is the quickest way to a mans heart?
2007-06-21 07:11:39 · 29 answers · asked by Jon C 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Facts you never knew about Chuck Norris:
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard
that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in
time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying
over the Pacific Ocean.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead
decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb.
Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from
cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to
the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries
the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He
always makes it to Oregon before you.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was
finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his
soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't
stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned
beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in
time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot,
Chuck met all three bullets with his
beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of
sheer amazement.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck
Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot
in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas
Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing
Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was
far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it
was divided.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris
smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and
aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them
from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that,
Lance Armstrong.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby
Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to
his dying day. The other Wisemen,
jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their
combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the
Bible. Shortly after all three died of
roundhouse kick related deaths.
Chuck Norris has yet to get a Jeopardy question wrong.
Jesus has missed two.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply
pointing at her and saying "booya".
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck
Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his
finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse
every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and **** on their
floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and
Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop
the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the
alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It
was more "humane".
Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever
that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to
make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you
can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as
hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I
already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.
Chuck Norris once pulled a bus full of school children
teetering over the edge of a cliff back onto the road with his bare
hands, saving everybody inside. Even as they cheered, he screamed,
"I'm not your savior!" and headbutted the bus over the
edge, sending them all to their horrible doom.
2007-06-21 07:15:36 · answer #1 · answered by pa 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You mean, of course, in the same sense that either a good meal, loving sports, great sex life would be the quickest way to a man's heart, in addition to admiring Chuck for being a 100% real man and great role model.
2007-06-21 07:25:48 · answer #2 · answered by Adios 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris, the Delta Force Chuck Norris, or are they both the same? (That is, if you aren't attacked by ninjas on the way to a man's heart.)
Love the hat, by the way.
2007-06-21 07:17:39 · answer #3 · answered by m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
chuck norris
2016-05-17 04:05:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you know that Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
2007-06-21 07:13:46 · answer #5 · answered by tabby90 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I did, however there's nothing that Chuck Norris can do that wouldn't surprise me. His powers are limitless and Chuck himself is only beginning to scratch the surface of his potential
2007-06-21 07:15:36 · answer #6 · answered by DOC 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
no, but did you know Chuck Norris actually lives in a round house?
2007-06-21 07:13:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
yes because chuck norris can kick some serious texas bad guy a**!!!
2007-06-21 12:10:27 · answer #8 · answered by kaleo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His tears also cure cancer...too bad norris never cries
2007-06-21 07:14:46 · answer #9 · answered by Scratchy_Joe 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
kids all over the world wear superman pajamas...superman wears chuck norris pajamas
2007-06-21 07:15:27 · answer #10 · answered by Ansley119 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋