I have a friend named Frank who is married to a woman he doesn't love anymore, and she doesn't love him anymore either. They've been together for 10 yrs, and have a 7 y/o daughter. He stays with her because of his daughter, and he knows if he divorces her, she'll move far away and he won't see her anymore. So he stays for his daughter. Their relationship seems irretrievably broken, since she has cheated on him. He can't stand the thought of not seeing his daughter every day, and he can't stand the thought of continueing to live with a woman in a loveless marriage. What to do?
2007-06-21 09:22:41 · 24 answers · asked by cnjard 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First, children would rather be from a broken home, than live in one.
Second, He can still be a good dad if they divorce and he can petition the court not to allow her to move too far away.
2007-06-21 09:30:11 · answer #1 · answered by QT 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He has to learn to coexist with this woman and have his own special friend or divorce.
They both need marriage counseling in either case. He should also consult with an attorney on what his rights are as a father as his wife may not be able to move far away if the court decrees it. It is far better that he serves her with papers than the other way around.
A divorce is best in the long run for him and his child. He needs to keep a diary on his wife's activities and infidelity and hire a detective to document this as it will help tremendously in the divorce proceeding.
Good luck.
2007-06-21 16:39:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a lawyer and find out the laws on co parenting. Parents are not just allowed to run off any more denying access.
he could ask for full custody if he chooses... the law is more and more protective of children and ensuring ALL in break ups lloks after what is best for the children. If he is an involved and active dad, there isn't a court that would allow anything.
now ,,, mom could be a super biatch and that would be shameful. It needs to be managed.
Tell Frank he must talk to a lawyer and get his ducks in a row. He must also always ensures his daughter knows he loves her and would NEVER do anything negative. Mom could eventually pull crap and try stuff and kid has to not believe it.
2007-06-21 16:29:21 · answer #3 · answered by teritaur 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the wedding vows it says for better or for worse. period no exceptions. does he know why he doesnt love her anymore? is it because of the cheating or something else? as my minsiter once told my marriage class...if you dont love her anymore as a lover then love her as a wife. It's so hard for a man to get custody of a child so I can understand where he is coming from. But he has to think of what is best for the child. People give up so easily on thier marriages just because things start to go wrong. Maybe then can try counseling. Divorce should be the last resort....
2007-06-21 16:34:54 · answer #4 · answered by miss tab 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Children pick up on whatever dynamic is present in the home. Your friend may think he's doing his child a favor by staying in this marriage, but she sees how he interacts with his wife and will believe this to be a normal marriage. he would be better off ending the marriage and making custody arrangements. He and his wife will be happier and at this age, the daughter is old enough to understand and adapt to the situation.
2007-06-21 16:29:13 · answer #5 · answered by jazzviolin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a chance that Frank could try to get custody of his daughter? Perhaps if he had custody, her mom would stay closer. Her mom is the one who screwed around and broke up the marriage so why does he have to pay such a heavy price?
This is so sad. If you are Frank, I wish you the best.
2007-06-21 17:01:05 · answer #6 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to leave her. Legally, she cannot leave the state with their daughter unless the court has granted her full custody. These days, fathers are given a lot more child rghts then in the past. If they divorce, the daughter is old enough (if she is willing) to testify to whom she would want to make her primary residence. Staying together is only making it worse for the daughter. I wish your friend luck!
2007-06-21 16:33:21 · answer #7 · answered by lmphslaw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no right answer as either answer draws negative responses. Your friend really needs to make a choice and:
If he stays with the wife, suck it up and shut up - he's doing it for his daughter. However, from your description, I think she's going to divorce him soon anyway.
If he leaves he has to find a way to be okay with it. He has to ask himself if him and his wife hating each other is helping his daughter or hurting her. Unfortunately, sometimes it's just best to give up.
FP
2007-06-21 16:27:29 · answer #8 · answered by F. Perdurabo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know where you live, but in most of the states there is a limitation of how far the custodial parent may move away from the marital home. 100 miles is the norm. So I don't know why your friend thinks that his wife can move far away. If she wanted to move farther she would need his consent, or she would have to fight him in court and give an outstanding reason as to why she needs to move so far.
2007-06-21 16:35:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like a fine example of marriage for the 7 year old to grow up seeing and living!
!NOT!
It sounds like it is over and both of them should be mature enough to talk about this and realize they can't go on living like that, that it's time for a change to happen.
2007-06-21 16:37:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋