I dont really have any selfconfidence and nether does my mum how can i build her selfconfidence up and mine.
2007-06-21 04:47:11 · 18 answers · asked by pottermad160 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Hey, I have exactly the same problem. It's so hard isn't it?
Well click on the link in 'source', and follow the first couple of steps. I sat on this for a couple of months before I felt I could ask my friends for a list of things they love about me. They did it yesterday and it made me feel wonderful. I've printed the list out and stuck it next to my bedroom mirror to read aloud every morning.
Then, today I made a list of all the things I am. No bad things allowed.
You can probably apply some of them to yourself... Take a look:
I am thoughtful
I am kind
I am loving
I am loyal
I am able to admit when I'm wrong
I am friendly
I am funny
I am really funny
I am able to be a comedy compare
I am joking
I am modest
I am open-minded
I am creative
I am sarcastic
I am rarely serious
I am clever
I am young
I am happy
I am dizzy
I am nice
I am there for others
I am energetic
I am exciting
I am healthy
I am positive
I am sexy
I am not joking
I am great
I am beautiful
I am strong
I am inventive
I am artistic
I am fun to be around
I am FUN
I am lovely
I am random
I am serious
I am sensitive
I am sympathetic
I am empathetic
I am generous
I am giving
I am assertive
I am attentive
I am adaptable
I am a bit wooo a bit waaaay
I am ME
I am finding myself
I am a little crazy
I am bright
I am sunny
I am daring
I am unpretentious
I am unmaterialistic
I am enthusiastic
I am childlike
I am optimistic
I am a great believer
I am a great believer of others
I am easily pleased
I am exciteable
I am romantic
I am opinionated
I am questionable
I am aware
I am alive
I am loved
I am responsible
I am always thinking
I am grateful to others
I am a good friend
I am successful
I am open to suggestions
Now, once you've made your own list, again, stick this up somewhere that you can read it to yourself like a mantra.
Hey listen, you say your mum has low-self esteem... Well I bet you could list 100 things you love and admire about her... And she could you.... Why don't you try that as a starting point. Don't be afraid to ask others what they think of you... My e-mail asking my friends started off with "I know I run the risk of this sounding like an ego-trip but I'm sure you know me well enough to know this isn't the case". I am WRACKED with insecurities, and am forever doubting myself and wondering why I'm here and why anyone wastes their time with me... But you know what, there's a lot of things on the list from my friends that really warmed my heart. - So just ask ahead, anything that can make you feel better is truly worth it.
Remember, you are YOU. Accept your faults, work on some if they need attention, and also love your good points. If you're good at something, do more of it, if you enjoy something, do more of it etc etc....
Good luck, and if you want to e-mail me, please feel free.... xx
2007-06-21 05:04:52 · answer #1 · answered by rollacoasta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Self confidence is a very hard thing to build up, if you don't have it and have never had it. You need to do things that make you feel happy. Things that are for you and not for anyone else. Exercise and eating properly often help with how you feel about your outer appearance. Be more social with others and be yourself. Don't let people tell you how you should be, just be you.
For your mom, give her a lot of motivational chats and compliment her about how she looks, but at the same time, be honest about whether the clothes she's wearing or make-up, etc is flattering. Be supportive and be there to catch her if she stumbles. These are things you can do for yourself as well, by looking in a mirror and chatting yourself up. Yes, I know, it sounds weird, but it can help.
Buy some books on self-motivation. Dr. Phil has some good books out there that are helpful. If the two of you work together, you can overcome this, by being a support system for one another.
Good luck!
2007-06-21 11:53:54 · answer #2 · answered by hippityhophop2002 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. this is really sad. You've never seen self-confidence modeled, and you certainly don't want to pass this down another generation...
Is there someone in your life and your Mom's who tears you down, speaks negatively about you, abuses you verbally or physically? If so, take action to have it stopped. If not then your battle is half won.
To begin with, you need to know with complete certainty that God created you BECAUSE and only because He LOVES you. You are created for a specific reason and have gifts, talents and abilities no one else has. You are important and you will make a difference in the world.
Next, start speaking the truth about yourself out loud. Everyday tell yourself you are a confident, good person, that you are friendly, likable, fun, and brave...
Write it down and say it. You will start believing it. It may take time but you will start feeling different inside.
I'm not saying it's easy. It's not. It's a battle. But you will win this battle! And God is on your side. Don't give up.
I wish you luck and blessings
2007-06-21 11:56:31 · answer #3 · answered by Mary L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a step by step process that should cover your mind, body and spirit. Look at all the good qualities you and your mother have. Focus on the good things. Explore new things that you have an interest in, hobbies, planting a garden, learning, crafts, get out in nature, etc. Try different things and follow your heart. As you build up those skills you will slowly build up your self confidence and then you can work on building your social skills as well. Eat right, wear a new outfit, pray, meditate, exersice, find your bliss and follow it.
2007-06-21 12:33:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Exercise, healthy eating, set goals for the year. Dont expect too much from yourself. If your crap at everything, chances are you'll always be crap. Accept your always going to be slightly crap and get on with things anyway. Spend your life doing the things you enjoy. Dont waste time with things/people you dont enjoy. Learn an instrument. Visit an art gallery. Take a holiday. Read a great book. Watch a classic film. Fill your life with quality and not shite like Big Brother and East Enders. Remember you only get 60 years or so to live your life, and thats not long, so dont waste time!
2007-06-22 09:20:32 · answer #5 · answered by Chris O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try something you're good at and always tell yourself, "I'm awesome!" Think that everyone is lucky to have your as a friend. That's what I do! The more you believe in yourself, the better you feel and the better everyone else feels around you. People will begin to give all kinds of compliments!
2007-06-21 11:51:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get dressed up and go out and enjoy yourselves.Join some groups or classes and socialise. Go for a hair do simply look at yourself and see all your good qualities.We all see the bad side of ourselves but you are great and so is your mum so go out and show off :-)
2007-06-21 11:52:55 · answer #7 · answered by TAFF 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A friend of mine took up self defence classes and in doing so not only learnt how to look after herself but also improved her self confidence and made a lot of friends into the bargain.
2007-06-21 16:29:35 · answer #8 · answered by bluegirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Liking one's self is encouraged by crackpot bookwriters and Dr Phil on Dope-rah Shows, and completely confuses the issues confronting sanity.
Sanity isn't thinking more or less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less often. Try thinking of others for a change and see how self-consciousness slips away.
2007-06-21 13:32:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
little self confidence is only a mini personal pity party soo stop being so petty. Dont put yourself down so much maybe u should make a list of things that make you feel good and do them
2007-06-21 12:00:30 · answer #10 · answered by brandy0084 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋