Should I stop waiting?

Question

I'm in a bit of a dilemma. I'm turning 21 next month, and I'm still a virgin.

Despite my religious beliefs, I've remained abstinent primarily because I've been wanting to lose my virginity to someone I care about, and I only want to have sex to express my feelings towards that person. Without an emotional connection, I personally think sex is meaningless.

Anyway, I've still not met my significant other, and I share hardly anything in common with girls who I find attractive (or anyone for that matter).

21 years, is starting to feel a little late, and this whole abstinence thing is starting to feel unnatural. I'm starting to wonder; should I just give up? Start having casual sex and forget trying to establish an emotional connection with anyone?

Another thing, I've been told that I'm very attractive, and I notice I get checked out a lot when I go out. Does me being a virgin give me a serious disadvantage when trying to hook up?

Thanks in advance.

All your answers have been really kind so far, thanks ;). I really appreciate this.

Oh! By the way, I'm Catholic.

Answer 1

you ARE on the right track!


so what if you're 21 and a virgin.

i can't believe that there is a vocal male out there that sees that sex without emotion is meaningless.

please don't give that thought up.

you are right, and being a virgin IS NOT a disadvantage when trying to get a date.

do you really think girls want to date a guy who has been around? 21 is not late, look at it like this, you are one of the few 21 year olds that hasen't had to worry about s.t.d.'s or aids tests, or if you've gotten someone pregnant. isn't that a great feeling?



early twenties is still an awkward age for us young ppl, were really just discovering ourselves, that is why you feel you have nothing in common w/ anyone.


just don't give up, you will find someone that you truelly care about, just wait!

i say kudos to you on your abstinance!

Answer 2

Carl...u seem to have a situation very similar to what i did..check answers here elswhere for my question....the bottomline is i think you ought to wait for the right person....it will make it that much more special.....Sure you want that right away, we all do...but trust me you definitely dont wanna be regretting meaningless romps when you find that soulmate. I think you have plenty of time and oppurtunity....with you being such a sensitive and caring guy...really rare, so my dear best wishes and i sincerely hope you find that all elusive girl real soon

Answer 3

Hmm...what religion then? I really regret that I gave my virginity to the one I didnt love the most. It's better for you to wait and save up until you meet THE ONE and ONLY! =) You don't have to be worry about that. Only time will come.

For me, giving your virginity to the perfect one (u know what i mean right?) is really nice feelings, holy and great! Dont just give yourself to the one you are unsure! Coz u are just waisting your time and you will regret at the end.

When your "one and only" knows that you are still virigin, i think she'll be happy, but shock. hehe but as what I have said don't worry about that! =) SAVE IT TO THE ONE U CANT LIVE WITHOUT!! Good luck!

Answer 4

What's with losing your virginity at the age of 21 or even earlier? Does it make you a loser or anything?Would it embarrass you that much? If you have the thinking of doing it with the one you love and have feelings for, then stick to the principles..

Answer 5

Stick at it.
Once you give in you will meet the right guy and regret not waiting for him.
It's not that great sleeping with people you don't love, believe me the wait will be worthwhile soon.
Good on you for having such strong morals, more people should be like you then there wouldn't be so many diseases and unwanted pregnancies.

Answer 6

Congratulations!! You are a rare and wonderful man. Don't give up your moral character to succumb to what the so called "normal" is. Take your time. The right one will come along soon.

Answer 7

Carl stay the way you are until you meet the right girl. It may take time but it'll be worth it. If you can do this then you are a very strong man indeed. lol

Answer 8

Does having a sexually transmitted disease in exchange for experience sound good? I didn't think so. Just wait for the special girl. You and your body will know what to do. No need to put yourself in harms way.

Answer 9

dude just find a girlfriend that you actually have feelings for because you already kept your virginity long enough so dont give it up to some random girl especially if your virginity means alot to you. and girls find it sexy if your a virgin.

Answer 10

look im only 15 but if you fall for some one dont so them how you fel for sex. write a love letter,tell them,write a poem, and treat them with respect