im really confused about wether or not to go through with my wedding thats in four mths???

Question

hi everyone, im hoping someone can help me. my fiance and i have been together for 3 years now and are spose to be getting married in 4mths but im really confused. he works away for 5 days a week so i only see him 2, i have a job waitressing, when he does come home all we do is fight. we have recently moved to a new town for his work and i have left every thing (my awsome job, family and friends). he doesnt like me going out and meeting new people and he expects me to sit at home and do nothing. i feel lost alone and confused i dont know who i am anymore and i feel like running away. i wish things could go back to how they used to be but we have both changed and want different things in life now. i love him and wish he and we could go back to how we used to be before he got this great paying job. i have now realised that money cant buy happyness, can someone help me please ??? :-(

Answer 1

He is most likely not going to change and if he is trying to control you now it will only get worse. Decide if it is worth it or not. I couldn't be happy living like that and fighting every time you are together is not good either. I would not get married if that is the life I was going to have but to each his own. No one can tell you what to do you have to do what makes you happy and what you feel in your heart but listen to your head too

Answer 2

It doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship you should go with your instincts and Run Away and go back to where things were good and try and sort out and agree on a few rules before you decide to tie the knot then if he doesn't want to change and try to agree on how you live your life then he can stay living in the new town and you can stay back at home where the memories are better, who knows maybe it's a sign that it's not meant to be or it could be that your both in a new setting and your getting Married in 4 months, when you think about it, that's quite alot of changes that are about to happen in your lives and plus his new job and your not working, these are changes that your dealing with and sometimes change can bring tension in relationships. This could be what's causing all the Edginess (fights). Best Wishes To You!

Answer 3

I wouldn't say you're "doomed", so don't go calling off wedding plans just yet. However, it may be wise to put the ceremony "on hold" for a while, especially before too many more weeks pass. Go ahead and let your families know you'd like to postpone the date.

Then, you guys NEED to get counseling. Check into pre-marital counseling... it helps more than you'd think! It will prepare you to deal with things as a couple, point out your strengths and what you need to work on, and help you hash out major issues BEFORE you tie the knot.

If you guys deal with stress like this NOW, it isn't going to magically get better when you share a last name. You two should be pulling together during tough times, not going at each other's throats.

You need to stop feeling resentful and listing all you've "given up" for him, and he needs to be more understanding of your feelings during this transition. You both should be thinking of the other, not of yourselves.

Please consider pre-martial counseling... if he's dragging his feet about it, tell him you might be able to get a discount off your marriage license if you can certify you completed 6 hours of sessions (we did).

Good luck... marriage is a rough road, but it's such a blessing when it's working right. Hopefully you guys can work through these problems and have a really fulfilling engagement and a beautiful ceremony!

Answer 4

okay lets start over. what was the first day of your period before the sexual incident? let just say it was june 17 (making yours 28 day cycle) you count in 14 days to your most fertile day that would have been the 30th. 3 days on either side of that would be the 27th to the 3rd. Your most likely days to get pregnant. If your boyfriend used a condom there was probably spermicide on it. even if it fell off it probably did it's job. You had a period last month and your period this month isn't due yet. You are freaking yourself out. If you are really worried go get a test. But I would honestly say you are pms - ing and not pregnant

Answer 5

Sit down with him and tell him how you feel. If he really loves you he will do what you ask. Look every couple fights me and my husband fight all the time thats cause we are newly weds.
He sounds like he is controlling you saying you can't go out and make friends girl i know you love him but don't let him tell you that you can't have friends or go out the house your not married yet and hes like this? Its not good dating a jealous guy cuz he could become violent.

Answer 6

there are too many warning signs of disaster from what you describe to go on with your wedding plans. from what it sounds like, i doubt that you two could even hold a conversation about your issues.

I don't know your fiance, but seriously, there is a pattern developing which could lead to physical abuse... he is already emotionally abusing you by cutting you off from the rest of the world and demanding that you do not socialize. you have two choices here... first one is to accept that your situation will never change and remain in an abusive relationship. second one is to recognize the warning signs and the doubt that you currently have and get the hell away. Move back to your hometown where friends and family can support you, but be aware that he may come after you, so build a safe network and get in touch with a local women's support group.

You deserve to be loved and encouraged to pursue your own ideas, dreams, and sense of self independent of any relationship you are in. that is what makes each of us unique and interesting and fufilled. this man is not good for you. get away from him.

best of luck and stay safe.

Answer 7

Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/Hh72O

Answer 8

I think you already answered your question. You just want someone to tell you what you already know. It's natural to want to hold on to something that you've invested so much time and love into. But the writing has been on the wall and you know it. The sooner you move on the sooner you can start mending and getting back to being happy again. Don't spend another miserable moment in that relationship. You can't go back and fix it. I know it's hard for you but you have to move on. You deserve to be happy like you were before. Not miserable like you are now.

Answer 9

YOU HAVE ANSWERED YOUR OWN QUESTION::::YOU MUST DO WHAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY IN THE LONG RUN...MARRIAGE IS NOT A TRIAL PERIOD...IT IS SOLID AND FOR GOOD, ONCE DONE.

IF YOU ARE YOUNG AND ADVENTUROUS, WITH NO FRIENDS, AND ''NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE ANY?"

Sounds as if you are doing things HIS WAY AND NONE YOUR WAY. THAT ALONE IS NOT A GOOD WAY TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP OF ANY KIND.

FRANKLY, AS A NEWLY WED, IT WILL BE EXTREMELY HARD NOT TO HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH A MAN AWAY FROM HOME THIS MUCH. ALSO, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SETTLE FOR A WAITRESSING JOB.

ONLY YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR HAPPINESS.....NO ONE ELSE. SO, DO WHAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY! YOU CERTAINLY ARE SMART TO PROJECT THIS NOW, RATHER THAN LATER. I AM PROUD OF YOU. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS.

Answer 10

Don't marry him, he is trying to control you, and abuse is surely on the horizon. The first thing an abuser does is isolate you from your family and friends. Then they start attacking you so you lose your self esteem. Then the yelling starts, then the physical abuse. Do some reading up on abusers and you might see many, many similarities with your fiance. If all you do is fight it doesn't look good if you marry this man. It will only get worse.