Ok, I just finished posting one question about how my ex-wife handles our kids' bedtimes at her place but let me try another one now. My ex and I are tired together for life because we have 2 kids, ages 6 and 10. She holds a lot of resentment towards me because of how our lives have turned out. I think she is genuinely unhappy with herself and her own life so she takes it out on me whenever she has a chance. Our 50-50 custody has always been around her work and school schedule and I have done many things to try to help her when she asks. However, the fact remains that if I bring up an issue of how she is doing something it becomes a fight. She seems to be more of the emotional one and I deal with more of the facts. Example, she said she does more driving when it comes to getting the kids to me. I mapped how much driving we do and it turned out that I was actually putting in about 50 miles more per week than she. So, how do we mediate these problems without an attorney?
2007-06-21 07:18:22 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just do whatever is best for the kids, and don't get into petty arguments about things that don't promote the children's welfare and wellbeing.
If I was a divorced woman with 2 kids under the age of 10, I'd be sad, disappointed, angry, unhappy and resentful too. What mother wants to bring her kids to visit their own father?
2007-06-21 07:24:01 · answer #1 · answered by Sabine É 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You answered it yourself. Get a good family law mediator or even a good family counselor. Your issues are common and it sounds like you just need to be refocused on the fact that you both are striving to give your kids a good life. It sounds like you both got off track a bit in that now you are focused on each other's "haves and have nots", instead of how to make it work for your kids. Also, if you know that she is just taking stuff out on you because she is unhappy with her own life, try not to react but let it wash over you. You two are getting hooked back into the old arguments you had when married!
2007-06-21 07:26:34 · answer #2 · answered by Rooty tooty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot use logic with this woman, she has shown that she is incapable of thinking in this manner. She is operating out of emotions, and there is NO way to have her get a grip. Her life will always be one of misery, for those who operate out of emotions are always "all about me." If you do not like how she is treating the children, If you do NOT approve of the way she is raising the children AND have very real proof that she is detrimental in their lives, then you will have to go to court to gain full custody. And that will cost money, no matter how you look at it. Sorry you made a poor choice of mates long ago, but you did, and now you must pay the price, one way or another. As far as mediation goes, she will never understand anything that is not entirely her way. Good luck and peace
2007-06-21 07:26:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoever wants the kids, should pick them up. And tell her to deal with it. Sounds like she walks on you because you let her to appease her a little. to avoid a fight. Just don't fight with her. If she starts a fight, promptly leave. And quit helping if shes just gonna be a b*i *t *ch. I have been an ex wife, and know she does it, because she can. I bet you bend over backwards and give her money whenever she asks for it. Tell her next time she complains about something that you would be happy to keep the kids full time if it is too much for her or too expensive.
2007-06-21 07:30:26 · answer #4 · answered by spidermonkeyfingers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just grow up when the kids are with her they follow her rules, when they are with you they are to follow yours. If you just leave it at that then there are no reasons to get into arguments. Remember yes they are your kids together but they are being shared in a custody situation, it is hard enough on these kids going to different homes all the time then having mommy and daddy acting like a couple of spoiled brats on top of everything.
PLEASE GROW UP BE A ROLE MODEL FOR YOUR KIDS NOT A DUMBA SS!
2007-06-21 07:28:48 · answer #5 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow up, both of you. It takes two to fight. Comeone big guy. Quit being a baby and just let it go. Be a man, and not a boy.
They kids will be better off if you just be the best father you can be. Quit fighting with their mother.
Quit being a child, and quit bringing up issues. Do your part and leave her alone, Are you some kind of idiot control freek
2007-06-21 07:23:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try not to fight. You should meet half way. If she drop kids off to you, you should send them back. That's how I deal with my ex. Try to keep conversation sweet and short, don't tell her what she should do or she shouldn't do. It's out of your hand now. That's why she's your ex. Give a lot of love to your kid and teach them the way you want to teach them when they were with you. But you don't need to teach your ex-wife or tell her what she should do. That what I hate the most when my ex tried to do that with me.
2007-06-21 07:27:08 · answer #7 · answered by Penny 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If one party is not willing to communicate without getting offended, then doing it without some sort of mediation is not going to work.
Have you thought of just going to a counselor as a mediator?
2007-06-21 07:22:30 · answer #8 · answered by KV 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
buss her upside the head with a baguette and tell her stop being a jackass
seriously though whats wrong with the way her life has turned out??? she has 2 loving kids. or did she get fat and old?? how old is she
2007-06-21 07:24:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
easy.....just choke that beyotch!!! haha just kiddin. no, she needs to be 50/50.
2007-06-21 08:20:18 · answer #10 · answered by sonyanjoey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋