Should i have his baby?

Question

Hello, i'm a single parent and have a very successful job. Thing is, 2 years ago i was approached by a man whom i fell in love with... we love each other very much.
Problem is; he's married. Since he's got children too, he doesn't want to leave his wife - which i understand.
However, we recently decided to have a child together. I would live alone with our baby and my kid from an earlier marriage, he would visit us as much as possible.
He recently turned around to me and said: how am i gonna tell my kids that there is another brother/sister out there, brought into this world by another woman than their mother?
I think that's a very delicate question.
Should we still have a baby together?

Actually, i don't want a relationship nor marry the guy. I just want to have another child before i can't have any more children. My financial situation would permit that. The child would be very loved and well off.

Oh... and i didn't know he was married at first ;-)

Answer 1

I would say definitely not. There is nothing wrong with being a single parent if you can handle it responsibly, but why *choose* to give your child a part time father? His wife and children are ALWAYS going to come first and no child should ever have to suffer through being a second choice.

I know it is difficult to see because you are in love with this man. Love chooses us, but love really isn't always enough. This man may love you back, but do you really only need or want half of his heart?

Think long and hard about the decision you have at hand. Think of your future child and the kind of life he/she will have to lead. Your married man is taken, and not by you nor will he be by your child. He is not attached to you and could up and leave at anytime, especially if he finds his wife suspicious.

Life brings us crazy situations. Do what is best for your future! Hold out for love that truly loves you back!

Best of Luck!

Answer 2

I know I may be old fashioned, but it was wrong of you to have this relationship in the first place. He's MARRIED. The worst thing you can do now is bring a child into the chaos you have created. How can you say he loves you, when he goes home to another women every night. He's lying to you, and sweetheart, you are lying to yourself. You need to move on and find someone you can have a open, honest relationship with. Life is too short. Did you ever stop to think you're not the only "mistress". Once a cheater, always a cheater. Maybe his not wanting a baby with you, is his own fear of getting caught if he did. Good luck.....

Answer 3

1. Both of you are complete trash. This is just pathetic.

2. You must have a really low self image to allow yourself to be the "other woman". Do you not find yourself worthy enough to be number one in his life?

3. You are cheating your child out of a normal life. How dare you cheat this child out of having a father that can be there for him 100%??

4. If you want to live a gutter lifestyle, don't bring a child into it. I can't believe you even had to ask this question. Of course he would be fine with you having a child together because you're the one that has to raise it alone. I have never heard of something so utterly selfish in my life.

Answer 4

You shouldn't even be together let alone bring a baby into the world. You can't help who you fall in love with but you can control who you remain with. If he is staying with his wife for the children, he isn't doing anyone any favors, especially those kids, if he isn't happy they will pick up on it. someone is going to get very hurt out of this whole situation and if you bring a child into it how fair is it really to that child to know their daddy comes over occasionally. Eventually that child will find out why and when they do they are going to be heart broken. As for telling his other children if he does you and him will be exposed, children are very loyal to their mothers especially if they know dad is doing wrong.

Answer 5

You've got to be kidding me...

No offense, but you are an idiot. One day his wife WILL find out that you are sleeping with her HUSBAND and will probably want to knock your *** out.

DO YOU HAVE ANY MORALS?!

Second, this guy is a complete idiot. He wants to have a child with you while he is married to another woman?! You'd be no worse than he is.

The entire situation is so messed up. What kind of person are you?!

Find your own man. One who isn't married and who doesn't have severe mental problems like the dude you are sleeping with.

You should leave his ***, tell his wife what a cheating bastard he is and definately DON'T have his kid.

Answer 6

No! I understand you love him but why should you do this alone while he lives with his wife? He's only agreeing to make a baby to keep getting laid. Does his wife know? How would you feel if you were her, and he got someone else pregnant on purpose! This is very unfair to you, and unfair to this possible child. This child will be a "shame" to the rest of HIS family. (( Your very selfish to think that using him to have a baby is any better. How dare you knowingly bring a child into the world, without a father. To do is on purpose. It's not about you, what about the child? They have the right to a father ))

Answer 7

a million. Ryan Hunter Smyth, he proposes precisely a 12 months from after we met on the sea coast. 2. pink and white, we honeymoon in aruba. 3. 2 storys, 5 bedrooms, 4 bogs. enormous exterior with a pool. a popular indoors. 4. Matthew Asher 5. Scarlett Alexis and Ella Liyla 6. Daisy Elana 7. Ace Hayden 8. Gavin Daniel, Kaylie Emma, and Arianna Leah Matt Scarlett Ella Daisy Ace Gavin Kaylie Arianna

Answer 8

I can't believe what I am seeing. He's married and cheating on his wife and that's OK with you. Now you two decide that you want to have a baby together.. WHAT???? What will all these kids think of the people who call themselves their parents when they grow up and hear this story. Dad cheated on Ma.. had baby with mistress... One big happy family. I think not. Go find you own man. I feel bad for his wife and his kids.

Answer 9

i think the answer to this is a definate no,it is not fair on the child,meet someone single who you then can decide to have a child with,,,this man is nothing but a liar and cheat,think about his kids and what they would go through finding out they had a brother or sister elsewhere outside their family home xx

Answer 10

If you enjoy the thought of spending holidays alone and explaining to your child why daddy can't ever be with you on special occasions, then do it. Otherwise, find a single man who isn't deceitful as this guy. And if you're going to deny he's deceitful, how would you feel if you were his wife? Don't bring another child into this mess. Please?