How to keep the father off birth certificate?

Question

First off, I'm not asking this for myself. I am happily married and also not pregnant. Now that that's out of the way, my best friend is pregnant. Her ex was very controlling as well as verbally abusive. She doesn't want her child to be around what she dealt with for the two years they were together. I wasn't sure how to help her with this so I wanted some options to give to her. Do any of you know ways to keep him off the birth certificate? I thought maybe she could say she doesn't know who the father is but I'm not sure if it will work.

Answer 1

I did it. When the registrar was asking me the parental information, she asked me the father's name and I said, "I'd like to keep that ommitted." She said okay. No harm, no foul.

You are not obligated to list the parental information. She could legitimately not know who the father is. They can't fault her for that.

With that said, if she wants to get child support from him, they will make him take a paternity test. THEN, he can fight to have the name on the BC, and then a custody battle could ensue if he is a big a jerk as you're saying. If she isn't worried about financial support in helping to raise her child, then there is no worries on this.

The best thing to do, for Mom and Baby, is to keep a restraining order in play and/or a PFA (Protection From Abuse Order) and she needs to document any and all contact from him. If he knows that she's pregnant, she needs to do this for their safety. Men that crazy are even crazier when there's a child involved.

I'm not trying to scare either of you. I just know first-hand what can happen. My daughter's father isn't on the BC. He wasn't abusive, but he has a serious drinking problem. She has my maiden name. He pays child support (sometimes) but has no custody of her at all. It's because I documented and had evidence when we went to court for that part. I have also worked at a battered-womens shelter, and have helped shelter participants in obtaining these orders.

Good luck to you and your friend. I hope this info is useful.

Answer 2

well she can leave the space for the name of the father blank or write N/A. Not everyone puts the name of the father on the birth certificate for many reasons. i live in VA and i know a couple people who have not put the father on the Birth certificate for their own reasons.

Not putting him on the Birth certificate because she does not have a good relationship with him is no reason. i understand that she is worried that he might treat the kid the same way as he does her but she cant by law keep the kid away from his father. That is the same thing as if he did that to her keeping the baby way, etc. That is for the judge to determine down the line. She might even be hurting the child down the line too. I would still put his name on the birth certificate see how he acts around the baby and toward the baby and then if he still acting like a butt then go to court.

Answer 3

I am in MA and this is how it works out here. If you are married then the fathers name will be put on the birth certificate automatically. If you are not married then the father has to come to the hospital before the baby is discharged and sign the birth certificate.

Call your local hospital (records) and they should be able to tell you the laws where you are.

If his name isn't on the birth certificate than he has no automatic rights to the child and will have to take your friend to court to fight for everything, visitation etc.

Good luck to her and you are being a good friend........

Answer 4

After she has the baby she will have to fill out a Birth Registration form.. When she fills that out, leave the fathers information blank! Then when she fills out the birth certificate form, again, leave the father's information blank! If anything is said about it, just tell them she don't know who the baby's father is, as she was at a party when she got pregnant... I know it sounds a bit over the edge, but it should work. That way they can't force you to tell them, because in that situation, you really don't know who it is.

Answer 5

As long as she is NOT married to him, she is the mother and can sign the birth certificate as that and give him her maiden name. She can say that she doesn't know that this man is the ACTUAL father, but if she's not married to him I don't think it matters. Heck for that matter, if she's not married to him she has the right to refuse him into the hospital room.

After the baby is born however he will have the right to see the child if it is his regardless of what last name it carries. It may be a long, expensive battle, but he will get to see him.

Judges don't usually deny the Father a right to see their child just because it's parents couldn't get along. If the Father has a bad history, she may be able to get supervised visitation...ESPECIALLY for the first year of that babies life.

Believe me, I tried EVERYTHING I could. I succeeded with the first year and a half because of my daughters dad having a police record. She'll have to have proof.

Otherwise, it's going to be hard and there will be a lot of tears, but she's going to have to get through it and the best thing you could do is be there for her and reinforce his parenting to her. Make her feel as comfortable as you can about her child knowing who it's father is.

Answer 6

As the mother you dont have to list a father....... Now the father can take you to court to add it. But MOST men wont do that. You said HER EX.................. they are not married, so to add a father ( here in Indiana) he must be present at the time you fill it out after the baby is born to add a mans name on it UNLESS your married. If you are married they automatically will let you ad the name. I have NO intention of listing a father on this baby;s birth cert.

And before you say you cant do that because of child support............. he doesnt pay for the 2 I already have , so he wont for this one anyway. Nor does he work, nor do I need and want support, I support my babies.

If the man wants to see the child he can get supervised visits with you and someone eles there...... If he abused her he WILL abuse the child....

elaeblue i dont know what state you are in but im in Indiana, and work in Illinois............ I know a woman that has 6 kids with NO named father because she simply doesnt know, or want to deal, she is on full welfare and they never question her............. she is on full state aid doesnt work and has a college degree. So the relevance of the father is non existent.

Answer 7

I'm not positive but if she's not married to him, her name is the only one that has to go on the birth certificate. If he's not there with her in the hospital when she delivers, he won't be there to insist on it either (since the paperwork is done in the hospital before being discharged). She could call the hospital and ask someone too.

Answer 8

I'm the girl "They Call Me Mom" is talking about.. and just to elaborate on some things... my ex DOES have a police record... there IS a warrant for his arrest in a different county.. he never works (therefore, i'm not even going after child support), AND, knowing I'm pregnant, he kinda abandoned me for his best friend's girlfriend... so now he's with another woman, and only calls me when he is angry. Also.. the stepfather he lives with was just arrested as a sexual predator. Even though he is in jail now.... STILL. My ex did (or maybe still does) have a few too many drinks, and he has been more than verbally abusive towards me on more than one drunken night. His brother and sister-in-law feed it into his head that I slept around and that the baby is not his (I know for a fact it is).

I know... looking back, he was/is the worst choice of sperm donor I could've picked. But to anyone who's ever been in a relationship like that, you know how hard it is to get out of.

Thanks so much for everyone's advice... you guys opened my eyes up to some things I hadn't thought about yet. Especially the legal issues.

I've started keeping a log of contact between me and my ex, but the contact is few and far between. He'll act like one day its not his kid, and the next day, ask if he can go to my doc appts.....

Please keep posting your ideas and experiences.. it's helping me out more than you know. =]]]]]

Answer 9

If they aren't married she doesn't have to put anyone but her own name on the birth certificate. If they are married then the hospital will automatically put his name on there.

My mom was going through a divorce when she met my dad and got pregnant with me. When she delivered me, the divorce still wasn't finalized, and even though her "husband" wasn't my biological dad they still put his name on my birth certificate. It can be changed but I would have to go to court in the state that I was born in and that is too much trouble.

Answer 10

Yaa they can put unknown. The problem is that he can file for a paternity test and then be added to the birth certificate. She would have to keep it a secret that the child is even born, which can be difficult