My ex-husband has sole physical and legal custody of our 15 year old daughter. He moved due to job reasons and left her in his mother's care.
He has sold the home in which my daughter and her grandmother were staying.
I live in another state.
Now, the issue of where my daughter is going to live has to be decided.
My ex-husband has been leaving me voicemails and I have been deleting them.
I am thinking of calling him to see what the next steps are for my daughter.
I am open to have her come and stay with me. I don't know how open she is to that though.
The conversations with my ex-husband don't go very far because he is still focused on us getting back together.
I am unsure if I should call him or just let he and my daughter decide what they want to do.
I have let him know repeatedly that I am open to our daughter coming to stay with me.
2007-06-21 09:04:01 · 21 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, talk to him. The two of you should decide together what is best for your daughter.
2007-06-21 09:07:24 · answer #1 · answered by B B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take your ex out of the equation for a little bit and talk to your daughter first. She is 15 and it would be a good idea to take her feelings into consideration in this matter. For example, if she absolutely does not want to come live with you, then maybe that should not even be an option you and your ex discuss. What if she wants to stay right where she is now? The two of you do not need to let her decide, but if you take her feelings into consideration first, it may help make the decisions a lot easier. Also, you will be asking your daughters input and building a bridge there. In an indirect way, you will make her opinion important to you before you make a decision and she will know you care. I do not know the history between you and your daughter, but it seems strained from what you say here. Make her part of the solution and she will feel less like she was just dictated to where she was going. Good luck...
2007-06-21 16:13:32 · answer #2 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure why you don't have custody and he does. The kid is 15....she can pretty much decide on her own to where she would like to stay. BUT: don't offer her to come live with you if you aren't going to provide for her correctly or live a good example to her. Also, do not entertain anything related to you guys getting back together if you aren't willing. He needs to find someone that wants to be with him. Talk to HER about the move; not him.
2007-06-21 16:13:11 · answer #3 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know WHY or HOW he got full sole custody of your daughter. I wonder why there is even a question as to where she is going to live because obviously with him living out of state and having SOLE custody she would move with him unless he doesn't want her to. Do NOT call him, call your lawyer instead because something just doesn't sound right, why would a father sell a house his child was residing in out from under her? I don't like the sound of that.
2007-06-21 20:27:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I strongly agree with you on many points I am 18 raising my 13 year old brother My father and I are constantly at battle because I will not discuss my brother goin to stay with him but If my brother comes to me and ask to go Live with his father I would let him go (but that is not going to happen) so Let your daughter decide on the living arrangements and if you are not open to talk to your husband don't I know how you feel
2007-06-21 16:16:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not try talking to your daughter instead of to dad? Would that work? Will you need to see your lawyer and re negotiate yuor custody agreement and support letters?
Does she want to come back and live with you? The three of you should try talking together. There's a novel idea.
Focus on what your daughter wants and try and make it work as a separate but together family.
2007-06-21 16:13:27 · answer #6 · answered by teritaur 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any issue that involves your daughter is an issue to be discussed with your ex-husband, regardless of the custody situation. If he brings up reconciliation say no and bring teh conversation back to what is important, your daughter.
2007-06-21 16:09:14 · answer #7 · answered by Neka 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At her age you should be able to talk to her. See what her feelings are about this. You are her mother and should have a better relationship with her no matter where she lives. Why didnt' he take her with him? Both of you need to be PARENTS and I don't see any parenting going on here. He left her with his mother???? You say you are open to her coming to stay with you, but you don't know how she feels about it.. why not? Don't you two talk? You have told him repeatedly, but not her? He sold the house his mother and his daughter lived in... cold!! Where are they now.. on the streets? Get ahold of yourself and be a parent.
2007-06-21 16:16:39 · answer #8 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all you need to put yours and your husbands relationship seperate from your daughters. what ever your guys problem is has nothing to dowith her don't avoid your daughters well being because all he wants to talk about is the two of you getting back togather rise above that and let her know you are there for her/
2007-06-21 16:45:45 · answer #9 · answered by PAULINA S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be talking to your ex and your daughter, at least he is being an active parent. Maybe you should meet him half way.
Talking is a good first step
2007-06-21 16:15:25 · answer #10 · answered by Mama~peapod 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋