It has been two years and I've been in love with two people - my husband and his best friend (who is also a very good friend of mine). TWO YEARS. So day after day for the past two years, I sit around and dwell on my problem. Divorce is not an option. Cheating is obviously NOT something I'd consider. Is happiness possible though? Anyone else ever had a similar experience?
2007-06-21 16:54:46 · 15 answers · asked by SoccerWife 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The best friend looks appealing because you can't have him. If you exchanged your husband for him, I'm sure that you'd discover the grass isn't greener on the other side. You made a choice. You need to learn to be satisfied with that choice. And, it doesn't hurt that the best friend is eye candy.
2007-06-21 16:59:45 · answer #1 · answered by Zeltar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you are going to have to sublimate the desires that might spring from your affection from the friend and enjoy the company of him and if you are honest, enjoy it when he makes connections that take him away. There are 3 kinds of love, according to the Greeks: body, mind, and soul. Even the body love does not have to be carried out in the form of cheating - enjoy the sensation. But work on the mind sharing and soul sharing with both him and your husband - make a full life. Perhaps even gather in more people instead of working toward being a isolated couple.
2007-06-21 17:01:13 · answer #2 · answered by Mike1942f 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you married this man, then stop wondering about the other guy. I believe that there is more than one person you can be compatible with in life but only one will be willing to stand beside you forever. That would be the one that married you, that is there every day and loves you with all of his heart. It's disrespectful and cruel to continue this little triangle. You may never lose your crush on the best friend but end the wondering, focus on your husband only, and be happy. You've wasted two good years of your life on this.
2007-06-21 16:58:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah that seems a little wrong to me. You can't be dating someone, or married to someone and have feelings for someone else. It's not right so you should do the right thing. It's almost like... cheating but in your head and actions havent taken place yet. Obviously you shouldn't cheat or whatever. I'm sure in the end you'll know what to do. Good luck!
2007-06-21 16:58:51 · answer #4 · answered by Cass 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you need to be a WOMAN of your word! You gave your husband promises, remember. That IS WHO YOU REALLY LOVE. IF NOT, YOU WOULD HAVE CHEATED BY NOW!
YOU ARE NOT "IN LOVE" WITH HIS BEST FRIEND....YOU MAY BE ATTRACTED TO HIS LOOKS, APPRECIATE THE QUALITY OF PERSON HE IS, ENJOY HIS WIT/COMPANY...AND THAT IS OK.
CAN YOU HONESTLY SAY THAT THE LOVE FOR YOUR HUSBAND,~~with the time in you two have, Through trials and tribulations~~IS EXACTLY THE SAME FOR THIS MAN? THINK ABOUT IT! You and hubby have the kind of connection that 'you cannot break, even if you tried! IT IS A COMMITTED LOVE! My dear, don't fret, you are human and still have womanly thoughts about men and THAT IS WHAT WE ALL HAVE. THAT IS OK, YOU ARE HUMAN AND THE MIND WONDERS SOMETIMES. YOU POSSIBLY DO LOVE THE BEST FRIEND, BUT PERHAPS IT IS A LUSTY, APPRECIATIVE TYPE OF LOVE FOR HIM BEING HIM! SECRETIVELY ENJOY IT! YOU NEED NOT BE MISERABLE ABOUT IT. I HAVE A LOT OF MEN IN MY LIFE THAT I LOVE, IF I USE YOUR CRITERION! AS IT STANDS, I HAVE A GREAT APPRECIATION FOR THEM, BECAUSE OF WHO THEY ARE....A CHRISTIAN TYPE OF LOVE~~THEY ARE GREAT GUYS! GIVING, CARING, SINGLE FATHERS, EDUCATED AND SHARING, AND JUST PLAIN OLD FYNE BROTHERS! ENJOY AND DON'T COMPARE TO WHAT YOU HAVE NOW....SOME OTHER WOMAN IS LOOKING AT HIM AND DECLARES HOW LUCKY YOU ARE AND THAT THEY LOVE YOUR HUSBAND TOO! LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO TWIST IT INTO KNOTS....ENJOY!
2007-06-21 17:38:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to forget about the b/f. I know it is hard, but focus on your husband. You may not actually be in love with the b/f just in deep infatuation. If you know you will not leave your husband, and you won't cheat then you have answered your own question. If you have to seek counseling. Pray about it. Prayer is very powerful. If you put all your trust in God he will help you.
2007-06-21 17:01:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have i have been in love with 2 people for 5 years what u should do is not think about a friend think about what that would do to ur husband if he found out? so best of luck to u.
2007-06-21 17:00:54 · answer #7 · answered by A proud mommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yer but not for 2 years. I would suggest you distance yourself from hubbies best friend! The fantasy is probably more of a turn on than the real thing. You know the grass isn't always greener on the other side.
2007-06-21 16:58:26 · answer #8 · answered by karena k 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well it all depends on which one you love more... if its ur hubby then try 2 forget about his friend by spending alot of time with him (ur husband) and yes i kno thats hard and if its the friend then it prolly means ur really meant 4 him so think it over then and maybe consider seperation or something? its not the *same* as divorce! just try not to tell your husband that... that would REALLY hurt his feelings.
2007-06-21 16:59:14 · answer #9 · answered by Lil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I've had it happen and no, happiness is not possible.
Stop dwelling, make your choice ( you already did) and stand by it and walk away from the other choices and don't look back.
It's hard but it's best for all and you'll be happier.
2007-06-21 17:00:28 · answer #10 · answered by Dax 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋