My birthday is 7/5 and coming up soon and my wife wants to do something special for me. On July 4th, my parents want to take me to lunch because they know I'll be busy with the wife on the 5th. My wife is not happy with this because she would rather us be by out by the lake or by the river, doing something relaxing. She was so upset that she said she's gonna make plans with her friends to go to the lake or river while I go to lunch with my parents for my birthday, she also thinks July 5th should be the only day to celebrate it. I'd like to get everyone's opinion on this. Am I being selfish or is she being selfish?
2007-06-21 02:17:12 · 22 answers · asked by Michael S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To answer some of your questions: We are not having problems, we fight about normal things. She is not starving for attention because I spend all my free time with her. We live 100 miles from friends and my parents so come weekends, Its me and her. My parents are doing everything they can to communicate with her and invite her and she never responds and tells me she would rather spend time with her parents than mine.
2007-06-21 04:19:36 · update #1
She is. Good Lord. She thinks July 5 should be the only day to celebrate your birthday? What is she, the Birthday Nazi?
She sounds jealous and controlling. Go have lunch with your family, and then have your own 4th of July fun with YOUR friends. Geez.
And for the record, my husbands birthday is May 29th, which always falls on or very near Memorial Day - we (meaning me and his family and his friends) celebrate all weekend long and sometimes into the week. I love him very much, and I want to make him feel as special as I can every year on his birthday. So.. what's her problem?
2007-06-21 03:16:59 · answer #1 · answered by Magaroni 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is being selfish. You have every right to spend time with your parents. If she does not get on with them, and so does not want to join you, that should not stop you from having the time with them. If she wants to spend time at the lake and just relaxing, why can she not arrange it for the 5th, and then go out to dinner afterward? It seems as if she is just looking for an excuse not to spend time with your parents, or trying to stop you from spending time with them. Fortunately, it is YOUR birthday, and so she has no say in how many times you wish to celebrate it.Let her celebrate it only on the 4th, and go and enjoy your time with your parents.
2007-06-21 09:59:30 · answer #2 · answered by sparrow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's only lunch w/parents. I don't see why she is getting upset. Lunch w/parents shouldn't take you all day.
Unless she has something more planned out for you and her.
You know her better than anyone besides her family..you should have an idea.
If nothing is brewing..then yes. I'll have to agree she's being a little selfish.
Some wifes don't always get along with their inlaws (outlaws i prefer myself).
Good luck!
2007-06-21 09:27:48 · answer #3 · answered by HM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she is being extremely unreasonable. She should be at the luncheon with you and your parents. Your birthday is celebrated when others have the opportunity to do so. No you aren't being selfish, dont worry, on her birthday, make a big deal out of what ever she plans to do the day before. Have a happy birthday and good luck
2007-06-21 09:25:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife is being selfish, and sorry but acting like a spoiled brat. Go to lunch with your parents, let her go with her friends. You can always meet up with her after lunch!
Talk to your wife and explain to her that you want to go to lunch with your parents on the 4th, that way you can spend the 5th with her. Good luck and Happy Birthday!
2007-06-21 09:26:14 · answer #5 · answered by cosmicalbitch 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She is.
But let me ask you something - is it possible that the deeper issue is that your wife feels she has to compete with your mother for your attention? If so, it's time to cut the apron strings. You can still love and respect your parents, but your wife is your wife - she comes first.
And why isn't your wife going with you and your parents? I think I'm right about your parents and your wife playing tug of war for your attention.
Do what your wife wants this year and try to remember to put her first. You may have to get all manly and stuff and tell mom and dad no a time or two. Everyone will respect you for it in the end, even if they don't like it now. Your wife, of course, will be very grateful for the change.
2007-06-21 09:25:24 · answer #6 · answered by MithrilHawk 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Try to compromise, got to the lake with you wife on the 4th and have lunch or dinner with your parents on the 5th.
2007-06-21 09:21:42 · answer #7 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not really clear on the question. Are your parents excluding your wife in the lunch invitation? If so, you should decline the lunch with your parents unless she is included too. If this is the case, I don't blame your wife for having hurt feelings and being angry with you for not standing up for her.
2007-06-21 09:29:30 · answer #8 · answered by gypz9 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
she's being more controlling than selfish. she has no right to be upset with you for celebrating your birthday with your parents. not to mention that you two are still going to have your special time together. she is definitely the one being selfish. is there something else going on? have you two been having problems lately? if not, i don't know what to say except that you married a very selfish person. good luck.
2007-06-21 09:24:26 · answer #9 · answered by fungirl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is YOUR birthday! It is supposed to be about what YOU want to do!
It appears to me that she is the one being selfish. I wonder how she would feel if the roles were reversed and you did something like that to her on her birthday. I have a feeling it wouldn't go over so well.
My advise....don't argue with her! Let her go hang out with her friends. Go enjoy lunch with your parents. On the 5th, if you don't feel like hanging out with her - don't. Get together with the guys and go do whatever it is you like to do. If she gets mad, gently explain to her that it is YOUR birthday, and you should be able to enjoy it without all the drama!
Good luck to you! Happy Birthday!
2007-06-21 09:33:23 · answer #10 · answered by Kailey 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋