My fiance is not getting over with his ex-fiance. I know everything about them coz he's open w/ me about his past relationships. But, I am worrying that they might see each other someday and my fiance may choose her other than me... I might being paranoid but this is what I am feeling may be until our wedding comes...
I also think that he would not be happy w/ our marriage if he still loves her ex very much.When I ask or talk about that thing, he doesn't wanna talk about it...
2007-06-21 00:09:02 · 24 answers · asked by Zehlea 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it sounds harsh, but if he still loves her, how can he have room to love you? leave him. find someone who appreciates you and wants to be with just you. in my experience and from my friends experience, there's a reason you break up with people. you don't really love each other. if he's not over that, then you won't ever have a happy relationship with him. good luck.
2007-06-25 07:46:14 · answer #1 · answered by raven 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is the wedding still being discussed or have you booked the reception hall, sent out invitations, etc.?
He may have not gotten over his fiancee because the hurt is still fresh. That doesn't mean that he still loves her. In fact, if she really hurt him, she might be the last person he'd ever want to marry or get together with. It's up to you to be the person who shows him that love isn't hurtful.
Maybe they will see each other someday. Don't you think that circumstances change and he will be in a different, better place in his life when that happens? Maybe he'll remember how much in love with her he was and have good memories but also memories of the breakup, too. Why wouldn't he think, 'Wow, I'm so glad that is far behind me now!' and be glad he's with you?
To make yourself less paranoid, concentrate on making him more happy. And yourself too!
2007-06-28 02:39:00 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have any doubts at all,, i would not go threw with the wedding UNTIL,,#1- You get over this feeling you have about him loving his ex and #2 If he is so open about his relationship then why doesn't he want to talk about his feelings? Could it be you bring it up all the time? That isn't a healthy way to start out a marriage and maybe you need to trust him and believe if he had feelings like that for his ex do you really think he would be wanting to marry you? Ask him one time about his feelings for the ex and then let it go, if (an women have a gut feeling about these things) you feel as if he does, i would not continue with the relationship. If he does have feelings for her, he needs to have time to his self and sort out his feelings. Big mistake if you continue with a marriage an not have trust for the one you are about to spend your life with. Good luck and best wishes.
2007-06-21 00:22:25 · answer #3 · answered by sweetemtation_123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that she loves him is none of your business unless she makes a move to restore her relationship. I am a therapist and many of my clients fell in love with me as part of the process of recovery. Some of them even have met my wife in stores or restaurants by accident. What is my wife supposed to do, spend her life worrying about the feelings of strangers? I don't reciprocate their feelings. i am a loyal and loving husband. So, I was the first person who treated them with dignity and respect and listened to their problems and never brushed them off like their abusive husbands. That relationship is often more intimate than a sexual one. The issue is: Does your fiance reciprocate her feelings? If the answer is no, it is dead history and you could wreck an otherwise great relationship with your jealousy and insecurity, especially if you bring it up more than once. You want to wrap him in a blanket so nobody else can have him. Well, you do not own him. If he is a cheater he will cheat no matter what you do. If he is not a cheater, you could put him in a room full of naked women and he would excuse himself and come home to you. Lighten up and stop trying to control the world. Worry about controlling yourself because right now you are giving yourself premature gray hair over nothing.
2016-05-21 08:54:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you need to be assertive with him and explain your feelings and misgivings. You are engaged to the guy after all! You don't say whether he still sees her or not, but if you have an issue here, you need to talk about it and he needs to listen to you.
It will probably put your mind at rest and you might find out you have been worrying needlessly. On the other hand, if he still has strong feelings for his ex, that is NOT cool and you deserve to be with someone whose affections are committed towards you, not some other girl from the past.
Good luck - I hope things work out well for you.
2007-06-21 00:27:14 · answer #5 · answered by Lucie G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame him for not wanting to talk about this either. He's maybe trying to get on with his life and you keep reminding him, that he still loves her. It is never good to be a rebound. If he loves her and he's with you, don't try to marry him, until you know that his heart belongs to you. It won't happen next week. It take along time to get over a person that you love. Once you have become one with that person, it is a spiritual thing happening. This is why we hurt for so long or go for long periods and not see that person and think that we are over them and as soon as you see that person, your heart pump harder and you feel things you thought was gone or you might get anger all over again. This is why he should have taken 6 months to a year to gather himself and close some doors on that relationship.
2007-06-28 16:45:09 · answer #6 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my honest opinion, POSTPONE your wedding first.., it really take sometime to forget previous relationships...chances are you're heading a more serious problem in the future...wait till he overcome the past.., or ask him directly and tell him you need his honest answer about your union...just be ready for what he gonna say or opinion or rather his decision...I know this is difficult...but its the TRUTH that would sets you both FREE and conquest for Happiness in the future...It's very easy to be wed or get married but it's very hard to get an ANNULMENT...take it from me...I've been through that...
2007-06-27 22:20:04 · answer #7 · answered by adnagreve 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want to talk about it because he has something to hide. If he didn't have feelings for her, he would be telling you how much he loves you and showing you too. The fact that he doesn't talk to you about his feelings is that he doesn't want to admit that you are right. Don't marry him and let him go. Why would you want to be in any relationship with a man who is not 100% in love with you?
2007-06-21 04:33:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't worry about him seeing her one day, and going back to her. If you have that worry, maybe you shouldn't be marrying him. Trust is a major thing that you need to have in a marriage, and without it, your marriage will fail. Have you talked to him about how you feel? If not, maybe you should. If he refuses, I think you two need some major searching souls before you think about getting married.
2007-06-21 01:12:50 · answer #9 · answered by firegurljess21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he doesn't wanna talk about it because he knows you're just overreacting/being paranoid or just looking for reasons to avoid the wedding yourself.
If he hasn't done anything to cause suspicion, you should just get over yourself before your nutty paranoia pushes him further away.
2007-06-21 00:15:49 · answer #10 · answered by jzcurious` 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋