Why do people believe that if they don't have sex before marriage that their marriage will suck?

Question

I mean really? Where the heck do they get that from? I have never EVER heard of a couple whose marriage failed because they didn't "check" to see if they are "sexually compatible" first.

Wow. Fast answers. Some pretty blinding ignorance out there though... like "got to try the milk before buying the cow" - why buy the cow if the milk is free? Another pathetic attempt was the one accusing me of being a virgin. In fact, I'm not and that has nothing to do with the question. But perhaps the highlight so far is the contention by several of you that "if the sex is crap then the marriage will fall apart". Has it occurred to you that EVERYONE is bad at sex the first time they try it? Did you simply pick up your bike and start riding? I mean, geez! Ya think that if you perhaps have bad sex at first, practice makes perfect? Who says you have to be bingo bango orgasmic the moment you and your partner get busy? Maybe all you need is a little practice - and that CAN always be done while you are married you know. Lameo excuse. Do better please.

Answer 1

people have no self control

Answer 2

This is one of the reasons people get cheated on all the time. They don't want the same things sexually. A terrible sex life will destroy---annihilate a relationship.

Sex is a huge part of happiness in a relationship. Knowing each other and knowing what makes your partner happy is important.

If a man has a huge sex drive and his wife wants sex once a month, there is going to be a conflict. They can't just change that over night without making someone unhappy.

Sex is not the most important thing in the world, but people are always trying to undermine how crucial it is in a relationship. These are the usually the people that aren't having amazing sex with their partner.


Edit: Well Mr. Cheevus, here's the thing, if you marry a person and the sex doesn't work--you have to get divorced. If you're dating a person and it doesn't work, you can break up.
It's not just quality of sex, quantity is an issue for A LOT of people. What if people don't want the same amount of sex?
What if one person wants anal and the other doesn't? What if one likes oral and the other doesn't? There are just too many options. People can love each other all damn day long but that doesn't mean they will agree.

Answer 3

I don't know.

My husband and I waited until marriage and it is *** WON - DER- FULLLLL *** !!!! And neither of us were virgins either.

I couldn't have waited for a better partner. We figured if we honored our belief that God brought us together by honoring God by waiting, God would see to it that we were not disappointed in our s*ex lives. In other words, we gave God want He wanted and He gave us more than we could ever ask.

And it turns out we were right. Of course, it also helps that our relationship has never been based on S*ex.

******* And for all of you comparing people to cars and cows-- do better. People are people and cows and cars have nothing to do with deciding to honor each other in some way (or God and each other in mine and my husband's case) and it is not a bad thing.

I was absolutely elated when my husband also wanted to wait (and HE initiated that coversation).

Answer 4

That's because they don't announce that it is one of the reasons for the divorce. It is not as rare as you think.

Not too many want to be married to a dud or a jackhammer.

My personal experience: When I finally insisted, my fiance turned out to have ED. He claimed it was caused by a vasectomy (that he didn't tell me about). He was history before the evening was over. One of my friends divorced her husband because she decided once or twice a month wasn't enough and she wasn't willing to just have an affair.

Answer 5

I absolutely agree with you. My wife was a virgin when we married and our sex is phenomenal.

Not only that, but it doesnt' take long to get the hang of things. If you're worried about inexperience, give your partner a few weeks and it will come.

Not worth dumping someone over.

Answer 6

Virginity is highly overrated. I was married when I was 29. At that age, the last thing I wanted to do was teach a grown woman how to f**k. I'm definitely in the "test drive the car before buying" camp.

Sexual compatibility is important and I have found that in my marriage, the fact that we have both had sexual relationships in the past has helped us both deal with each other. We have both learned from the mistakes we made in the past. And we both have learned a few nifty tricks in the bedroom.

I also believe that our sexual pasts have made us both more mature.

Your mileage may vary.

Answer 7

I think that people are stuck on the theory Test drive the car before you buy.
More marriages end because of sex, or money.

Answer 8

Because some people have no idea what marriage or sex is really all about.

Good sex can be learned and shared together.....that's when it's called "making love".

Answer 9

If by failing you mean divorce, you are quite right.

Those marriages may not fail, but ask them if they are truly happy. Better yet, ask them if they've ever cheated. I bet your answers would be a resounding yes all the way around.

Answer 10

And if they do it will work out fabulously, yes, this is stupid, you can't really base something like marriage on one thing, however sex is an important part of marriage, so if that doesn't work?????

Answer 11

test drive a car before you buy it. but if your not that picky and all the parts work... hop right in heres your new car. rev her up take her for a ride.... oh wait it only last five minutes. okay stop put some oil in her, warm it up now, gas break dip, now slide, put your stunna shades on. c'mon baby you can start you can start. oh you dont want to go for a ride oh you think rides arernt fun. i waited my whole life for a car....