he is a volunteer fireman, but rather go on a call instead of spend time with the family. i sometimes can understand as the kids can be challenging, always yelling, screaming and fighting, yet i'm stuck with it all! i am always home doing laundry, cooking cleaning and kids while he can go out and play mr .fire fighter rescue hero! what can i do? even today i wanted to pick up the kids from school and he was like "ooo i have a call he rather go to the call . i make plans for the family and yet he says "i have other things to do at the fire hall." am i wrong to say to stop the fire fighting for awhile to spend time with the family>?
2007-06-21 12:48:23 · 9 answers · asked by someoneyoudontknow 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
BTW...he is a VOLUNTEER fireman....he is not a PAID fireman it is not his job. fyi...i passed out one time nand almost died from overdose, yet he left me to go on another call! i dont mind he helps people i'm glad he does...but all he wants to do is help people,,...when his own family needs him once in a while
2007-06-21 12:58:53 · update #1
Because you probably nag the living crap outta him. Why do you think he wants to be away from you so much. You need to chill out lady.
2007-06-21 12:57:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you "passed out...' and "almost died from an overdose.." Can you think of any reason why he might want to be away from you rather than deal with the problems at home?
You both need to sit down and have a long heartfelt talk with each other. You sound angry right now, so do yourself a favor and calm down first. No matter if you're paid or volunteer, family comes first. Before you can fix the 'problem' you need to understand what the problem is. If you can't do this together, then get some outside professional help. Your family is the priority not your feelings of hurt or his feelings of being nagged (if that's what they are).
2007-06-21 13:19:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if it wasn't a volunteer job and he was making money, I would say that you should be more appreciative that he is making this money for his family. But this is volunteer. I think you should nicely and calmly tell him your daily routine, and that it is stressing you because you are doing almost all, if not all, the family needs. Maybe ask him to cook dinner one night he comes home, it's not terrible to ask the guy to cook ONE time... I know most people believe it is the woman's "place" to cook... or maybe ask him to do some laundry, or something else that takes some stress off you. Most importantly, encourage him to spend time with the kids. Say you want to take the kids out this weekend to do something fun, and that you think it would be a good time for him to spend time with the kids. If you are nice and calm about it, he will probably agree, if you are complaining and putting him in an irritable mood, then chances are he's going to go do the volunteer fire thing. If you don't speak up, he'll never know. Just have a conversation with him. Just politely say there is so much that needs to be done around the house, that he doesn't have time to do volunteer work ALL the time. Family comes first.. and that means spending time with them, feeding them, doing their laundry, or even just being in the same room as them. My best suggestion, in my opinion, is ask him if he wants to go out and do something with the kids this weekend so you all can spend time as a family. This way he doesn't see you have a problem with all his work, but also lets him know you think it would be nice that he take time to spend time with the kids, and you.
2007-06-21 12:57:32 · answer #3 · answered by mommy_to_mason2006 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I agree with Mommy...since he's not actually getting paid for it he can miss every now and then to spend time with family. If it's a requirement (such as with Food stamps and having to volunteer 80 hours), let him do his 80 and suggest that he's done all that's needed for that month. Either way, it seems it's something that he enjoys and gives him a sense of pride during the hard unemployment times.
2007-06-21 13:01:28 · answer #4 · answered by plezuplezme04 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its great what he does to help people. But he needs to spend time with you. Family is the most important thing no matter what.Its taken me several years to realize this. Tell him how you feel . Its okay to be involved in other things but your family comes first no matter what. If this doesn't work I guess you can set your house on fire.
2007-06-21 14:56:45 · answer #5 · answered by Maxwell and Samantha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he is rescuing people in need after all, and demanding as the household can be, you could (if you chose to) blow off cleaning every once in awhile. But what happens if the fire department decided not to show up to a fire?
2007-06-21 12:54:26 · answer #6 · answered by Captain S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i'm glad youre not a fireman. i think you might be a little selfish at least he works. all you have to do is be a house wife while he risk his life boo who
2007-06-21 12:54:38 · answer #7 · answered by kathy h 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
don't make him quit his job, he is saving people! but lay it on the line that he has to spend time with you!
2007-06-21 12:54:02 · answer #8 · answered by mekaylahall 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
set a fire at home maybe
2007-06-21 12:50:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋