Example- My other half and I work seperate shifts, to save money on childcare costs. I never get to see him because when I get off, he's at work and when he comes home, I'm usually asleep. I happened to be up last night when he got home because he came home early. I said..... "oh hi, you're here. We can watch some tv together before I go to sleep". He says... "I like to play my game (referring to a video game) as early as possible. I would rather play my game." My feelings were hurt pretty good because he comes home after work and plays almost every night and he also plays during the day when my child is napping. Bottom line, he gets his time to play. Much more than the amount of time we actually get together during the week. I'm pretty sure I'll have a bad day cause I woke up sad. I'm a good girl and deserve at least 20 minutes of attention once in a while. Not sure what it'll take to make him realize but that sort of thing is heartbreaking.
2007-06-21 00:58:22 · 16 answers · asked by quintons_mommy2004 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe I should clarify that we've been dealing with this for a LOOONG time. He's well aware of how I feel.
2007-06-21 06:59:31 · update #1
You said it! Although I would'nt be sad. Id be throwing dishes...Maybe when he comes home and wonders why dinners not ready, you can say, I like to play MY game now!
2007-06-21 01:06:49 · answer #1 · answered by blerchus4incapet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is the price of childcare worth more than your relationship?
When a relationship is in trauma interests start going elsewhere, in this case it's video games.
Yes, it's immature for him to go play his video games instead of spending time with you, and he needs to know that if he wants to have a relationship and physical intimacy then he needs to show some attention to the relationship. Also, tv time isn't really a good answer either.
From what you are saying it sounds like he's losing interest in your relationship and you both need to focus on building your relationship, not just being on the couch (or bed) together.
In order for him to hear how much it hurts when he doesn't spend time with you, you may have to cut off what he wants from you, hint hint.
2007-06-21 01:16:44 · answer #2 · answered by ahhgodzirra 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Shame man thats horrible, I feel sooo sad for you :( I wish there was something you could do to make him see the light! Men can be such ***holes (excuse my language).. If my boyfriend ever does that to me, even before we get married, I will not stand for it. Whats the use of being in a relationship if you don't take time out of your day to spend together? Is your husband not willing to do that? I think you should have a long chat with him and get him to come to a compromise.
2007-06-21 01:16:51 · answer #3 · answered by Expecting ... ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him how you feel. He may not have realized how much it would hurt your feelings or that you were really looking forward to spending time with him. Plus, if he's addicted to playing that game, it's like any other addiction - he wanted to get to it ASAP and wasn't worried about anything else that could stand in the way. It could be a simple misunderstanding, but it'll get worse and worse if you stay silent.
2007-06-21 01:03:27 · answer #4 · answered by tooblessed2doubt 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What kind of partner is he? As a partner, he has to make you feel loved and at the same time, you deserve not just a 20-minute attention but a full-time attention.
If you feel hurt, don't just keep it for yourself. Tell him. It always helps to be emotional sometimes. . .
If he still prioritizes his games after you tell him what you feel, then tell him to marry his games!!
2007-06-21 01:06:55 · answer #5 · answered by YAHOO ANSWERER 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have inconsiderate and priorities mixed up.
Inconsiderate is when he wants you to go to his parents house with him (when you really don't want to go) yet refuses to go to yours with you. Or drinks the last of the milk in the carton when the baby needs it for breakfast. Or both you work and he never picks up after himself, saying it is your job!
Priorities...is when he gets off early and wants to play his game. In a guys eyes (mind) he wouldn't normally have been there anyway so what's the big deal.
2007-06-21 01:17:39 · answer #6 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Most likely, it'll take "the slamming of the door", on your way out of the marriage, to make him wake up. Sorry, but you know it's the truth. Talk to him, before it's too late!
2007-06-21 01:03:42 · answer #7 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because they dont think...at times,am a man and i know. Essientially your man sounds like a good guy working shifts to feed your kid,be grateful for that.. You can also try talking to him
2007-06-21 01:10:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
U have chosen ur life to be by choosing on separate shifts. It is a sure way to kill married life.
2007-06-21 01:17:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
simply because they don't think! the most important thing on a mans min 24/7 money and sex that is all they think about.
2007-06-21 01:02:05 · answer #10 · answered by kissybertha 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋