how do you get to start trusting your spouse after they cheated on you.how do you get past this and move on with life and start over gain with them.How do you start trusting them again
2007-06-21 02:22:36 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It takes time. You may never regain the trust.
2007-06-21 02:27:01 · answer #1 · answered by honeyluv_2010 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you move from loving someone out of passion and into loving someone because you choose to love them, things get much harder. I made that choice a few years ago and it was very hard to reconcile at the time (not due to infidelity but other things going on in the relationship. Ultimately, my ex wasn't worthy of the love I chose to give her, but I didn't love her with the same blind passion I had through all of the years of our marriage anymore either. Only for a very brief moment did I feel that we could repair what she had broken, and then when she felt she had "done enough", she stopped trying again.
When someone is making such an effort that its just an act, and you've finally seen through it, it isn't easy seeing the choice you made in loving and trusting them being wrong.
Once you have taken that step of choosing to love someone after trust has been damaged, the love is so very different because its not a love born of the original non understanding of why you are so drawn to and need the other person. Knowing, in a small way, spoils that original feeling and each new betrayal, however slight or small, only hurts all the more as you watch something dwindle away.
Trust is earned, not bestowed, and while one may try to forgive, one never actually forgets.
Theres no magic to how to start trusting them again. You're going to have to take it day by day and they are going to have to earn your trust. its not up to you to give your trust away and just get over it. They have to want to prove to you that they are worthy of your trust again.
2007-06-21 02:42:37 · answer #2 · answered by lyricshade2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes a long time to rebuild that trust. Your spouse has to be understanding during that time as well. If your spouse really wants your forgiveness and your trust, they do everything possible to make sure you can trust them again.
2007-06-21 04:33:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to wrestle with it in your mind, probably with a counselor, too. If you do have a fight with your spouse, fight about it once -- DO NOT keep bringing it up months and years later. They feel terrible about it as well, and would like to forget about it -- hopefully. It is a very hard and difficult situation, though, I know.
2007-06-21 02:54:47 · answer #4 · answered by NotAgain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once the trust has been betrayed, it takes a long time for the other person to rebuild it. It's not something that YOU have to fix, it's something that the cheater has to work on.
2007-06-21 02:28:07 · answer #5 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never get over this it will always be in the back of your mind and it will come up in fights the two of you will have with each other.
2007-06-21 02:27:02 · answer #6 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are asking then you wont be able to. You have to be a gullible person and you aren't one. Just leave him and start new.
2007-06-21 02:29:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They have to proove they are worthy of your trust first.
2007-06-21 02:30:37 · answer #8 · answered by mable3691214 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1 little step at a time. It is a slow process..............real slow. Been there, doing it!!
2007-06-21 03:48:26 · answer #9 · answered by ateez9 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No rules can be laid down.
2007-06-21 03:55:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋