My husband of 4 years doesn't want to sleep with me. We didn't have the greatest sex life while dating, he claimed to be "uncomfortable" because we were not married. Silly me thought once we were married he would feel more comfortable. The first few years he acted like I was the nympho who just wanted it too much.....He was happy with once a month, I was only asking for his attention once a week. After a year of counceling he agreed maybe something wasn't right and now he just says he doens't know whats wrong with him. I can't live the rest of my life feeling undesired. Do I stay married?
2007-06-21 14:21:39 · 24 answers · asked by Julie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Bet he is secretly gay.
2007-06-21 14:26:55 · answer #1 · answered by KID87 1 · 5⤊ 0⤋
A year of counseling and he doesn't know what's wrong - or won't say. Either way, things aren't changing after a year of trying. Are you prepared to wait possibly 10 years until he figures things out? Let's say he has a low sex drive. That's certainly possible in some men. Can you live with sex once a month for the next 10 or 20 years? Be honest with yourself.
If feeling desirable and being desired is important to you in a marriage, then consider getting out because it looks like you're going to be waiting for an answer for a long time. A year of counseling is certainly sufficient to at least discover the problem and I'm not entirely convinced that he doesn't know what the issue is. Now, to be fair, has he had his testosterone levels checked? If not, have it checked to make sure there's nothing wrong hormonally.
2007-06-21 14:52:43 · answer #2 · answered by scubalady01 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG, I have the EXACT same situation with my husband. We have been married for almost 4 years as well. I am lucky if we have sex once a month. I have tried EVERYTHING to get him turned on, but he just "pushes" me away. The rejection hurts so bad that I have stopped coming on to him at all. Why bother trying if I'm just going to get my heart broken, and feel like a fool for making myself vunerable.
It has gotten to the point where I cant even read a romance novel, or watch a TV show where there are 2 people in love, because it makes me want to cry. Why cant I have that?
I would love to talk about this more with you. Please email me!!!
2007-06-21 14:37:28 · answer #3 · answered by Brenda 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My husband and i had great sex in the beginning, then after 2 years he lost intrest i had to beg for sex no lie haha then recently he tells me that he is no longer in love with me ad doesnt find me attractive anymore. Does he tell you he loves you and cuddles? Does he do nice things for you? Maybe he has the same problem?
2007-06-21 15:10:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. You have no respect for your husband and no respect for marriage. Your husband deserves better.
Frankly I am disappointed at other answers, if this was the other way around most people would be saying "he needs to respect you". But when it is the other way around HE has a problem, you deserve better, he's gay or he's cheating. This just shows the sexism that many hold.
2007-06-21 14:38:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Has he been to a doctor to see if there could be any health problems? If he has no health problems there has to be something about sex that bothers him. Maybe something from childhood or his Mother taught him it was taboo. Generally speaking most redblooded man or females enjoy sex, so I would try to see if there is a reason and not jump to the divorce right now. If you love him try to see what is wrong.
2007-06-21 14:31:44 · answer #6 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While its more common among women, there are a few men that have a low sex drive due to low Libido. You can do a search on this issue. Its likely not that you are undesirable but an issue with his drive or past issues that lead to this point. Try to be patient with him and help him through this. If you love each other it can be worked out.
2007-06-21 14:30:21 · answer #7 · answered by GARY M 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Does he tell you he loves you..does he show any signs of affection other than bed.. there can be other type of intimacy which maybe you both can discover..maybe he had something traumatic experience way before he knew you. Even though you went to counseling..doesn't mean he revealed all. If you truly love him, be patient..give it awhile..honestly, I doubt that he will change..unless the real reason comes out!
2007-06-21 14:35:42 · answer #8 · answered by sassy 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Julie, Dear, aleianation of affection is proper grounds for a divorce ! That is part of the husbands duties,to care for your wife emotionally, financially and physically ! Two become one flesh to love honer and cherish till deah you do part,or until one is unfullfilled. "That be you !"
2007-06-21 14:49:57 · answer #9 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody should have to beg their spouse for intimacy. And correct me if I'm wrong but it seems that that's not the only thing is wrong in your relationship, starting with lack of communication.
There's no strong base for a happy marriage so why should you waste your time anymore? Pursue your happiness where you have a chance.
2007-06-21 14:31:42 · answer #10 · answered by Lulu 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
dozing bare would not unavoidably advise he needs intercourse on a daily basis. I sleep bare and it has no longer something to do with needing intercourse. i hit upon it greater well-off to sleep bare, and that i've got confidence certain and constrained whether I positioned on boxer shorts to sleep. this is his intercourse rigidity that reasons him to need intercourse on a daily basis, no longer the reality that he sleeps bare. you may ask him actual to positioned on some thing to mattress, yet that isn't supply up him needing intercourse on a daily basis.
2016-12-13 09:43:46 · answer #11 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋