My husband told me today that he doesn't love me anymore. We have a 9mo old.. I feel like I'm going to die.

Question

We've had several arguments since our only baby was born nine months ago, but I never thought that he could stop loving me. He said that it's nothing to do with our fights or me or anything I've done, but that he just realized one day that he didn't really love me anymore. Our second anniversary was just a few days ago. We're only 25, I don't want my marriage to end. I love him more than anyone on the planet. The only thing he could have said to hurt me any more would be that our baby had died.. I don't know what to do. Is it possible to love someone again once you don't anymore? We're both Christian's and he's always said that he doesn't believe in divorce, but when I was crying and told him I didn't want to live without him, he started to say "You'll have to" but stopped himself and said, "I know". When I say I love you, he just says, "I know you do" I don't know what to do. I said we needed counseling, but he said that a counselor can't fix your heart and make you love someone

again. I want to die, honestly. I can't imagine living without him. He's everything to me, besides our baby. Please, give me some advice. How can I gain is love and affection back? Have any of you been through this and still had a successful marriage afterwards? I'm desperate to keep my husband and I'll do anything.

God Bless.

..and I know it's weird to bring this to yahoo, but I have no one else to talk to. I don't want to tell anyone yet, we've always been a great couple.. this is just so sudden and shocking. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone yet.

Answer 1

You said you are Christians...pray pray pray!!! and then go to your husband and suggest counseling. Are you active members of a church? Seek counsel from your pastor...pray some more....keep praying!! God is not in this decision of your husband's and you need to pray that God will heal your marriage...do not give up hope and try to be strong for that sweet baby God has blessed you with!!

I will pray for you and your husband...and for healing!!

Answer 2

Hello, You and your husband are going through a very difficult and emotional time. Having a baby and being young can be very straining on a relationship. Without knowing anything more than what you have written, it is hard to offer a lot of advice, but hang in there for your child's sake. I have two children and I am on my second marriage (I am 29 and my husband is 30) Our children are 8 and 2. I know from my experience that men can say a lot of awfully hurtful things when they are upset. Give him a few days to think about things without pressing the issue and try to talk to him again when it is a good time for both of you. Continue praying about this and try going to a bible study group geared towards married couples at your church. Once you are in there with other couples, you will find that most couples go through the same arguments and hardships. Maybe you could even find a couple that has been married several years to help mentor you guys. Hang in there and you will be just fine!! God bless you.

Answer 3

I can only imagine what are you going through, sounds painful..I've had some arguments with my boyfriend too since we moved together for a year, he asked me to move to his place and I left my country in order to stay with him. I've felt so depressed, frustrated and lonely and I've wished to come back to my country...But in the heat of the moment I can't think positive, so that's why I wait and analize what went wrong..It doesn't have to be his fault or my fault in order to get into an argument. What I do is talk to him in a quiet moment and see what happened, then he gives me his point of view and I do the same and at the end we apologize and everything goes back to normality.
In your case you said that your husband told you that he doesn't love you anymore..but it's your right to ask why?, you need to know...he can't just wake up and tell you that doesn't love you anymore after the time that you've been together and your baby...It's has to be a reason in order to him to tell you that. You have to analize yourself and see what's been different in your relationship since you got married, maybe he is not receiving too much attention from you or viceversa? or it could be X reasons...
When you do this take him to a picnic or a romantic dinner were you two guys can spend time alone. Remember communication is the most important thing in a relationship!!
If this doesn't work and he still tells you the same then don't suffer anymore because you don't deserve this is just unfair the fact that you're giving love and you can't have it back!!.
Let him go and the he'll notices what a wonderful woman he just lost, I'm sure you'll get over it and always offer your problems to God he's the only one who can help us in any situation!! Good luck !! I wish you the best!! =)

Answer 4

Several men go through some rough changes when a baby come in to their lives, it's usually that they don't know what to feel. They went form being the center of attention to sharing you, and that's a big deal. I recommended this to another couple a marriage encounter talk to your husbandd about it, it did wonders for my marriage i am only 26 and my husban 29 married for 5 years and have a 1 year old and a 3 year old. They will help both of you rekindle what you once had, it might not be that he does not love you only that he is confused as to how he is feeling at this present time.

Answer 5

I'm sorry you are going through this. It must be tough but you need to be strong for the sake of your beautiful child.

I agree with the others, you need to talk to someone in person who can hug you so you don't feel so alone. You also need to see if you have a medical condition.

See if your husband can help you understand and see if there is anything you can do to make it better. You really need open communication.

Finally, if things don't work out, remember that your life will go on and that it doesn't have to revolve around him. Think worst case scenario, what if he does leave? Then what? Make a plan. The unknown can be scary so if you have a plan it will feel a little less scary.

Best wishes

Answer 6

First of all, you can't die. How would your child feel with a motherless life. You both need eachother, and you know full well it's true. And I don't mean you and your husband. You are obviously hurting, so I won't be too harsh, but your husband is a piece of ****. If he wasn't intending to stay with you "in sickness and in health", he should have never made his vows, let alone, started a family with children with you. Trust me on this one, there are thousands, no, millions of men, now including one more, who would kill to be married to a woman that actually has morality and a kind of love you only see in movies; you just don't see it anymore these days, and it cracks my soul knowing that someone of your stature has to deal with a prick that is willingly letting you know that he is ready to permanently destroy you and his child mentally. To me, people, not just men, like that are the reason I wake up in the morning and put on an angry face just so that people don't come up and talk to me anymore because they're only looking for a favor or something that could potentially hurt me. When he has told you what he has, he has a mindset. Men are stubborn, and counseling is not going to fix that. Fact... as much as this may hurt, you better prepare yourself for a horrible court battle for belongings and custody of your newly born child. Whatever you do, don't bring the child into any of this, and I hope that when you're yelling at eachother, he/she is sound asleep dreaming of beautiful images and not his/her family falling apart. I'm sorry for what I've said, but someone had to say it. I'm not one to sugarcoat things because it may potentially hurt you, and I don't need the liability of hurting someone.

Answer 7

Someday soon you will wonder how you could feel this bad!

You will undoubtely have the love of your little child and probably given you are a young 25, a new man as well.

Find the strength in yourself to move beyond this....move back to be close to friends or family during these hard days.

My friend recently married a divorced woman with a small child, they now have a baby of their own and all four of them are as happy as can be.

Have faith!

Answer 8

OMG your question hit me like a ton of bricks. I've been through this with my husband at it was DEVASTATING. I know how your heart is broken right now. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. This happened to me right before my second anniversary just like you, I can relate to SOOOO much of your story. My husband and I got through it, there is hope. You can email me and I'll explain mrs.v259@yahoo
Pray everyday and don't give up because love is worth fighting for but keep your dignity and keep your head up. I'll be praying for your family too :)

Answer 9

Is it possible to love someone again once you don't anymore?

Yes, it is possible. Not likely, but I wouldn't give up hope. Since I don't know your husband, I really can't give a qualified answer to this one. But I would request that your husband go to his physician for a complete physical and also to check for depression. I had a friend whose husband had an undiagnosed thyroid condition and was depressed, left his wife and two kids for a time, and eventually they got back together after he had sought counseling and was properly medicated.

Answer 10

Trust in GOD. Prayer can change everything. Trust that the all mighty GOD will deal with his heart. The bible says that if you believe in him and obey his commandments that what ever you ask of him, it shall be given. Sometimes we get mad and discussed with GOD because we pray and pray but it seems our prayers don't get answered. Sometimes we think that we know whats best for our lives but GOD only knows what is really best. What ever may happen you have to accept that it is GOD'S will. I Trust that GOD will help you and bring you through this difficult time. I ill be praying for you.

God Bless