How do I fix this problem before I get married to my guy?

Question

My guy has this friend (Female). I do trust her and I do trust him but how do I solve a situation like this.

Last night my guy and I were spending our time together and his friend called. She called a few times cause this guy was at her house I guess her brother left him there.. Anyway, after a few hours of calls going back and fourth she called again and he ended up going to see her at about 2:30am telling me he would be back in 15-20 mins. At 3:45am he comes home and obviously I am not happy... He gets mad at me for getting mad at him and we get into a fight. Do you think I had a right to get mad? No he didn't call and he didn't come back home to tell me he was going to be there for a little bit. She only lives 5 mins away.

There was a guy over there causing her problems. I understand that.. I was mad cause he said he would be home in 15-20mins and instead came home almost an hour late with no calls or anything.. I don't think he was getting his freak on cause I got it several times last night so that is not it..

Answer 1

There are too many things that happened that are out of whack in this. First, you and your guy were spending your time together and it was repeatedly being interrupted by this female friend. That needs to be addressed, she can not have carte blanche to call him any time for just any reason, she needs to respect your relationship. Second, the fact that he left at 2:30am and did not take you with him is a huge red flag. Why does he have to be the one to go rescue her, why did her brother not come get this guy out of the house or why did she not just boot the guy out the door if it was her house? Then, lastly, he did not call and let you know he was going to be longer than expected, that right there shows a complete disregard for you and your feelings. That is a problem that needs to be resolved before you ever get married, because if he just goes now and does not call or let you know when he will be home, it will only get worse with time. Not saying you need to control his movements or monitor where he is 24/7, but he needs to respect your feelings and concerns as well.

Answer 2

I wouldn't have been happy about it either. I would be even more upset that he's upset with me over it. Realizing it was only about an hour. It would depend on the story he had to tell me as to why he was there for so long. If this guy was causing her trouble and he had a hard time getting him out of the house, or she wanted him to stay until her brother got there, I would be a little more understanding, but if he just stayed to chat, I would have an issue with him for not calling me to let me know.

Answer 3

I think you need to investigate . Why would he leave at 2:30 in the morning if she had beeen callling for hours much earlier and then come back a whole hour and 15 minutes later. Something not right there. If that was the case you could have went with him over there. But you know why he didn't want you to go, bcuz he was getting his freak on. Girl you better open your eyes and stop letting them play you!!! Trust me, the ones that you think that are your friends will be the one to double-cross you.

Answer 4

You had a right to be upset. He has no right to be upset just because you are. I think it is a defensive reaction on his part. You should really think about this before getting married. otherwise, you are in for a life time of this BS. BTW, what is wrong with him saying, "I am busy." when this person calls. Most of us have friends that call and Need some sort of help, we do not just drop everything and go help EVERY TIME. Also, if there was some one at her place that she did not want there, we pay taxes for the police and they handle those situations.

Answer 5

I tend to agree with newsgal. I would be equally upset with the female friend. I'm SURE she knew you were there. How disrespectful was that of her to keep calling? If she was so worried about the guy that got left at her house, why didn't she call her brother back? Duh. I would be mad at my boyfriend and make it VERY clear that he is not to up and leave you at 2:30am like that and that he also needs to explain to his friend that he is in a serious relationship now, and cannot afford for her to mess with it by her constant phone calls. I know that people in serious relationships have friends of the opposite sex, but even my BEST guy friends have cooled off on calling me since I entered into my relationship. It's just a respect thing. Good luck!!

Answer 6

That's a tough one because I have a male best friends a well. However, the female should respect your marriage and not call your husband at all kinds of hours. That's rude. I would never do something like that to my best friend. He would be the last person I call and it would have to be more than just some guy being at my house. You should talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. Yes, you trust him, but it's about respect.

Answer 7

I think you should have every right to get upset at him. Not only at him, but at her. She's got alot of nerve to be calling him non stop at 2:00 in the morning. Does she not have any other friends that she could depend on, and he is an idiot, to let a "girlfriend" disturb him and make him get out of your bed to go comfort her. Listen you let him know that if the tables were turned, he would not like that one bit. Let him see you leave at three in the morning to one of your "Boyfriend house and see how he likes it. Oh wow, I'm getting mad just thinking about it. Its called respect and that chick needs to get her own shoulder to cry on, cause she is taking yours!!! Good luck honey cause that sh*t is crazy!!!

Answer 8

hi...i kinda have two answers for this, yes and no. yes, you have the right to be mad at him beacuse he did not call you to inform you that he would be coming back later than he expected and told you and no, because he mightve had somehting important to do with his friend like maybe she was in some type of trouble and needed his help with that guy who was hanging out at her house. you never know what was really going on, but i think that you should hear him out before you get mad at him. and guys are usually not good at reading in girl's reactions...because i know that as his fiance you were worried about him which is why you got mad. my first reaction would probably have been that, but you should hear him out and hear his side of the story. just hear him out and solve this problem before getting married, cause it sure will affect your marriage if you dont resolve a little problem like this cause there could be bigger problems on the way in the future...no one can live a "perfect'' marriage...problems always come our way to mature us and to help us grow and learn to become better people. learn from this, and hear what your guy has to say. i'm sure he has a good explanation for his actions. God bless your relationship with him.

Answer 9

Oh sweetie, you can trust your man without being gullible and ignorant. I'm not calling you these things but you're acting that way. It's obvious that your man isn't up to any good any woman with good sense can tell this. He comes back practically 2 hours later when she only lives 5 min away nothing can explain that. He's taking you for granted and really insulting your intelligence. Personally, I wouldn't give him the time of the day to explain why I'm leaving but I would definitely leave him because you have all the evidence to acquit him.

Answer 10

personally I think its wrong. I think that when you are a couple with someone that you should not do anything that causes suspicion to the other person. Its just showing respect for the relationship to not even put the other in the situation of feeling insecure about another person.