So I'm an Asian male from Memphis, TN, and it's been a bumpy road looking for happiness. I've often felt like an outcast in this city...like I don't really belong. Memphis, is about 50/50 Black and White...other minorities are scarce. In addition, it's a very conservative place (in the suburbs) and a more liberal place (in the city)..which means race relations suck and people of differing race and political views mostly live in separate spheres of the city. It seems like most people (despite the fact that I was born here) think I'm a foreigner. Well, I went to college around Philadelphia, thinking I would be happy there. Wrong. My college years were really tumultuous and painful. The diversity part was fine (and a nice change), but I still found myself unhappy for a number of reasons. Now I'm moving out to LA for a job...and I just want to be happy. I feel like I keep moving places, thinking things will be different. How can I be happy? I don't want to be disappointed again.
2007-06-21 02:40:10 · 10 answers · asked by toobland22 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
wow, heavy stuff toobland22! Not sure whether this forum is the ideal place to find an answer to such a profound and intricate question...but here's my 2 pennies worth:
Imagine a city where everyone was the same (same color, same status,same religion). Wouldn't it make things very bland (no pun intended). And don't think for one second that in such a scenario everyone would be all happy and luvvy juvvy. Rather than be a victim of circumstance or consequence MAKE THINGS HAPPEN.
When I was living in Europe I found myself to be the only black guy in a 30 mile radius - boy that was weird! But you know what I did? I turned it to my advantage by considering myself special and unique and summoning up the strength of character to win everyone over. At the end of the day beneath your skin and stuff,,,YOU are YOU.
If LA is more of a melting pot - great! If not, make things work in your favor.
2007-06-21 03:06:08 · answer #1 · answered by 4headspace 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
:) smile :)
You can be happy with yourself when you tell yourself its "o.k. to cry and it's o.k. to smile ;)
I grew up in a family which moved 20 times in 22 years of my life. (Yes I lived at home until I was 22. )
My parents we're always running away from the problem but it followed them. One was drugs the other alcohol. Both of which are good removers of family, friends and of self.
Not saying thats the reason you keep moving but relating to how you feel, I can. I never was able to make good friends, because I would move away and not see them again, so I always held back into getting close with people. I still do that today. I don't know why but I do? Afraid of getting hurt or what? But, don't worry things have a way of working themselves out and God knows your plan, you just have to make the adjustments needed until you find it. Good Luck.
When you don't feel grounded like you belong, its very hard to gain your confidence back up and plunge in fully into anything, if you think there is a cloud ^ up there that will come along and turn your blue sky into a gray kind of day. Basically, if you don't feel comfortable with self, you will not feel comfortable anywhere. I been to TN. before and I know the "spheres" your talking about. Takes time to understand it but you have two types of people in the world, "The local, local" Which means they live there whole life in the same place, generation after generation. Then is the "traveler". The new to the scene to the local, locals and somehow we blend into both types of people
fairly easier, I think in America then in any other country.
2007-06-21 09:58:55 · answer #2 · answered by queenofsiberia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's not the city you are living in that makes you unhappy. You might be suffering from depression. I realize that race relations in the South are pretty bad, and you being Asian probably is very hard, at least in LA there will be a larger group of Asian people that you can get to know. Seriously I think you might need to speak to a doctor about Social anxiety disorder, maybe you just aren't comfortable around people in general and this can be treated. I wish you the best of luck on your move & much Happiness in your future. Be Well
2007-06-21 09:48:46 · answer #3 · answered by exslidergirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you looking for happiness outside yourself....???
I wish I had a friend like you so i could gently "thump" you on
the head..meant with love, of course....because until you
love yourself fully as you are, and realize you have everything you need to be happy inside, and wherever you are is the
Buddha's land (land of happiness) no amount of effort or
seeking will produce other than temporary (if any) happiness.
I suspect that with it's larger Asian populace, LA will be both
a blessing and a challenge. Any time you'd like to talk,
email me. No obligation, of course...but you always have a
choice and you can CHOOSE happiness! Look in the mirror
and contemplate of your own Buddha nature! You have it,
you know, but you must "activate" it. But don't believe me,
check it out for yourself. You sound like a pretty cool guy.
Peace and love.
2007-06-21 11:03:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You take yourself with you wherever you go. You need to find a place that has some people with whom you can relate. Do you think, since you brought this up, that a place with a larger Asian population would work? If so, perhaps San Francisco or Los Angeles would be a consideration.
2007-06-21 09:46:28 · answer #5 · answered by hopflower 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happiness needs to start from within you, moving may not be the answer. Everyplace has some drawbacks. Look inside yourself and know that sometimes we must choose to be happy and change our outlook to do so. Good luck.
2007-06-21 11:10:37 · answer #6 · answered by Maria b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear, first you keep in your mind that you are created by God and all black and white are created by same God,next you have same parts of body as others and might be you have strong body and I am sure that all people don't have.you must have to bear in mind that you are not less than anybody, secondly you must have confidence that whatever I will do will be successful.to be happy always think you are charming friend ,don't shay to anybody,bearing no fear in mind that people will laugh for any deed,dress well,behave well and you will find that you are great person,and have strong belief in God.
2007-06-21 14:24:45 · answer #7 · answered by mateen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have but one piece of advice to give, young brother. No matter where you run, your problems will follow you. You find happiness within yourself, not where you live, my friend. I can't tell you how to do this, that is a road you must travel.
2007-06-21 10:04:17 · answer #8 · answered by Joe Schmo Photo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
True Happiness happens whenever we are not judging anything.
Any time that you are not judging you are happy.
The moment that you start judging, you find something to be unhappy about.
It really is that simple.
Love and blessings Don
2007-06-23 07:04:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is inside of you...not where you live........
Are you doing the job you want....are you making your self conform to someone else's idea of what your life should be...........finding happiness is a journey
2007-06-21 09:49:51 · answer #10 · answered by penydred 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋