Will the IRS accept my return?

Question

Dear Internal Revenue Service:

Enclosed you will find my 2006 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00
in taxes. Please note the attached article from the USA Today
newspaper; dated
12 November, wherein you will see the Pentagon (Department of Defense)
is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat.

I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and six (6)
hammers valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot, bringing my
total remittance to $3,429.00. Please apply the overpayment of $22.00
to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. You can do
this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5" Phillips Head screw
(see aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how
H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5" Phillips Head Screws). One screw is
enclosed for your convenience.

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward

to paying it again next year.

Sincerely,
Karl

Answer 1

No, I'm sure they won't accept this, their threshold of tolerance for humor is very limited! They won't accept anything if they think they are getting "the seat"!