Why is it that men seem far more reluctant to admit bisexuality than women?

Question

Now, I'll admit that I'm being a bit of a hypocrite here. On Yahoo! Answers I'm all for honesty about my sex life, but in the real world I'm pretty closeted about it. I think, however, that is the way most people are: they'll say things online they never would in real life. What I'm asking about, though, is the online disclosure. It seems that a lot of women on here are very open about bisexuality, and there are a lot of men who admit to being gay, but as far as admitting bisexuality, I haven't seen that many men. In fact, on the questions I've answered that pertain to bisexuality, I think I'm the only man admitting to it. I would think that the anonymity of being online would provide the necessary discretion to prevent any embarrassment, so what's the reason?

Answer 1

It's because bisexuality for females is more socially acceptable. In turn, I think this is largely because showing some degree of sensuality between women (even if the women are completely straight) is more acceptable.

It's "OK" for two women to kiss each other on the cheek, or to share clothes, or to rollerskate together hand in hand, etc. Again, these aren't sexual, but I do think the social acceptance of certain degrees of intimacy adds to it.

And since the bogus notion has come up: no, bisexuals are not inherently "indecisive". Some people are coffee drinkers, some people are tea drinkers, and some are simply both. I don't see the logic in saying one "must" choose and stick to one. And taste of course has nothing to do with appetite.

Answer 2

There is many reasons for this Mr. Jack. Part of it is how someone is feeling and part is society.

Society first. It has become a social norm to accept two woman together, as long as the are not manly lesbians, by many people. It is considered a fantasy and it is totally exploited. There are many guys out there who wish their woman was bi. Then come down to it, it is just a fantasy for them and they prefer it in a movie. Men don't get this same thing. Two men together is critcized by so many men and so many woman. So it hides a man that is bi-sexual from being himself. Just like being gay, you generally hide first then accept yourself later when you get to a point where you can't hide anymore. When you are gay and come out you are only making one choice. When you are bi and come out, you are really confusing a lot of people and how to explain that to them. They can't understand. Even if it is something they feel inside.

The other thing I think too is that a lot of gay men say they are bi because they have not accepted the fact that they are gay yet. Not saying this is your case. They have a little saying. Bi today gay tomorrow. LOL. In a lot instances this is the case. The are still holding on to a little bit of the straight world. Eventually they become comfortable with themselves and open up and come out.

I think there are truely bi, str8 and gay people. I had a professor in college say it was like this. 10% is born straight, 10% is born gay and everyone else is inbetween. Some more straight, some more gay. I thought he was incredibly correct. I have had straight friends that would never ever be gay or kiss a guy, but they wanted things from me. That does not make them bi or gay. It all just depends. It is such an open world. Bless you for being able to be you. I think too many deny themselves.

Answer 3

The way that most men were raised they would never admit to being Bi because that would mean they have a little gay in them, and most men think they are less of a man if they admit to that. A woman don't have the same hang ups that men do.

Answer 4

Because there is this stereotype that a girl who's willing to be with another girl, will do that in a threesome with a guy too. So therefore girl+girl is a good thing and nobody minds it much. (especially in the eyes of hopeful guys).

However, two guys on one another is considered horrible, disgraceful, disgusting and not manly.

I guess it's just public stereotypes. People give girls less grief when they come out, so they're more ready to be open about it.

Answer 5

I think for a lot of men it's fear of their sexuality and when they see two women getting it on it's hot. I also think that men are more close minded then women in general. I don't know many guys any for that matter including myself that would admit to being bi or bi curious to their Friends.

Answer 6

because for a man to like a man is less accepted by our society

so some men feel insecure
also many feel it will make them less man to be gay or bi


like woman on woman action is encouraged
but when we see two men together in the media, its for comedy, and many people feel gross just watching it


i think that's why its harder for men to admit bisexuality or homosexuality

Answer 7

We live in a male dominated society, and with the exception of the military, women are allowed by the male society to not conform.

But men are held by other men to a higher standard, and the pressure of this standard of conformity is internalized by gay and bisexual men.

Gay and bisexual men fear the rejection and violence of the majority of heterosexual men. Consequently they avoid offending the dominant majority, at most times.

Heterosexual men have constructions of their own masculinity which are not psychologically stable, based upon ideals of masculinity which are not real, but are instead invented to satisfy other cultural values.

Consequently, heterosexual men are taught to hate themselves if they behave in a human way, by crying, feeling sensitive, or other 'female' qualities.

This crazy pressure on heterosexual men causes them to internalize a lot of frustration and anger, but they cannot see a way to escape their macho trap.

When they get very frustrated, they attack their wives or other men, like gays or bi's, to vent their frustration.

Also, gay and bi men remind heterosexual men that all men are human first, and male second. This offends and threatens the fragile and poorly-constructed egos of these straight men, and the react with violence or scorn toward the gays and bi men.

Answer 8

My boyfriend is bisexual and he says it's harder because men have a lot of pressure on them to be as manly as they can be, when you are quite effeminate and want to experiment with both genders it can be hard because people assume you are gay. Also guys are stereotyping bisexual girls as "hot and easy" but girls don't think of bisexual guys like that at all, the opposite if anything. I've lost count of how many female friends have said to be "how can you go with him knowing he fancies boys"...to me that's stupid and irrelevant but it seems to be a real issue for some girls. One of my friends even refered to it as "disgusting". It's upsetting for me to have to listen to their judgements so it must be really hard to hear that sort of crap if you are a bisexual man.

Answer 9

To admit anything to them would seem like a sign of weakness but men are very quite about anything doing with sexuality.

Answer 10

The gay men I know, have told me they don't believe there is such a thing as a bisexual man. Either you are gay or you are straight. I wouldn't know for sure, but that's what I've been told. Interesting question, though.............