My best friend of 15 years her 7 year old son and 9 month old baby all live with me in my home. She recieves help from the goverment to support her children as both fathers are deadbeats ones in prison and the other is on the run. She goes from one relationship to another only to discover she has landed another loser that brings her even more drama then the last. If they turn out to be semi decent then she runs the other way. She is a victim of child abuse and its no secret that she is attracted to those with similar traits as her father. She is a very inteligent beautiful woman and is a graduate with honors. She needs therapy but is just to damn stubborn and bull headed to get help. As a result of the child hood abuse its clear she has a split personality. The last boyfriend she had I got a gut feeling he would eventually cause problems for me so I forbid her to bring him to my home but she did anyways and sure enough problems followed. She now has a new b.f. and red flags going up.
2007-06-20 21:00:29 · 11 answers · asked by LLcoolsack 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It's your house -- if you don't want her "guests" in there, let her know that she can abide by the house rules or move out. Then, stick to your guns.
2007-06-20 21:03:20 · answer #1 · answered by la buena bruja 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a kind hearted person.. but she needs to understand that kindness is NOT weakness. If she is a graduate with honors, she has the mental capacity to understand the situation shes placed you in. I believe you know she needs to leave and the others are right.. YOUR HOUSE YOUR RULES, you are not her mother nor her therapist... perhaps you can let her know this while you tell her that she needs to either find a shelter, an apartment or her family to help raise her two children who are obviously the ones hurting the most. Pride be damned... she needs help sorting out the mess her life has become and taking on the responsibility for it. You ARE doing her a favor and more importantly helping her teach her children you cannot run from your problems.
Best of luck!! Stay strong !!!
2007-06-21 05:37:22 · answer #2 · answered by thebe_gl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you feel torn b/c one she is your best friend of many years and secondly, you care for her children. I think that even w/ the way she is acting towards you that at least you know her children are safe in your home. If you think for any reason that one her many boyfriends will harm the children, please report her. Maybe that'll wake her up. It hurts you to be the one to have to run her out of your house but she is not respecting you. It is your home and she should be very grateful that you took her in. You don't need strangers in your house all the time. You dont know these men or what they are about. She is not only endangering you,herself, but also the children.
2007-06-21 06:14:02 · answer #3 · answered by Erica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will be very hard to ask your friend to leave, but it seems like the only alternative if you want peace in your home. Does she have any relatives who can help her?
She seems unable or unwilling to follow your rules --and causes you distress because of it.
You can help her find another place to live --or try to find a state agency that has the resources to help.
If she is not willing to leave voluntarily, I think you will have to get a lawyer and formally "evict" her.
2007-06-21 07:28:58 · answer #4 · answered by Marilyn E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that if she can not respect your feelings about who can and can not come to your home, then she will need to find her another place to live. Tell her that the drama in her life is causing stress for you, and you can not take it any longer. Tell her that you would like to keep in touch, but it would be best for her to leave before a serious problem develops with your friendship.
If she does not understand, then she is not truly your friend.
2007-06-21 04:07:42 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow your very kind person to give up your privacy and help her and her two children. I c there are problems with her bringing men over which is totally fair after all its your house. Your rules.. You need to sit her down and tell her these are the house rules and you expect her to follow them if she breaks them you will have no choice but to evict her. As you say being kind doesnt' work as she's use to harsher men. So you put your foot down . YOu let her know she is welcome to stay but these are the rules. If she doesnt' like it she know's where the door is.
good luck
2007-06-21 04:25:48 · answer #6 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need the drama. Tell her what you've told us and then give her two weeks to find a new place to live. It might be the best thing you ever did for her, it could be a wake-up call for her to get the help she obviously needs.
2007-06-21 04:09:05 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend needs to abide by your house rules.Also needs help dealing with issues.
2007-06-21 04:16:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i fear that you have gone ;down a road .that has no end .people do not change .your friend has just ;taken the piss; out of you .just show her the door;as soon as you can .you have done more ;than anyone .could do .and do not fill guilty .
2007-06-21 04:11:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
move. get away from where you are and where everything is bad. that's the only therapy that works. just get away with her somehow
2007-06-21 04:04:33 · answer #10 · answered by hey its me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋