my gf, which am attached to now, had a history sleeping with guys, that’s what makes me feel insecure, she slept with 3 of her ex bf’s shortly after they met (after 2 or 3 dates) even before they are officially couple, she slept with 3 guys she used to know while she was a away in another country, by claiming she was drunk (she used to say where she sleeps with them, like one on the beach..etc). Anyway i do love her very much, and i feel like she does to, but some of her sms’s, say "i want to satisfy you sexually, cause i love you very much!) Does that mean she is for lust, or she loves me and have lust for me, I get very confused sometimes, imaging that she might have lust for a guy out of a sudden sleep with him then break-up with me!, she says im different because I dint make a move on the first few dates, till we got officially in relationship we got physical. Any help plz, to stop my confusion and doubts.
2007-06-21 18:23:15 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
are you for real???? i cant imagine a male, any male, worrying about a female that puts out... you are thinking waaaay too much. re:imaging that she might have lust for a guy...blah, blah, blah. like you, she may fantasize about other men like you do about other females. she sleeps with guys after a couple of dates?? shes normal, a healthy girl. healthy sex drive... she knows what or who she wants and goes and gets it... you on the other hand.. you need to get a grip. you might be better suited to find a female that is interested in sex a couple of times a year theres many of them to choose from....nothing to worry about there...
2007-06-21 19:30:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My brother is in a realationship with a woman who did some pretty bad stuff before they met. She slept with many men, she lived in an "alternative lifestyle" as a sex slave. She even did a porn film or 2. I once asked him, How he could "deal" so well with her past? and he told me this. He says that he looked at it from a unique perspective, She had done all these things before they had met, because she was searching for somthing or some one that could satisfy her on a more profound level, She had antiquated Love and sex as the same thing, when Love and sex dont always go hand in hand. The 2 of them knew almost from the start that they had a bond that was not sexual in nature, but much deeper. He says that because of his love for her that he not only is able to give her what she needs as far as love and realationship goes, But he also can give her satisfaction in the bedroom.
Im going to qoute his words too me: "I looked at this realationship as a challenge, she had done all these things and slept with all these guys before I came along, I just have to show her that Im the best, ill' show her how much I love her, and ill give her what she needs in the bedroom. Ill show her Im the best and there is no need to keep looking for what shes got right in front of her".
They've been together for 2 and a half years now, and she hasent strayed, and she loves him with her heart and soul.
If you let go of the her past, and make sure she has what she needs for the future, then you should have no worries.
2007-06-21 21:02:23 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Look at it this way.
WHATEVER SHE DID, OR WHATEVER SHE WAS, BEFORE YOU MET HER, IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
Both males and females can be sexually active or promiscuous. For males, it is easy. We like having sex because it feels good and we are genetically hard-wired to spread our genes. For women, it is different. Sometimes they can be sexually active out of insecurity, or fear of rejection, or a need to be needed and loved, or any other kind of negative reason.
You need to figure out if you have the compassion in your heart to overlook what she has done. You need to find the courage to leave her be if you cannot accept her past. The worst thing you could do is go with her anyway, and then throw her past in her face whenever you fight. Believe me, married people do that too, and it's dirty.
It is good that you have confusion and doubts. It means you are thinking about this situation before either of you gets hurt.
You know, she just might be the best thing that ever happened to you. She chose you, over all those other guys, because she considers you special and different and a cut above average.
Good luck figuring out what you want to do.
2007-06-21 18:33:38 · answer #3 · answered by Pagan Dan 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Enjoy your relationship with her without stressing. She is innocent until proven guilty. You love her then give her a chance. I think you should tell her that exactly what you told us. Ask her, are you going to cheat on me? Is this love or is it lust? What is it for you? You are not planning to marry her yet so just kick back and enjoy the good times she gives you. If you can't and you don't trust her then you take off. She has not yet given you a reason not to trust her. Her past is her past and has nothing to do with you or on your relationship. Your morals might straighten her up even if she is the cheating type. Communicate. Good Luck!
2007-06-21 18:33:57 · answer #4 · answered by Laura 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some women get a thrill out of having new partners. They
don't really want to keep them, they just love the new
beginings. Sex to, some women like to have more than one
partner and that's ok, if they don't promise them selves to
anyone, or do it while in a relationship. Most people who
act like that don't change, no matter what she tells you, she
will cheat on you, but you just might not find out until it's to
late.
2007-06-21 19:38:06 · answer #5 · answered by boxmaker40 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't say how long you have been together..
Either way time will tell....and please remember the past is the past...she might have told you because she is up front with you, and by saying you are different means well maybe she loves the change and really admires that in you.. A+ there..
Don't be too fast with her and see how she reacts..
I would just let time go by and if its meant to be it will..
If you keep dwelling on her past you are not giving yourself or her for that matter any chance of growing together..
Just go with your gut instinct and enjoy what you have..
Time reveals a lot..
2007-06-21 18:32:31 · answer #6 · answered by Rebel 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dude. One of these days you'll appreciate the fact that she has experience. just chalk it up as she is no longer with them and now she's with my so I get the benefits of her earlier flings. Just because a girl sleeps around doesn't make her a slut. So forget about her past! neither you nor her can do anything about that. You just need to concentrait on the here and now. or you will drive yourself insane. Jealousy isn't fun so try to STop being jealous while your young. Good Luck!!
2007-06-21 18:30:03 · answer #7 · answered by frankie_the_dago 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to be honest with her and let her know you are feeling insecure.
If you can not trust her completely then you need to let her go so that you can heal and find someone that you do trust.
She may feel insecure and need physical attention but if she is in a committed relationship with you then you are the only one she should be getting that attention from at all times.
2007-06-21 18:28:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Did you ever have sex with a girl with whom you were not madly in love?
If you have, and most guys have, you really don't have room to throw rocks at your girlfriend.
Either way, it sounds like you don't trust the girl. Either get over the history, learn to trust her, or break up.
Talk to the girl. Let her know about your misgivings and see what the results of the conversation are.
Doc
2007-06-21 18:40:15 · answer #9 · answered by Doc Hudson 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The best advice that I can give is for you to just observe her behavior and her heart. To be honest and tell her that you're not comfortable with her past, but you would like to be comfortable with her future. Ask her to help you trust her.
Be wise and give her time to prove that she's trustworthy.
The greatest advice that I've read says to forget the former things and to not dwell on the past...She can change if she wants to, and she may need your help to do it and to feel worthy of not living that lifestyle anymore. Encourage her!
2007-06-21 18:28:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋