I can’t seem to do anything right. I have a tendency not to pay attention to all the details?

Question

As a result I don’t put my heart into most things and end up not doing as well as I could. I also end up taking more time to complete relatively simple tasks because by taking 'shortcuts' I have only made things more difficult. It is not that I am incapable of achieving certain levels of success. In fact I have had my IQ tested professionally and it scores as highly above average at 140. However socially I feel very much like an outsider, I spend vast amounts of time alone and don’t really have an outlet with people who seem to share my interests so part of my brain is actively overcompensating for this. Yet ironically if I am doing something that will benefit another person it is the opposite, I tend to excel at tasks and pay great attention to detail when the end reward will be bestowed upon someone other than me. I don’t think very much of myself at a very deep level. This has come out in my writing before. What I want to know is, how can I get myself to care and try harder at tasks?

I am reading up on ADHD. I am not quite sure if this is what I have (although some of the symptoms do correlate to me i.e. excessive talking) because I was able to achieve honours academically in various advanced programs during a time when I had become very motivated. I have been depressed for a while though. My lack of attention to detail is almost induced. For example, if I have an important job interview or exam I will find excuses to stay up till 4am and I will not eat any breakfast that morning and as a result I will do perform poorly. The pay off perhaps is that I can continue to remain in isolation and in slight depression?

Answer 1

I thought for a moment that I had written the statement above. LOL Take it from me, learn to be a little easier on yourself. Take a pencil and notebook and start by writing down everything you like to do in life. When you are finished, circle your top five favorite things to do. Then don't do one other bloody thing on the list for the rest of the summer. I was an overachiever for my entire life. Illnesses of one sort or another stopped me in my tracks about three years ago. Until recently I felt guilty every morning because I could barely get down the stairs to let my dogs out let alone do the dishes or the five dozen tasks I used to perform for the rest of the world. I think when you are bright a lot more is expected from you and no one abuses you more than yourself. I have known some extraordinarily successful people in my life and I believe their secret to personal and professional success was to only pick a few things to do and do well. Trust me I do not remember one ever being criticized for not do dozens and dozens of things well. I know I'm rambling, but I want you to do as I say and not as I've done. As I sit here typing from my sick bed, I'll let you in on a little secret: not one of the hundreds of people I have helped even knows that I'm sick. In fact, I bet they've never even given much thought to all the projects I completed on THEIR behalf. It's okay because I had goals and I accomplished. Now, I only hope that God is going to grant me a good, long life so I can begin focusing on the five things I'd like to do for me.

Thus my answer to your last question is: take a break from doing things for others, stop caring so much and trying so hard. At the end of August, I'd love to hear from you so I know how you made out. I'm betting that you will be much happier.

Answer 2

You sound like a very interesting person, try to stick to things you excel best in. When you are challenged with something else take your time at it, slowing down is not a crime, take notes, relax, have faith in your abilities and remember that anything you do generally benefits others in some way or another. And remember that you are just as valuable as the next guy so if you do things that benefit others, it started with you :)

Answer 3

This maybe sounds too simple, but after reading your blurb, it is also very obvious. you have quite a low self-esteem button, you seem to know enough about yourself to sense the shortcomings, and get more out of yourself when doing things for others...this to me shows you are attracted to the rewards of doing things for others, but cannot muster the same energy to achieve rewards for yourself...has it come to you yet?...you need a life, some interests which make you lift your opinion of yourself, I remember struggling with an issue such as this, and I decided to do some voluntary work for our local community, and in this way found I could develop myself in a very unique way - I found out alot about what I liked, didn't like, and most especially what actually made me tick, which to me sounds like what you need...good luck in your future ventures...you people pleaser you...

Answer 4

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Answer 5

By doing what you just did! Identifying and acknowledging there is a problem is the first step to a new beginning. Just keep your eye on the prize of a happier way of life. Full speed ahead my friend!

Answer 6

all the answers are right in your post now ask yourself why do you value others opinions about yourself over your own? you need to see that in valuing yourself you benefit in so manys ways not just personally but others benefit from you.

Answer 7

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adhd

Answer 8

Maybe you have ADD. Why don't you see your doctor? It could'nt hurt.