Cheating Men and Women?

Question

I honestly dont understand howsomeone who cheats on the partner they love and can say they do love them and didnt mean to hurt them, i mean did they not think this would hurt them and if they loved them why would they sleep with someone else, and i dont understand why their partners would take them back, any cheaters out there can explain this and make me understand or partners can share their side as to why they forgave them.

JUst to traces i would like to say if she is thinking about who she wants to be with this should tell you something she doesnt seem to have any remorse and is considering being with this guy, i hope you work something out

i havent been cheated on i am just trying to understand more about it so when i hear stories like what i described in my question it doesnt make me so frustrated

Answer 1

I agree with you and I couldn't forgive this!

Answer 2

Married 17 yrs and have never cheated on my husband. My opinion is this: people do sometimes make mistakes and if someone cheats once, it doesn't necessarily mean that they will cheat again. Every situation is different and unless you have been there, you don't know what goes on in peoples' relationships. People who cheat over and over again, are selfish, disrespectful and not moral people. They have no regard for their partner's feelings and frankly they don't care. On the other hand, the partner who is letting them get away with it has no self esteem or respect, they think that they deserve it, that it is their fault and that they can't get anyone better. They are enabling the cheater to continue to cheat. The cheater knows that their partner won't leave them so why should they change? That is my opinion.

Answer 3

I'm currently in this situation. My wife is cheating on me. I'm trying to forgive her and move on. I love my wife with all of my heart and if we break up I can honestly say I will never be with another woman. Anyway, what makes my problem worse is she knows this and says she can't make a decision right now as to who she wants to be with. My brain tells me to cut and run but my heart says hang on and fight. I really don't know how to answer on why I can forgive her but at this point if she chose to stop the affair all together I would forgive her without any problem what so ever. Now I have told her that we cannot remain together married if it doesn't stop and she says the sexual part of the relationship has stopped but that she still confides in him and talks to him almost daily. I'm not a wuss and am not afraid of being alone at all, I just love my wife and don't want to lose her. I will not share her though so at some point in the near future she will have a choice to make regardless of whether she is ready or not.

Answer 4

First of all, the answer from the Faithful Me: I was married for almost 20 years and was cheated on shamelessly. This man was ill. No matter how often we had sex, it was never enough and he would literally jump up and go looking for more elsewhere. I hung in and believed in my marriage, tried to get him some help, and never cheated once (though not for lack of opportunity.) I finally divorced him when I realized that he didn't want to change and how much damage this dysfunctional dude was doing to myself and my kids.

Now, the answer from the Unfaithful Me: after my divorce I met a man who I fell in love with. He seemed perfect in every way until he decided to choose drugs over me. At that point, everything stopped: normal conversation, intimacy, his ability to hold down a job. Everything. Again, I hung in and tried to get him to seek help. Again, I remained (lonely and) faithful. Eventually I asked him to leave, but he wouldn't budge no matter how blatantly wrong things were for us.

So, I forced the issue. Not with just anyone, not someone I picked up in a bar or anything. I stepped out with a dear friend who had given me all the support and attention in the world while Captain Jack was getting by. I got caught because I wanted to, rolling in with bed-head after a night totally unaccounted for (although I never gave up my pal's identity, no reason to.) It was the only thing I could do that was going to get the point through. And hey! It worked!!

Will I ever cheat again? It sure isn't in my nature. Right now I'm with a great guy who treats me like the temple of love and is honest, drug-free and kind; I treat him the same way in return. There is balance in our relationship and balance makes cheating a non-option. And, hey! I still see my buddy that I had the romp with, still friends but we keep our pants on.

As far as forgiveness goes? Forgiveness is one thing, but the breach of trust is another. No sane person with an ounce of self-esteem can ever trust a cheater again.

Answer 5

Well...I have cheated and been cheated on..(I dont make cheating a practice though!)...When I cheated I felt as though my relationship was deteriorating..I loved the attention this other guy gave me, and I altimately gave into the lust and temptation...This doesnt mean I didnt LOVE my boyfriend...I was vulnerable and I felt like he was drifting away. This is no excuse, but at the time, that is how I justified it. It is very possible to love someone and cheat... SEX with a stranger has no connections to love or commitment..I regreted my decision, and trust was lost- but he never questioned my love for him- only my loyalty.

Answer 6

i did it because i felt rejected and this other person made me feel worth something again. And he did it to get even and hopefully heal his broken heart. But me cheating hurt far more than him because i knew that i had messed up something good and immediately felt guilty our relationship has not been the same since the trust is gone and it has become a love/ hate relationship.

Answer 7

Some people think of sex as an act, more as an animal instinct to relieve themselves. It is not attached as an emotion bond to another individual. The old saying of notches on a belt is how some think about going out and having sex with any and everyone they can. To them, a spouse is someone they love, someone they come home to every day, someone they share children with, take vacations with and buy expensive items for. Infidelity is not in their vocabulary. Extra-marital sex only spices up their sex life with their spouse. They don't think of the pain and anguish they cause

Answer 8

Nope, I have no clue.

I know these two things:

People without self confidence are the ones that forgive and take them back.

People who cheat do not truly love or RESPECT the person they cheat on. Otherwise, they wouldn't cheat.

Answer 9

You obviously just don't understand people very well. And let's be truthful... you really don't want to. The truth would hurt too much.

The guy below me actually explains it quite well. Most of you girls are already been cheated on anyway or he would if he could. You aint ever going to stop it, that's just the way it is.

Answer 10

sex is and should be fun. If it isn't then they go looking, either gender.

Keep your garden tended and talk, best answer for anyone.

There will always be letharios out there and you should know before you marry if that is the case.

Would "Swinging" be acceptable to you? That way both partners get to experiment equally.

Old Guy

Answer 11

Love is love, lust is lust. I'm not condoning the practice of cheating, but lust can be a powerful force, as everyone knows, making it easy to temporarily forget about those you love and who you might be hurting with your actions.