if your daughter had a diary with a lock on it,and she is the only one with a key.A girl calls your house that you do not know and she doesn't want to reveal her self.She is calling to let you know that your daughter has something very serious and important going on in her life and there is proof in that diary.After talking to your daughter you eventually let her know about the phone call.Your daughter starts to cry and says '' don't worry about it,i'll handle it''.And she does not want you to see what is in the diary.
Do you force her to show you the diary or let her handle her own problem on her own ?
2007-06-21 09:00:19 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I would be in that diary in a heart beat. If she is crying and upset about something she thinks she can " handle" then I need to be there for her and support her to get through this. What is curious here is how the phone person knows about this diary and what is in it.... and if she knows, how many other people know as well. Who else has seen the diary and also has an interest in it. As you know, a locksmith can open that little lock quite easily. But that would be foolish, because then you would have to explain how you got into the diary. You and your daughter need to sit down and read it together and then decide what the right course of action should be taken.
2007-06-21 09:09:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your job as a parent is to take care of your child. If i were you i would sit her down tell her you love her, and tell her that you trust her, but some things need to be handled by an adult. Give her three days to get the problem fixed and if it is not fixed by then, you need to step in and fix the problem yourself. Don't force her. There is a much easier way. Walk in and take it. Break the lock and find out whats going on. If you've got strange people calling your house and it has something to do with that diary, you have the right to step in and do what needs to be done for your child and if she catches an attitude, give her tough love. DON'T feel like a bad parent, you did what you needed to do to protect her. Remember she won't be mad at you forever even though she says she will. She WILL get over it!!!
2007-06-21 09:24:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her that it is your job to help her and you can see that she needs help. You shouldn't look in your daughters diary though, and tell her that you won't so she will trust you, but you do need to know whats going on so you can help. If she won't let you know, I wouldn't push it. You can already tell that this is hard for her and it sounds like she cant handle it on her own. If you start to get the idea that this is a problemb has to do with drugs or prostitution then you should read the diary, other wise just have her tell you.
good luck!
2007-06-21 09:12:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither one--I put my foot down and force her to tell what is going on!!
Tell her if she doesn't, then you WILL read her diary.
15 is far too young to deal with "very serious and important" things. Maybe she's a cutter or something..maybe she is PG or has an abusive boyfriend---her tears are the clue that she can NOT handle it herself.
2007-06-21 09:17:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should let her handle it. If she comes to you for help then help her in any way you can. A diary is private and if she feels like she doesn't have that privacy anymore she will feel violated. The phone call sounds a little strange, it might be someone that isn't really trying to help your daughter and is makeing things worse. If she were really trying to get her help she wouldnt mind telling you who she was.
2007-06-21 09:18:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well,i wouldn't force her to show me her diary but I would talk with her about it and let her handle it as she said but I would also keep an eye on her whitout her knowing .
I really hope that the secret she's hiding is not what I'm thinkin of.
Good luck!
2007-06-21 09:18:18 · answer #6 · answered by takoua d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was a teenager once and sometimes i didn't want to talk to my mom about anything that went out with my life in school or my friends. But i would be concern if someone call me to let me know she something was going on in her life, then i would really be worried because, a friend cares for her and want YOU the mom to know what is going on!. All you could really do is talk to her, dont read her diary, but watch her talk to her let her work things out on her own, and if she really needs your help let her know that you are there for her no matter what her situation is! support her in her decisions and be a friend more than a mom. sometimes thats all we really need is to know that mom is there if we need to reach out for her.!
2007-06-21 09:07:31 · answer #7 · answered by isabel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, tough. um my first reaction is to try talking to her again. tell her that if she can at least tell you what is going on you will do your best to let her handle it on her own unless she is in immediate, massive danger. something like a rape, or abuse, is every mother's fear. but i also know how painful teasing, bullying and rumors can be. if she refuses to let you at least know that she is safe, then i would basically put her on lock down (please, gimme a break, i'm only 19 but i am a mommy too ya know! i know how scared we get!) i would no TV, games, leaving home, phone, nada, but school and homework so that you can protect her she since won't let you help you might have to force her to let you protect her, she'll hate it but... not many other choices as i see it. if she refuses to tell me after a few days of lockdown i would force myself into the diary, it's not a reinforced titanium lock set in steel is it? then break the little thing open and PROTECT YOUR DAUGHTER!! she'll be mad, furious, but then you at least know what to do and how sever this is and what actions to take instead of shooting blind and only being able to hope she comes everday home everday
2007-06-21 09:48:32 · answer #8 · answered by PiX iE 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are the best dad to let your 15 year old teenager handle adult stuff on her own. God knows she's lived enough life experience to handle anything . . .NOT!
Of course get it out of her. She don't trust you know, she doesn't believe you can handle it, but some how in her young foolish mind she can.
One of her friends called to tell you she needs help, that is desparate. Get involved. Don't ket anyone, especially your kids, undermine your authority as dad at home.
2007-06-21 09:16:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs to fess up or give you the book. Don't let her handle it alone, depending on what it is, making her deal with it could be traumatic. She needs a parent who cares enough to butt in. She isn't an adult yet, she earns her privacy when she turns 18 and moves out. Now, you make the rules. Ask certain questions, such as: Does it involve something illegal? Could it harm her health in any way?
2007-06-21 09:06:34 · answer #10 · answered by TW 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋