I had an agument with her about her drinking and she threw a bottle at me. I left but don't know what to do next. I feel really down but I don't want to go back and have to deal with her alcoholism. What should I do next?
2007-06-20 23:41:59 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't understand. If a man is an alcoholic and hits his wife then people talk about how she should leave yet in reverse it seems I am wrong to do so. Why?
2007-06-21 00:56:16 · update #1
Contact AA and talk to someone there about how to deal with a drunk. She is sick and needs help,
2007-06-20 23:45:41 · answer #1 · answered by james s 3 · 4⤊ 2⤋
If you love her you'll stick by her when she goes and gets help. You can't tell someone their drinking is wrong. Because to an alcoholic being sober is just wrong. Maybe you dont know why she is drinking have you asked her if theres a cause? Has her rate of drinking increased to the point where you dont feel safe living with her? You need her to get professional help. You have now began to resent her that much. Even if you dont get back together she will get either alcohol poisoning or pass out through too much drink maybe choke on her vomit and because you left home you werent there to help. Just make sure what youve decided to do is the right thing. Have you made her family aware of this and how you cannot cope? You need support right now it is a hard thing. It can tear people apart and Ive seen it happen before. Its not easy. Good luck
2007-06-20 23:51:56 · answer #2 · answered by a beautiful lie 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel and you took the only way out you could because any partner with a selfish habit like alcoholism, drugs, etx are a severe drain on the person trying to cope with it. In the end you could have been the one needing more help than she does. It is nothing to do with loving her or not, it is just self preservation and you have done the best thing by leaving her. If there are any children, then you must make sure that they are being looked after properly (if you are unable to have them with you). Find yourself a place to live (perhaps with a sympathetic friend) and get all your stuff that you value away from your wife. She is just as likely to destroy it if you leave it there. Have yourself some rest and recuperation. Get yourself on some antidepressants from your doctor which will help you through. I wish you the very best and hope that your life will improve soon.
2007-06-21 00:03:28 · answer #3 · answered by Normsgirll 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The asker is right, there is a lot of double standards being shown here. Nobody deserves to be treated like that whether they are a man or a woman and if he felt he was safer and better off emotionally away from his wife then he is entitled to walk away without being treated like a loser. A marriage license is not a license to treat your spouse like garbage.
I think the asker needs to take legal advice, there needs to be grounds for a divorce and alcoholism comes under the realm of unreasonable behaviour-but he may need to prove it in order to get a divorce on his terms.
2007-06-21 08:32:37 · answer #4 · answered by Very happily married. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
rebuild your life! your right you should have to deal with her alcoholism, shes an adult and knows what shes doing she needs to sort her life and is shes prepared to do that then its up to you to whether to sort your life out with her or not. You probably deserve better! Throwing stuff at you or what ever she did is an abusive behaviour and not acceptable so i agree with one of the people above take advantage of your new freedom. Find a new place to live it, even if its small but its a start, take things slowly, find a new hobby, don't jump into a relationship straight away, start meeting people even dating, if you have a job keep up with the good work if not find one you will gain money for your self and it helps to get things off your mind. Contact your mates, start visiting family more often cos at times like this your family are always there for support!
Other than that I wish you all the best and if you have time pamper yourself man!!
2007-06-21 00:14:25 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As a family arguments are there and how it start and what is the end of it ?
In your case you want to know that why she is drinking , what happened the change of character and study the circumstances then try to solve the problems. Then so many ways are there to solve the alcoholism . In Kerala we people are giving some aurvedic medicine to give the alcoholic addicted person mixed with food. Then after she or he can't take alcohol in future life. If you want the address please contact me then I can help you.
Regards..
2007-06-21 00:05:32 · answer #6 · answered by RAMESAN THAMPI P S 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off make sure you have a secure home. Then if you wanted to try and sort things out with your wife...lay down the law,if she loves and respects you she will try to realise that she needs help with her drinking.My Mother is an alcoholic and yes it is an illness but not one others should have to suffer. If it is clear that your wife cannot help her addiction then file for divorce and get on with your life.I know these things are never easy but alot of ppl with drink problems are self destructive and cant help it but you have to decide if that is the type of life you want for YOURSELF? good luck to you.x
2007-06-21 00:44:00 · answer #7 · answered by Kitty Glitter Paws 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't deserve to be treated that way. I would recommend doing an intervention. It is where you get everyone who cares about your wife together to let her know she needs help. If she agrees to go to treatment that is great, but if she doesn't you all need to be tough and let her hit rock bottom on her own. I would try getting your own apartment for awhile.If you need someone to talk to email me at lbvoltz23698@yahoo.com. I have an alcoholic father and sister. There are some great groups you can join to help you deal better. She is sick and it can make you sick living like that. Good luck
2007-06-20 23:50:44 · answer #8 · answered by cutie322434 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if u truely love her, then help her. Try talking 2 her and tell her how u feel and that u cant go on leaving like this. dont move back in with her coz then she will think that u will always come running back to her but dont just throw her to the dogs. Everything happens 4 a reason if its meant 2 b then its meant 2 b.
2007-06-20 23:52:35 · answer #9 · answered by PIPPY 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing .. but what you need to do is let her know how yyou feel and maybe ask her if she would go to counseling for her problem and tell her what your expectations are for both of your futures ... the problem will only get worse and intervention is the best way to go if she really cares about you she will do something about it and if you do it together you might become more close in your realtionship..
2007-06-21 00:56:32 · answer #10 · answered by indyink1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know it must be hard ....its not always the same when the roles are reversed
but let her know you will still be there for her but you cant handle her drinking anymore
if she stops then its all good and i really hope things work out that way for you
if she doesnt then you have to move on ....but you have to give her time and space to give up the bottle
sometimes you cant help them ...they have to be the one to admit they have a problem and do something about it
if you ever need to talk mail me
good luck
2007-06-21 04:41:17 · answer #11 · answered by cowgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋