ok well its been 3 years that i've been seeing this married guy, we see each other when either one of us wants to etc..etc.. There will be times when we will last MONTHS without seeing each other, and times where we will spend months seeing each other as well. I have come to learn that its just sex between us but what confuses me is his behavior.. Yes he's married, but he doesn't act married.. We call each other up to go party, he even picks me up from my apartment.. he calls me from his cell and home phone.. he doesnt mind going out in public and showing affection.. is he trying to gt caught????
what do you all think??
2007-06-21 15:16:53 · 66 answers · asked by jena 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok i must add an important detail, the wifey knows about me, she had even called my number a couple of times.. but why does he keep at it.. she call one time private, it was sent to voicemail and it had my named recorded.. so she knows my name.. recently she called again after like so many months.. and i still have my voicemail.. so she knws its the same person..
2007-06-21 15:34:10 · update #1
Sounds to me like you are a slu t!!! Why have you been sleeping with another woman's husband for 3 years? You make me sick!! Maybe one day you'll smarten up and find a man of your own and hopefully the same thing will happen to you that you have done to that other woman.
2007-06-21 15:32:40 · answer #1 · answered by ncgirl 3 · 14⤊ 0⤋
This is an easy one: you're not the first person he's cheated with ! He's relaxed because he's been through it before. He knows the drill. In fact, he probably told wifey already, last time around, that if she didn't like it, she could leave. Like other wifeys who ask questions here on Answers such as 'Should I stay?' , his wifey points to the good times and how sweet he can be to her. She wonders if it's worth leaving him. Probably not. She's been putting up with his womanizing for quite a while and so it doesn't hurt as much now. Especially since he comes home to her. At least that's what she tells herself.
As for the phone calls to your house - she's curious. She probably knew the names and ages and even the occupations and addresses of the other women he's had 'on the side' and now she's got this morbid curiosity about just what kind of taste he has in women - are they getting older, younger, etc? It's like picking a scab to keep finding out all these little trivial details.
No doubt her friends tell her when they've seen him with you. She compares you to his other women and who knows, she may think this one might last longer. And then there's always the possibility that he's screwing another woman besides you, just to keep himself entertained. He's the center of attention - but probably his wife knows that. She figures that's partly why he does it - to be Mr. Bad Boy and have people talk about him and feel sorry for her.
However, she's seen women come and go and then come back again. It's like a little private soap opera. Who cares if the guy gets caught. It would be extremely bad manners to go out of her way to catch him. He'd just enjoy it. You'd just be confused.
No, if she's really harboring a grudge about this, she'll continue to do as she has done, watching from afar and trying to satisfy her curiosity. If she's really harboring a grudge, she'll wait until he has a health crisis or is laid off from work or has a serious emotional setback. That's when it will be satisfying for her to step out of the picture and throw him to the dogs - that is the women who have kept him entertained but haven't been married to the guy... and then he'll be someone else's problem.
LOL
2007-06-28 20:00:18 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me get this right.... you care about if he wants to get caught but you are not minding the fact that you are willingly participating in hurting another human being. She may know about you, tolerate you, or just tolerate what he is doing with you because she may know it is just sex. She may just be calling to see which tramps house he has been calling the most....What ever the case may be I am sure she doesnt appreciate you hurting her family....and that is what a husband and wife are...a family.
Does dating a married man and being the other person make you all hot? Do you like being someones plaything and nothing more....cause at the end of the day....he goes home and when he gets bored with you he doesnt call you for a few months....probably because he has another tramp on the side.
Sweetie, he may not want to get caught persay...he may just not care....what a winner you are dating.
I wish you luck in becoming a self respecting woman who doesnt find the need to hurt people and becomes mature enough to find her own man.
2007-06-28 10:12:49 · answer #3 · answered by Breava 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Despite how you feel for him, he obviously doesn't feel the same for you . He wants the best of both worlds, first off imagine being in his wife's shoes. How would you feel, and iregaurdless at this point, even if he did split up with his would you want to be in a committed relationship with the man that could never be trusted. You have to tell yourself you are worth better. He doesn't know how to make decisions and it isn't fair to you or the wife. I believe you should make the decision to move on! I am not going to throw daggers at you saying you are committing adultry. Everyone has to live with there own sins. But, I truly believe that you will get crushed if you just don't let go!
2007-06-29 03:57:57 · answer #4 · answered by pattiof 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess the better question would be is why do YOU put up with it? Why does she? It all sounds very unhealthy to me. There are a lot of great single guys out there. Why not go find one of them? Besides, if a guy is diddling around with you, he's probably diddling around with other girls too. You're endangering yourself to become pregnant. Do you honestly want a guy like this to be the father of your baby? (And don't give me the whole "we use protection thing" cuz 95% of the gals in my single parents chat group were using protection when they got preggers...sometimes more than one form of it!) Worse yet, do you want to endanger your life with an STD from some other skank that he's doing? (And yes, those same gals in my chat group have STD's, even using condoms) Isn't your life worth more than that? Or do you really care about yourself that little. I have a hard time believing that you would want that for yourself.
Hugs,
2007-06-28 07:22:20 · answer #5 · answered by Amy 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He's not trying to get caught he is caught. I was the "wifey" in a similar situation. Why are you fooling with a married man, another woman's man ? It doesn't matter if he doesn't act married. What is you were the "wifey" as you say, how would you feel ? Wifey could also be trying to get her ducks in a row, some states have very strict laws against adultry when it comes down to divorce. You need to find your own man, he is not yours.
2007-06-29 01:29:21 · answer #6 · answered by wherehaveallthehippiesgone 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is an extremely insecure person and may even believe she deserves this. Also, her father might done the same thing to her mother, who knows? But you can guarantee this is very painful to her and is having a terrible effect on her. A normal, healthy person wouldn't put up with it. I hope she will find the support she needs to leave the lousy creep she's married to and move on to a healthy relationship with a man that isn't so selfish and disrespectful to his wife. I take it you don't believe in Karma?
2007-06-29 08:23:00 · answer #7 · answered by Steve W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's another ?
Why are you seeing a married man? Can't you get one of your own? How would you feel if you were the wife? And Yes, he's trying to get caught. Maybe wify is doing a little sneaking around herself.
Please gain some self respect. Your the lowest of low.
2007-06-29 08:46:23 · answer #8 · answered by shellysd 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean is he "trying" to get caught..He already is caught. His wife knows whats up ..She's not calling you just b/c, especially after all this time..You know this how people get hurt..You could be asking for a lot of trouble. He doesn't respect you @ all & it's evident he doesn't respect his wife..If it's just sex between you two..Can't you find it with some who is unattached with out all the drama and baggage...I guess the sex means that much to you..you're very silly..with the crime rate of women who go crazy when a man, especially their husband cheats..you are absolutely silly..all for sex..wow!
2007-06-29 04:35:42 · answer #9 · answered by Unique Soul 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that u should be ashamed of yourself. He's married! Why would u even get into a relationship like that? Ur always gonna be number 2, hes never gonna leave his wife. I would say that the reason he is acting that way is probably because hes been cheating with u for 3 years now and his wife still doesn't have a clue. So he probably feels that he has no reason to try and hide.
2007-06-21 15:27:59 · answer #10 · answered by 4nonymous00 2 · 14⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop this. Do you have any idea how much the wife hurts?! I've been in her place. It hurts worse than I can describe in words. Yes, she may know about you. That isn't a stamp of approval. If she's like I was, I didn't really want to believe that my husband would do these things. I finally had no choice but to believe it. Of course he is to blame as well, but do you realize that what you are doing is the worst thing a woman could do to another woman?! What you are doing is very bad. Please reconsider. Think of someone elses feelings. He may cheat with someone else, but at least you would be able to clear your conscience knowing you aren't part of it anymore. Or do you have a conscience?
2007-06-21 22:38:25 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 0⤋