World's Dumbest Instruction Answers?

Question

I asked this same question earlier or Jokes and Riddles, but I wanted to try it out of P&S.

These are actual instruction labels on
consumer goods:

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this..)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Star if you like them!!

Answer 1

I heard this one:on a toilet seat the instructions read: do not put in dishwasher...yeah, whoever wrote that one must have weird housekeeping methods.

Answer 2

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

^^^Those made me laugh really hard!!!

Answer 3

I really don't get that much, but yes, some people just want the points for answering and they don't mind saying something rude instead of something nice. Don't let it get to you and but try to proofread what you write and think about it a little before you post.

Answer 4

Telephone - when it rings pick up the receiver and say hello.
To end the conversation say good-bye and put the receiver back into the cradle.
)o( Blessed Be!

Answer 5

I have a clock in my shed which was made in China and the instructions read:-
If clock stops, replace battery, if clock is still working...
Blessed be.. )O(

Answer 6

OMG those are so funny!
I like the tesco's tiramisu dessert :P

Answer 7

i actually remember reading on the maxi pad label "press pad firmly into panties. pull up panties" i guess they really needed to cut down on all the women who walked around with their underwear around their ankles while having their period!

Answer 8

I crapped myself laughing at these!

Answer 9

You just made my day, THANK-YOU, those are excellent, and I loved them all. You get a big star Babe. Aloha........

Answer 10

lol. How about shampoos?!

Lather, and rinse.

Like I couldn't figure that one out on my own!