Do You Agree With The "Everyone's A Winner" Concept For Kid Contests?

Question

Going back to my childhood, every childhood contest I was involved with whether it was for school, sports, Boy Scouts, treated it as the "everyone's a winner" concept. Every kid was declared a prize and there was no "winners" and "losers".

Now the question is why bother having a competition where everyone will turn out the winner? In my younger adulthood now I don't necessarily agree with this because i feel it is good to show your kids that not everyone excels in everything that they do and to learn the concept of accepting defeat. If you win at everything you attempt you wouldn't know how to accept defeat as you get older, respectfully.

How do you other parents feel on the "everyone's a winner" thing being used?

Answer 1

this concept would be great if we lived in a utopia where everyone is equal, but sadly, we don't. I believe a little competition should be encouraged at athletic events and such. kids should be taught that if you wanna win, you're gonna have to put in some effort. The problem is with the parents that drive their kids to believe that it's not ok to lose

Answer 2

I like it ok for some things, especially when effort does not matter. I don't like it for other things. Kids still need to learn how to compete and deal with disappointment. If they don't, it will be difficult for them when they are older. A better idea is this: DO have a winner and a loser. But still give out prizes to the "losers." Kids deserve to be rewarded for their effort so they know that hard work and perserverance will be rewarded, win or lose. But contending with winning and losing is still important. Making all contests and sports an "everyone's a winner" thing basically just makes the games dull, and doesn't really teach kids anything.

Answer 3

I agree with you. How can a child develope to know his strengths and weaknesses if he's told he's good at everything? That's an unrealistic assessment of anyone, adults included and, like you said, how is a child supposed to be prepared for real life, later?

Losing, sometimes, is an unavoidable fact of life. Learning to accept defeats and set backs, graciously and accepting them as a part of life is essential in a child's development. I think the rise of depression among young people can be tied, directly, to being unprepared for the moments in life when things don't go right. There are times when things don't go your way and sometimes, you have to assess your actions and see what went wrong. These should be times to learn, adapt and correct, but it seems many young people these days are crushed, not motivated to improve. I think that stems from the unrealistic expectations created by the "everyone's a winner" philosophy. The reality is that some are winners in some areas, some in others. Very few are winners in everything and there's a danger in creating that false impression in the minds of our kids. It leaves them unprepared to lose.

Life is competitive to varying degrees in a variety of areas. Competition by its nature means there is a winner and a loser. What's the value in winning if it isn't special? If everyone is considered equal?

When I was in Boy Scouts, for example, competions held rewards for the winner. Why should I try to excel at knot tying when I win and get the same acknowledgement as the guy who doesn't know a boline from a sheepshank? I studied, learned and practiced my knots so I could excel, but my efforts wouldn't mean much, would they, if they brought the same recognition as the guys who were awful? By refusing to recognize that we're not all equal, not all winners, we're depriving the acheivers of recognition for their accomplishments. We're also, subtely, saying that's it OK to lose and that's a message we shouldn't be repeating too often.

Answer 4

It depends on the contest and the age of the contestants, but overall, I think it's a bad concept because it fosters an attitude of entitlement. Life itself is unfair and when kids grow up and move into the workplace and find out that breaks and opportunities are handed out to those who earn them, it's a rude awakening that many can't deal with. While childhood should be enjoyed, I believe it should also train children for life in the grown-up world and nowadays, it doesn't.

Answer 5

I believe that for younger children, probably before age 7 or 8, the "everyone's a winner" concept is preferable because at that age what is most important is that they have a healthy level of self-esteem, pride in their accomplishments, and sense of self-worth. Contests at that age, understandably, aren't about level of skill so the value of them is how they make the child feel.

As the child gets older, though, I do believe that the contests should be actual contests because when they do enter the real world, the person who gets the promotion or project is the person who worked the hardest and "won" their place fairly. That is an important concept to learn not only so people know how to handle and accept defeat but also so they know how to evaluate their own level of talent or work and make adjustments if they did not land where they wanted to.

I guess I missed the "everyone's a winner" phase. Even when I was 4 and 5, there were winners and losers at softball games and sparring at karate class. In fact, it was because I was so easily defeated during a sparring match at that age that made me rethink whether I actually wanted to be in karate or not because I did not show enough aptitude (or discipline) for the art. I decided to refocus my attention to softball instead where I did show an aptitude and talent.

Failure can be a very good teacher and it does not necessarily have to be a completely and utterly destroying concept to the child as long as they have several things in their life that makes them feel good about who they are. It is important to learn that not everyone is good at everything and that they need to evaluate what they are good at and choose to do those things that both make them happy and for which they show a talent for.

Just my feelings. If I had a young child, I would probably opt to put them in those soccer leagues where everyone gets to play to learn how to work with other people as a part of a team but I would also enroll them in other classes and sports they were interested in where there are clearly defined winners and losers, especially as they got older.
Peace,
Jenn

Answer 6

Seems like it's a hard balance. Either you have the "everyone is a winner" dilution, or there is this huge emphasis on who the actual winner of the competition is, and everyone else feels insignificant. Some kids will NEVER win, but they still should get some kind of boost for the fact that they are participating.

Answer 7

Everyone's a winner concept is basically lying to your child. It sets them up for failure. It teaches it is one way, then rips the rug out from under them! It is wrong! But where does this madness end? should we start padding ACT and SAT scores so no one has their feeligs hurt? Should we end spelling bee's to save self esteem? Maybe we should dress all children alike, give them only toys approved by a governing counsel and no jewlry because the poorer students have feelings too. Should all parents be forced to drive Ford Pinto's as to not hurt he feelings those families who can't afford Denalis and Subburbans? Starting down this road is a danderous, not progessive! It can only end in failure. And this is our future we are toying with! Everyone's a winner is a losing concept.

Answer 8

You are a winner in one respect for just trying, but I think the "everyone's a winner" concept takes the glory from the "truly talented" kids. When one of my kids came home with a "winner ribbon", and did not really win, he through it in the trash the next day!

Answer 9

The everyone's a winner attitude does not prepare kids for life's disappointments. Children need to experience loss to learn how to persevere. Whoever thought that up is a loser!

Answer 10

For one thing kids need to learn that games are made up of rules and its the rules that make it fun.
when a child finds a game they like and understands all the rules losing wont make them feel like a loser.
Because they will understand its a game.
Kids who are raised on the"everyone's a winner" concept fail to understand games. And dont enjoy real games when the grow up. most likely playing computer games instead.