Can someone who is verbally/emotionally abusive change their ways?

Question

Has anyone ever seen or heard of someone who was emotionally/verbally abusive changing their ways. Either through therapy, divine intervention, or otherwise?

Answer 1

It is possible, provided they seek counseling and make a determined effort to understand what causes them to be abusive and overcome it. Abusive people tend to be needy and seek relationships where they feel in control. When that control is threatened, they become abusive. In most relationships, there is the abuser and the enabler (one who enables another to persist in self-destructive behavior by providing excuses or by making it possible for the abuser to avoid the consequences of such behavior). In such cases, both are in need of counseling. If you are uncertain whether an abusive person has changed their irratic behavior, it is best to avoid a relationship with them until you have proof that they are consciously seeking help and making strides in their recovery. Until such time, they are not ready for a relationship.

Answer 2

Can Emotionally Abusive Men Change

Answer 3

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RE:
Can someone who is verbally/emotionally abusive change their ways?
Has anyone ever seen or heard of someone who was emotionally/verbally abusive changing their ways. Either through therapy, divine intervention, or otherwise?

Answer 4

An abusive person absolutely can change. The problems lie in that person realizing a change is necessary. Most people who are abusive, whether it be physically, mentally, or verbally, are that way for a reason. They weren't "born bad," so to speak. Every personality is created by a mixture of nature and nurture, meaning as a product of their genetic makeup and their socialization. For example, alcoholics often have a genetic predisposition for that malady, although not all people who have a genetic predisposition become alcoholics. If they do not experience the society of drinking, they don't drink. On the other hand, I truly believe that abusers are made, not born. Something in that person's background taught them that abusive behavior was permissable. In order to change the behavior, the background needs to be uncovered, ruthlessly explored, and discarded. Seek counseling, whether you are the abuser or the abused.

Answer 5

Hi Jessica,

If it's someone that is in a relationship and it has been going on for awhile, it can be extremely difficult for them to change their ways toward that person. Relationship counselors must be used right away, if the relationships wants to be salvaged and at the first sign of abuse against each other. OFten, couples do nothing right away and it will get worse and get to a point of no return.

Also, the older someone is the more difficult it is for them to change their ways. If someone is willing to accept that they have issues and need to change, then it would help them to go through therapy. Having certain life experiences can help as well, sometimes it takes a death or another moment for them to realize that they need to change.

Oftentimes, the person will never change, especially if they have no interest in doing it and are not willing to listen to others. Narcassitic people have this problem and are very difficult to change.

Answer 6

I've had this in my life, the person never changed. I now have a neighbor next to me like this and she will never change. They both know how to act nice when they want to but they aren't able to see themselves enough to even begin to change. I have found that usually these people suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I just got done reading the book, "Children of the Narcissistic Parent", if you get that book it might help you deal with someone like this.

The people I've run into like this didn't have a drinking problem that could of been a cause of this.

Diane

Answer 7

Yes, they can. I've seen it happen many times in alcoholics anonymous, of which I am a member. Many alki's are extremely abusive when drinking. When they sober up and take the A.A. program to heart, they turn an about face and become completely different people...

That is... if they are *willing*. The question isn't whether they can, but whether they want to. There has to be an element of realization that they *are* abusing, and a desire to change it... thus, willingness is the key.

Answer 8

Someone who is verbally / emotionally or physically abusive won't change. you have to change and either accept it or get the hell away from them. I know I have an ex who will never change and I cant make him. I'm the bad person in his book.

Answer 9

I have seen a few people who are verbally/emotionally abusive pretend to change their ways, including lying to themselfs and others. However I have never seen one really change their ways.

The problem is they tend to lie to themselfs and are convienced they are not the problem. People who rationize their accountabilty will never change.

Good luck - perhaps there are some out there with the inner sight to see the problem.

Answer 10

yes of course. other answerer is right - it takes time and effort and the person must desperately want to change - essentailly the learned bad patterns of behaviour will always be there and will come out under extreme stress but can be controlled in the everyday. The person will be fighting their intrinsic self for the restl of their life - but it's worth every second.