Unfaithful Chat?

Question

My husband is currently deployed in the Army. I found one thing that keeps my mind off our situation is to chat with other people online. Would you consider it unfaithful to chat with random guys? My husband says he doesn't mind as long as I'm careful.

Answer 1

I think its ok as long as its not from the heart. But yes you need to be really careful. and dont fall inlove online.

Answer 2

Yes, if the chat is just friendly, and doesn't develop further, BUT please be careful. With your husband away, its easy to feel that the "Internet Chat" is just an outlet, some one to talk to, but isn't there anyone around you that you can talk to in person?
Its hard when your apart, and the net has immediate gratification, as opposed to having to wait for a letter or call from hubby. Its so easy to get carried away when your there on the computer, believing that the Internet is a safe place to vent, or pretend, or just let out some frustrations, but many an affair starts here. I'm not saying you will, just asking that you keep in the back of your mind the risks.
The one way you can tell if its gone too far is simply ask yourself "Would I do/say/type the same thing if my husband was standing over my shoulder watching me?" If no, you may have already crossed the line.
Please take care, of yourself and of your relationship.

Answer 3

The answer lies within your heart. If you feel it platonic and nothing else, then do not consider it unfaithful. You will know when it crosses the line to something else.

I think your husband correct when telling you to be careful. Do NOT give out any personal information regarding where you live or any other overly personal information. Also, it may help to assuage your fears if you are upfront with the person with whom you chat--telling them that you are not looking for cybersex or an affair.

You will find your share of pigs, jerks and desperate wankers on the Internet, but not all are as such either. I can understand where chatting with other people would help keep your mind off of your situation.

I wish your husband a safe return home and thank him and the families involved for their sacrifice.

Answer 4

Chatting is okay. But you have to be mindful of the situations that can arise. If you are at work and you are naturally attracted to someone it would be a bad idea to have lunch with them and start working out with them. Same thing with online friends. Don't ever let them cross that line of intimacy and things will be okay. Otherwise you can create an emotional mess if you get involved with someone online. Even if you thought it was just for fun. Try keeping a journal of your everyday activities and have your husband do the same. Then send them to each other every so often. It can really make you feel close to each other even if you are so far away.

Answer 5

It's OK to chat online--to other spouses of deployed personnel. You're playing with fire. Your husband is trusting and innocent. So are you. Keep it that way.

Let's say, for example, you were chatting with me online. What kind of BS could I give you?

I might say, for example, that I was deployed, out of the service now, my wife left me because she couldn't stand the stress. (She's not like you, y'know, patient and understanding and so kind and loving.) Then you start to open up with me, once you trust me, and the next thing you know I have power over you.

My point is that the only thing you know about people online is what they choose to tell you.

What kind of guy would want to chat with another man's wife--knowing that she loves her deployed husband and there is no hope of a relationship? Some married guy? Some fantasy freak? Do yourself a favour. Don't do it.

Answer 6

Now I am going to take the polar opposite view.

As a woman, I hardly think there is any "harmless" chatting between any woman and a "random guy"......sure it passes the time and helps keep you sane if you do not get a lot of contact with adults, but I feel that itself IS time, time that you should or could be devoting to your significant other.
And I think the probabilty of the random guy to get sexual is very high, after all it is the internet!

I feel that this a dark and unpredictable path you are taking, and if you read the thousands of cases of people basically dumping their families for their loves they met online, you would know that this can happen!

Good luck!!!

Answer 7

I would be very specific on the parameters of this chat. If you start to share too much on a personal level with a man online, and he with you, you can form some serious emotional attachments. You have to be very vigilant on this, because many, many relationships have been ruined over online romances that often start completely innocently. I understand that your husband is okay with you doing this as long as you are careful, but for me...I would stick to chatting with people of the same sex. I wouldn't want to take the risk.

Answer 8

Wellllll, as long as your husband agrees. Honestly, ask yourself, how would you feel if the places were reversed & he did that while you were in the Army??? For me, I think it's asking for trouble...Why do you have the need to talk to other men when you have one of your own.. One who is giving his life to protect YOU & US! How can you be "careful" when you don't even know who you are chatting with? You don't know if they're telling you the truth or not. Don't know what they're purpose of chatting w/a woman is? One thing for sure, my husband would NOT approve, nor would I of him. Guess we all have different priorities tho. Why don't you stick w/Yahoo Answers? It's fun, takes up a lot of time, & serves a purpose..
I think you're asking for trouble, but that's my opinion.

Answer 9

Welllllllllll.....not to burst your bubble.......But welcome to the military life..When MY husband was in Iraq(he's Infantry) I was very worried and lonely....BUT there's so many "Hobbies" to do then to chat on comp with guys u dont even know....Of course have friends...but be careful you dont get emotionally involved..yup that would be unfaithful. Maybe look at it differently, would it be "fine" with you if he "chatted" with other females if you were at work(since this is a job for him)....If him being deployed is too much for you and you cant take be alone maybe being a military wife is not for you...Yup it's hard. I know! But I'm blessed and very grateful my husband came home alive!!

Answer 10

do you specifically seek out guys to chat with or do you chat with anyone? i don't think it's wrong to chat as long as you aren't looking for "companionship" (the quotes say it all). if you are just lonely and want to talk to people i don't see anything wrong with that, but don't pass up females as online friends. only talking to guys is a little suspicious. and don't get yourself into a dangerous situation or a situation where your hubby will want a divorce. cheating and lying never help a relationship, only hurt it. good luck, i hope you get to see your hubby again soon.

Answer 11

you're been honest with him and he approves.
for one i would wonder why you need to flirt with random guys on the web, several things that are disturbing about that and they are the fact that once you get used to it, what happens when your husband comes home...can you give it up? what happens too when flirting isn't enough and you want to meet up with someone? and the last thing is you don' t know who any of those guys are and i can tell you from personal experience...anyone can find anyone on the internet. it is so easy to track ppl using their i.p. address which if you know how to go about it you can find within minutes...so what happens if one of those guys is a nutcase and decides since you are alone and hubby is far away that he wants to play? also are you as comfortable with your husband chatting with random girls on the net? again ask yourself why aren't you enough for him and he enough for you. i know it's lonely with him deployed but your best bet would be to get involved with other soldiers wives rather than chatting with strangers.