I'm 17 years old and I just had a baby 5 days ago. My grandpa lives w/ us & so does my sis (she's 4). My mom lied to the both of them and didnt tell them it was my baby, she said the bby was 1 month old and she adopted the bby from her friend. so basically since she lied shes telling me not to show any attachment towards the bby and to not act like the babys mom in ANY way. so whenever my sis or gpa are home she doesnt let me care for the bby or hold my baby. she also said that when i get my checks from welfare that she'll be taking $100 or more from them, could she do all this to me?!
i need help, i live in california and i dont know what the laws are here for teen moms. please help me find a way out or give me any website or hotlines that can help.
would going to the police be a good idea? and what do i tell them?
2007-06-21 08:58:45 · 17 answers · asked by kjhk 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
She also told me in order for HER to keep this whole thing a secret she doesnt want the bby to know im its mother until im in my 20's. that completely shattered me and i got completely emotional. it hurts alot b/c i want to be able to spend time w/ my bby like a mommy should. and i cant talk to my mom about all this b/c she wont listen and shes a very stubborn person & she'll just react angry.
I just dont think i could stand living with her anymore b/c all my life shes lied about the most dumbest things, and that obviously means she wont change. can anyone help me out please?
2007-06-21 09:00:23 · update #1
She cannot do this to you.
I have alot of ideas for this, but I do not want to lead you in the wrong direction as I cannot say for certain on alot of details.
I would contact the welfare for help or http://www.familypact.org/
Health department would be your best bet if these get you nowhere.
Your situation is very unfortunate. I wish you the best.
2007-06-21 09:06:43 · answer #1 · answered by TzaGear 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are the mother end of story. You don't need to pretend to be anything other then what you are. I guess she doesn't want them to know that your the mother because your young. But don't let her do this to you. You are now responsible for your child not your mother. She has no rights to your child since you gave her none. And you surely don't need to give her any money. If you need to then go to the police or take your baby and go elsewhere if she doesn't allow you to be a mother to your child. Go to welfare where your recieving checks. They can get you some housing help if it comes to that. If your mom is acting out of line you can also call the cops. Maybe get an order on her. She shouldn't be doing this to you it isn't her child and your practically an adult. Tell your grandpa to help by telling him your situation if you can't confide in your own family... Talk to another adult. Maybe someone from your school. A parent of your friends. The law... Welfare... Anyone who will listen.
2007-06-21 16:06:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find a Planned Parenthood near you. If you can go in and visit, do that. If not, find a safe time to call them.
That is a very unfortunate situation and it is not fair to you or your child or any of your family to keep a secret like that. It sounds like your mom is ashamed that you had a child so early. For a peaceful resolution, I think the both of you should talk to a counselor or mediator so that she sees it's nothing to be ashamed of, that mistakes happen and that it would be more shameful to hide the truth from your child and family.
Anyway, find a planned parenthood. They will talk to you for free and will know who you can go to for professional help with the situation. I think this will be more peaceful than calling the police first.
Good luck. Don't ever let someone keep you from loving your baby.
2007-06-21 16:07:21 · answer #3 · answered by agarovoy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO your Mom has no right to your money or your baby! Call around and find a women's shelter you can stay at til you find something better! Go to a relatives house, just get out of there! You don't have to do what she says, it's your baby! What's she going to do if you hold it while your Grandpa is home??? You need to tell your Grandpa and your sister the truth! Then what's she going to do?? I think your Mom is crazy!!
2007-06-21 16:05:55 · answer #4 · answered by wish I were 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may need a social worker. And there are homes for teen moms. It would a tough start but you can do it. If you are serious about being mom it is time to start fighting for your baby. If you can't you are not ready to be the baby's mother and you may want to talk to a social worker about placing the baby up for adoption. I know that sounds harsh. Start in your phone book and look for help.
2007-06-21 16:09:35 · answer #5 · answered by dmjrev 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the child's mother. And yes, get attached and show attachment. You can damage a child forever with attachment disorders and other issues! Bond with your child, and if you have to, go to a shelter to get her out of your hair. Also call DSS and see what services they can offer as it sounds like she wants to be the mother!
Document everything in writing everyday! That will be your best defense someday.
The police are not going to be much help, but their are others that can!
2007-06-21 16:05:55 · answer #6 · answered by cantcu 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, first of all, your gramps never noticed you were pregnant?
NO, she can not do that to you, that baby is legally yours, even if you are only 17. It is YOUR child, and she can NOT legally make it hers without YOU signing papers saying your letting her adopt it.
I think you need to go to the welfare office, tell you case worker she is taking you money, and what she is saying about the baby. Your case worker can help you.
2007-06-21 16:03:07 · answer #7 · answered by sweetie_baby 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
look i'm a cop in georgia and no she can't do that you can call the police or just tell her to back off and tell your grandfather and sister yourself. But I would call the police there are all types of programs out there for single teen moms. so just let them know. AND IT IS VERY MUCH AGINST THE LAW FOR HER TO TAKE YOU WALFARE CHECK. SO LET THE POLICE TAKE CARE OF IT.
2007-06-21 16:07:18 · answer #8 · answered by UGA go dawgs 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell your grandpa so he knows anyway{unless that'll cause problems}. I don't think it needs to be kept a secret. Lying is wrong. I think if you're 20-? when you tell your baby, it might cause problems. She could think you don't love her and that's why you never took care of her. If all else fails, just talk to your mom.
2007-06-21 16:09:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the police. You have a right to parent your child. You have a complicated legal problem and do not want to screw up your rights to custody. You may also contact a family law attorney, most will likely not charge you for an initial consultation.
2007-06-21 16:03:41 · answer #10 · answered by Yestheyrefake 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋