
2007-06-22 07:05:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think perhaps your husband is just more private at work about his personal life then others there. You can talk to him about it and see and at least express your feelings so that doesn't become an issue in your relationship.
2007-06-22 07:09:50 · answer #7 · answered by Lynnae_1969 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would let it go. Your husband is just talking with you about his "work family". Most people are with the people they work with more than their own families, and they become like a family. You and your husband have alot of history, be happy he talks to you about his work.
2007-06-22 07:17:09 · answer #8 · answered by south_la_gurl 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Marriage counseling immediately This is the tip of the iceberg. He's been stuffing his feelings for many years, and so have you.
2007-06-22 07:21:47 · answer #9 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋