What do you all make of this situation?

Question

Ok this is both frustrating & embarrasing for me at the same time. Here's the deal. My mom & Dad got a divorce a couple years ago (she wanted the divorce - she was having an affair at work). Anyway, they got a divorce but she still goes back to my Dad when she needs money or is in some sort of financial trouble. My Dad keeps taking her back even tho she treats him like a bank and not like a husband. Well that's not really what bugs me, I mean they're both grownups and I say let them deal with their problems / relationship. Here's what gets me. My mom always stares at my husband. She'll be talking to me, but instead of looking at me while she's doing it, she will be looking at him. Not just looking at him, staring at him. She has done this since my husbad and I were boyfriend and girlfriend and it really irritates the hell out of me. But it's not just my husband, she's always had a staring problem since as long as I can recall, the thing is she ONLY stares at men. Plus ......

recently she said something to me that really made me mad. She made the statement to me, "I bet your husband has alot of women after him at work. I mean he's young and handsome."
WHY ON EARTH WOULD MY OWN MOTHER SAY THAT TO ME?!?!?
I don't get her. My Dad and her sometimes go out to dances and my Dad told me, in private, she was not around, that she stares at other men while they are dancing. I told him not to invite her to any more dances, but he says she starts yelling at him that all he wants is a maid at home. She tells him that she needs to go out at least on the weekends. But when they do go out, she will do that staring thing with men. What do you all make of all this?

Answer 1

Your Mother is NOT a nice person, and I think secretly, she wants you and your husband to end up like her and your Dad....divorced. I would spend as little time around her as was absolutely necessary. Just because she is your Mother doesn't mean she's right, or well-adjusted!

Answer 2

Well with your mom saying that to you about your husband might have alot of women chasing after him at work.. She evidently isn't happy and wants to make you unhappy as well. Your mom will probably not ever be happy because she hasn't found what she is looking for. Maybe she was abused as a child and has that on her mind. Maybe by a man... All you can do is love her because she is your mom no matter what. Try talking to her... without anybody but you and her in the room. Ask her why she never looks at you when talking to you. Tell her you would like her to give you eye contact so that you know she is actually listening to you. Tell her you love her and want things to be better for her and you also your father, but that she needs to open up and tell you what's going on.

Answer 3

lol if your really open to suggestions here ya go.

1) share your concerns with your husband. IF possible have your huby make some off hand remarks about her age. or wow your not looking so great. something to turn her OFF! only if he is willing.

2) help your father find a good woman. someone who will appreciate him, and to put a burr under your mothers saddle.
Also suggest you give him a copy of "Smart Love" By Dr. Phil
I hate the Author, but this book has alot of great advice about dating for people who want "SERIOUS" relationships.

3) Let your mom know how you feel. while I'll be the first to promote goodwill among family, I also believe husbands and wifes need to protect each other. sometimes men to not recognize problems from the opposite gender because we tend to underestimate them. Let your mom know that your not comfortable with her "drooling" all over your man, and if she cannot behave she needs to leave until she can develope some self control.

4) work on rebuilding your fathers self esteem. Nothing hurts worse then knowing the one you love holds you on contempt. Men especially crave the support of our wives. and saying mean things, and Cuckolding us can either bring out the man, or turn us to mush.

Men need someone to love, somthing worth fighting for, and a cause greater then ourselves.
Help your father find his.

Answer 4

uggh!
Your mother was having an affair at work...
your mother imagines women that work with your husband hit on him, suggesting that he could be vulnerable to affair...
Is your mom imagining what she would do if she worked with your husband? I mean, this is a logical connection I am making here, it's not that far out there. It sounds to me like she just confessed to you that if she worked with your husband, she would be flirting with him.
Your mom has issues with fidelity. It's creepy. Your dad sounds like a really nice guy. How come the nice people always end up with the players? I wish your dad would throw her off and never toss anything but an insulting penny her way.

Answer 5

Your mother obviously has issues. In some cases the only way to insulate yourself is to isolate yourself, but only you can decide if this is a warranted tactic or not. In a perfect world she would get help for her neurotic behavior, but it's likely she doesn't even recognize she has a problem.

Answer 6

Maybe she likes men she is not in a relationship with.
I hate 2 say this, but I think she is after your man.
Keep an eye on him.

Answer 7

Your mother can't be trusted and she's plainly using your father but, like you said, that's between them.

I'm stunned your mother said that to you about your husband. I think she only has sex on the brain...like I said, she can't be trusted.

Answer 8

your mom is a slut and she wants your husband and your dad needs to cut her off

Answer 9

move away.