If your daughter says she hates you , what would be your reaction and why?

Answer 1

It might even be a good sign. Why? Because when a child can and does dare to say this she believes deep down that the parent loves her and will not stop loving her only because she gets very angry and is hurt and rude. I believe that it is very normal in many households for a parent to hear this at least once. I have heard it often. My son is 8, and I know he loves me. Sometimes I get angry at him and then he gets angry at me. But we can talk and he tells me about his feelings and his thoughts.

Children need to listen to their parents and obey, that is why it is so natural for them to become frustrated sometimes. I still can remember those times myself. Especially at the age when it is time to become adult, be independent and start making your own decicions. I think this is the time when daughters are more prone to "hating" their dads, since for some strange reasons daughters are often granted less freedom and privacy than sons.

If your daughter tells you she hates you and she really means that the next day still, I think you should do some soul searching.

Answer 2

It seems that in nowadays ,that phrase has became part of the teenager's daily vocabulary. They always have someone or something to hate.
I think that most of the time they don't mean it. Now if my daughter says that to me, I'll sit with her and try to get her to explain to me why she hates me. She might be really upset at me for a valid reason and goes right away to the extreme reaction ( hate). In that case if I'm wrong I'll apologize , and explain to her that she was overreacting.
If it is a general statement, as she hates me for who I am etc... than the problem gets a little more delicate and requires perhaps professional help.
And any-case, I'll not answer hate by hate. We'll have to figure out our differences.

Answer 3

She is trying to make you feel bad. I am thinking that she wants something really bad and you said NO. Which is the right thing to say. Letting your child get and do what ever she wants will destroy her. Kids cannot figure out the right things to do all the time. So an adult must step in and put down there foot sometimes. To get back at them the child will say something like what you daughter did. Simply say I already told you my answer and if you say another word you will be grounded.

Answer 4

I don't have a daughter, but I am a daughter, so I can say I have told my mother I hated her when I was a teenager. Of course I didn't mean it but it is said out of anger, frustration, and feeling like parents just don't understand. Standard teenager emotions.
So I suppose if I had a daughter who told me she hated me, I would still hold my ground and not give in to let her have whatever she wanted.. but at the same time offer to talk things out and simply try to understand?

Answer 5

Unfortunately I said this a few times to my mom, and looking back I remember saying it because I was confused and dealing with emerging hormones, wanting independance, and growing up. It would be hurtful hearing your daughter say this, but it would make me so empathetic toward all the mixed up stuff going on in her body.
These words are usually blurted out when they're not getting their way, which is hard, because the parent feels like the bad guy!
You gotta stick to your guns, talk when they pretend they're not listening, and look forward to when they get older and appreciate your parenting and guidance!

Answer 6

It would be the same as my mother's reaction when I said it to her. "You can think that, but don't you dare say it. I've said it before and I'll say it again, when you hate someone that is the same thing as saying you wish them dead, and we don't wish anyone dead. You can say, 'You very much dislike me,' but don't ever let me hear that you say you 'hate' someone. Got it?" At that point I sulked, but I knew NEVER ever to say that I hated her or anyone else ever again.

In my mom's book the word "hate" is "fighting words." Just like calling someone a "liar" is "fighting words." To my mom, if you say you hate someone that means that you feel like killing them, and we don't kill people.

So I would most likely do what my mom did, and tell my daughter she can think it, but don't say it, and if you say anything, say you extremely dislike someone. And I'd tell her she could extremely dislike me all she wanted, but that I was not going to relent and do whatever it was she (the daughter) wanted, because I was/am the mother, and what I say goes, because I have your best interest at heart. And that I wouldn't discuss it any further.

Answer 7

One of the many choices you have when raising children is: Are you their parent or their friend? If you want to be their friend they may not hate you but they will never respect you. Be a parent. So what if your daughter tells you she hates you. As long as she does what you tell her to and sometimes listens to your advise you are succeeding in parenthood. One thing is constant with children, they are always changing. You must remain constant.

Answer 8

My first question is how old is your daughter? Every kid goes through a phase where they hate their parents, but they NEVER actually mean it. You need to remember that you are the parent and ultimately in control. Send her to her room to cool down, and then talk to her. Let her know how it makes you feel, and why she shouldn't say that. Age does make a difference here so make sure its a conversation thats on her level. Hope this helps and that you work things out.

Answer 9

When my daughter told me she hated me, I told her that when she spoke and acted like that, I hated her and turned away and left the room. She was speechless and later came and apologized. She was hurt and I told her about words being weapons and to be very careful how she used them. That scenario never came up again.

Answer 10

If, I was a parant, A mother, And my daughter told me she hated me, my reaction would be disapointment. Because she has no right to, "hate" me. She has no reason. I only want the best for her and I get a "I hate you". I would have consiquences just to show her and I would talk with her to make her a brighter person.