Do you ever feel like the person you are, is not really you?

Question

I stay home all of the time, I'm alone a lot (I don't hate being around people, but I think being alone is easier for me), I'm constantly asking myself why I am this way. I consider myself to be a happy person, a funny person, and interesting, crazy person. And it only comes out once in a while, when i'm with my good friend and otherwise crazy cousin. I don't understand it, but when I'm with other people, I become concious of myself, I become boring, nervous and all. I'm a confident person, I don't worry too much of what other people think, but I do want people to like me. A lot.

Is it just a sudden loss of energy? Am I not really this person I think I am? ♥

Sorry! I spaced, I ment to put this in Psychology, but I spose it could fit here...

Answer 1

It has taken me literally years to figure this one out. I have always been a very shy person. I still am at times plagued with social anxiety which hinders interaction and ultimately hurts the fostering of new relationships. This is my philosophy on the issue and maybe it will help.
Basically people are constantly under the influence to play roles in the lives of the people around them. You're personality consist of thousands of different aspects and for some strange reason we only present those aspects which suit the situation. To one person you may play as a provider of support and assistance, to another you may play the comedian, and yet to another you may play a very authoritative role. Its not that people are fake, but we are very adaptive in our environment. The only time that we are truly ourselves is when there is no one around us to "entertain". The characters that we present ourselves as in other people's lives are still part of the same whole, but are only a small reflection of who we really are.
The anxiety comes in when we are presented someone new and we are uncertain which direction to take, which traits we would most likely like to present, and whats the best approach to connecting to their lives. If we are unable to find the proper solution in enough time we begin to target our self esteem and create a self-fullfilling prophecy of "well I am just a shy person". The secret to not go down this road is to have confidence in knowing who you are. Since you are alone alot take some times to find yourself and find solid evidence to support your theory of who you feel you are as a person. If anything you are a very special person. Some people are NEVER able to look at themselves and are NEVER able to be completely alone due to the fear they have of self reflection. This confidence will buy you the time to play your role correctly and it won't matter that you were shy to begin with.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

Wow, that sounds uncannily like me. Well, I've had talks with some good confidantes about this kind of thing and I'm usually told that everyone has a certain version of this problem. No one's a one track social butterfly and no one's always quiet and reserved.

I mean, since you like being alone, you might be more of a thinker and listener than a talker. And sometimes you might be really crazy and lively. Personalities aren't just black and white. You can be a bit of both and an uneven mix of introvert and extrovert at different times.

I feel the same way a lot of the time. The trick is to stop worrying about whether people find you boring or interesting and just find a friend who will always accept you no matter what mood you're in.

Some social situations where the people around you might be feeling a little more talkative than you could get awkward. Even at parties, I've felt just like how you've described yourself. But I usually find that if I give it time, there's someone who's just as quiet who's willing to talk to me. You don't have to be loved by everyone.

I think you know yourself very well, otherwise you wouldn't ask such a specific question. It could be that you're tired and not as energetic as usual, but chances are you'll face lots of times when you feel awkward and tongue-tied. Quiet people are definitely not boring. It's natural to be nervous in some social situations.

Just go with the flow and understand that you're not the only one. If you know you're charming and fun (even if it's only around certain people) then you are.

Answer 3

I too was told that I was a happy child. But some where along the line things changed.

It is very possible that you are suffering from depression. Clinical depression are only treatable by medication.

I am no big fan of medication but I used to take medication for depression. It is nothing to be embarrassed about either. It's like getting a headache (but more permanent). Go seek help. I usually openly talk about my depression (and ADD). So far few people have come up to be behind the scene and I was able to direct them to medical help. I rather help others than hide my depression.

Good luck. Life's too short not to seek help.

Answer 4

Am I none of the parts? Or am I all of the parts pretended? I am the one who wonders. Neither none, a part, or the whole, but the act which carries on. Something completely different. There is no fulfillment in merely existing at times. But, we can only be that which is the process of life. All the little things we deceive ourselves with in our 'moments' are just for our entertainment and dissapointment.

I'm still working on it too. We have to grasp the strength of understanding we are only the actions, and to find beauty and enlightenment from the reactions created from our actions.

I think too much. I just want to play.

Answer 5

Yes! All the time, theres nothing wrong with that, we all have our reason for feeling this way, I do because we were six siblings and they always terrorized me, then when I got married, it was a joint family of five, with whole bunch of their cousins in the same building, they were all the time around us, and I was tormented there too, after I got divorced, from that day until today, I live by myself, and like my loneliness, maybe because I don't want anyone to hurt me anymore, trust me it works, all I need is a PEACE.
When I am around people, I get scared, uncomfortable and shaky, as if they going to say or do something mean, that might hurt me, feels like I have shielded myself, shut myself off from the outside world, YES its sad but that's the only way, I can protect myself from butchers and vultures.
That's alright by me, I think I have made my comfort zone, but then my life is over, I have seen everything, but sweetheart you are young, beautiful you have your whole life in front of you, you have to snap out of this, you have to make effort, push yourself, force yourself, make effort, I am sure you can do it, YOU HAVE TO, get help, get therapy or counseling. Good Luck.

Answer 6

There is a continual conflict of perceived self and true self. Perceived self is that idea of yourself you have in your head while your true self is that which you truly are: undefinable, infinite.

In your head you have this idea that you don't care what people think of you but it sounds like you have anxiety towards being rejected. You should learn how to accept rejection. I recommend you go out there and get rejected a few times and then accept it and be ok with what you've done. Tell a risky joke, go out on a limb, do something you feel is more in tune with what you feel in the presence of others.

Answer 7

The 'you' you think you are is only the collection of experiential memories. 'you' use these memories to define an entity called 'me', live through it now and project it into an imagined future. If there are any moments where the 'you/me' is not apparent then at that time you are actively living as the human organism.
This idea of 'you' is completely unnecessary and is a learned mechanism. Your body is already equipped with a natural intelligence that surpasses what you have created through learning and memorizing mankind's knowledge.

It isn't 'you' that is really living but life happening.

Answer 8

Whoever you are when you're alone .... that's the real you.

The other person ... The one that comes out around other people. It's a mask.

For me, It's a mirror, a reflection of the person I'm talking to. Whatever personality type they are, that's the same kind I try to be when I'm around them.

Sometimes the mask we wear is just a mask.

Answer 9

medically-check with your doctor for some form of social anxiety disorder. personally, i think you have trouble knowing who you are with out someone there to show you who you think you want to be, and that is where the serious inner soul searching should focus at. are you really acting like "you" when you are with them, or is it more how they act that rubs off on you, or maybe you envy how they act outside of their homes. maybe you should observe them when they are alone...and especially in a home environment! i know what you are going thru because i suffer from the disorder but the difference is i really dont care for most people. i have high expectations of them and instead of them letting me down i just find it easier to ignore or avoid them. but in your situation, i think you are still figuring out who you are...this happens with age, traumatic experiences, and new interests. but im warning you, if you think about it long enough you will figure it out, but the hard part is applying it. good luck.

Answer 10

I know what you mean. I used to be shy, then became very talkative and now becoming shy again.
But it's probably about how things are going in your life and how you feel.
I guess I'm more talkative when I'm happy, when I'm confident and when things are going the way I want them to.