Am I over reacting about my boyfriend? I tried talking to him several times but it just doesn't seem to stick.

Question

He never calls when he says he would. He would change our plans together to hang out with his friends. sometimes I'd be ok with it but when it happens alot I do get upset. When I would want to have our alone time, he would invite his friends over (not like he doesn't spend enough time with them). And when I would ask him if he would come over after school or something he would say maybe but wouldn't give me an answer untill severalhours later even though he knew ahead of time that it was going to be a no. I find that rude and disrespectful cause I'm sitting there waiting for him while he could have given me the answer a while a go. Am I asking too much for him to tell me ahead of time that he can't hang out with me? or that I want him to call me when he says he would? I only see him once a wk, twice if I'm lucky. He's stand on this is We don't need to see eachother every sec of our lives! and Why is it such a big deal if I have my friends over? and I don't have to call you every 5 mins

Answer 1

All I have is some questions for you to think about hun:
.....How is this guy showing that he cares about you?...all I see from what you have said is how he does NOT care ....is he really worth it? YOU are worth so much more, why are you allowing yourself to be mistreated?

Answer 2

I was in the same situation as you when I was in highschool, which was like... a couple of months ago.
My boyfriend would do the same thing.
Go off with his friends, not call when he said he would, tell me I'm overreacting. I would talk to him about it over and over again.

So what I did was just let him have his fun, not call him, hung out with my friends to keep me occupied and showed him that I really didn't give a damn anymore.
Well I guess it worked because then he started calling me more often, taking me out more and putting me first before his friends. And that was that.
I don't know for you it may be different.
I think that guys like to keep it "tight" with their buddies and make it seem like they won't let a girl hold them back from missing out on fun with "the boys"

But overall, if he doesn't change when you've tried everything... I say Dump him. Seriously. You deserve more attention and appreciation than what he's giving you.

Answer 3

At the end of this big "scientific experiance" your having in life that many other women have gone through.
You will find that either he's hiding something.
You gotta think , what can he be hiding.?
Or "B" he's falling out of love and looking for excuses to avoid you?
You gotta think was it like this before?
Probably not.
If he does care and he's not cheating on you , you better have a serious talk with him.
Do you want to have children with a man who doesn't want to spend time with you or hides things ( like cheating or gambling you childrens milk money ) , AND he will always be like that and drive you to the end!! (?)
Or live with him for the rest of your life?
You better tell him what you expect out of him if he truly cares and loves you , and if he's truly sensative in his heart for you.
Put him on the spot to play the role of the right guy and real man for you that he once told you he is.
In the begining of this message I mentioned something about other women who have gone through this.
In the end many of them found out the truth about every aspect or conclusion of the situation.
And so far, like some women , you are one of the ones who yet does not know the truth and continues to wonder why your own spouse or significant other is not giving you the attention a women inlove deservs.
You do not know if he's just being selfish and inmature or something farther worse like is seeing someone else AND OR is simply just not wanting to see UUU anymore.
It's logical , when a man does not come home or to his girl's house in man hours , and in some cases even 1 day , 2 days , 3 , 4 , weeks perhaps. The question becomes elswhere related AND why related.
Those are 2 things you do not yet know.
The final thing is , do you belive his story that explains every single occurance? should you? Ask yourself are the truthful honest ods that every singe time he really wanted to see you or come home to you as many times as you wanted to see him come over or "COME HOME"? "it sure looks like it"! Is everything else important enough to miss the ocasion? more important? or is it an at all thing? meaning are you even any longer important to him at all? (!) How could that be?
Does it really show?
There for , this is all some good reasons why a healthy + clean + truthful relationship is one with good honest communication. No your not over reacting at all.
As a matter of fact your under-reacting.
Maybe start with the little things that mean the most ( since your not a PI of his mind and or life) Ask him to do somethings that are reasonable and meaningful such as to prove that he loves you; spend time with you; take you to a show; spend one on one , and things like that.
If he makes it sound like your asking him to pull his own teeth out , he's probably NOT FOR YOU. Even if he's not seing anybody , if he can't have enough and show enough and how much of his heart is for you , than maybe he's not the man that's stron and deep enough to be compatible.......4 UUU.
Your needs bring a guy , a guy does not bring those needs= he is not the guy your long soul search has been seeking.
Some girls don't mind a man who never wants to do things one on one or even show up at all I guess. But if so , should you pretend to be one of those girls just for him?
I thought he was the man! Tell him how what he's been doing makes you feel.
What he does to change will show you what he will do to show you that you are wrong , amd how strong he is for you to do it. That should be EASY FOR HIM IF I AM WRONG TOO.
If you are right , wich you don't want to be right , he will ratehr sit in the dentist chair and start pulling because he doesn't love OR he's real weak and doesn't deserv you.
By the way every single one of those "other gilrs is with some cheating looser , but she might not care only because she's that way too. DONT TAKE RISKS!
SAMI

Answer 4

The next question is why are you still waiting on him? You need to find someone else. This is a relationship it's the waiting game. And apparently you have all the wrong answers. The right one is, move on...there is a man out there for you that would never do these things. Love yourself enough to want to leave this mess.

Answer 5

This my fellow woman, is going nowhere at the moment. You must either tell him, "Hey we need some time alone together" and all that stuff, or it might actually be a sign that the relationship is over. I mean, if you both cant talk out the differences and come up with something that you both like, then you must seriously ask yourself "Is this what's best for me? Am I TRULY happy like this or do I deserve better?"

Answer 6

nicely, in step with probability in case you have asked him and he won't answer, in step with probability with the aid of fact that's some thing he's handling on my own do you realize of a private disaster he may well be having? (domicile, artwork, friends)?? i does no longer push, merely enable this is. adult adult males do no longer continually demonstrate thoughts and thoughts like us. whether you have been relatively close, he might merely be having a annoying time on the different hand, in step with probability he's battling desirous to be out of a realtionship - in all probability no longer you - yet him and his themes being traumatic is organic; keep chatting with friends and get help from others. do no longer push him too annoying, yet help him, whether the tip consequence isn't a courting yet a friendship sturdy success!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 7

You're still in school, so what that means is that he is still a boy. Not all boys are like that, but many are. Having a girlfriend is not as important to them as hanging with their mates. He will grow up someday, but right now, it's a lost cause. I suggest you move on and find a guy who is more in to you.

Answer 8

Maybe he is not sure if he really loves u but does not want to reveal,scare that he really loves u.

Or he is just like that,likes to hang out with friends,the more the merrier,girlfriend got can already no need always togather.But it does not mean he doesn't love u.Maybe it's what he is thinking.But relationship problem is up to yourself.No one can decides for u.

Answer 9

You are a convenience to him and he is using you. That is why he only sees you when it suits him! He is not mature enough to be in a relationship. He is also hiding something and taking it for granted you will be there when he wants!

MORE IMPORTANTLY, why are you waiting around for him? Go out and LIVE YOUR LIFE. Do not wait by the phone. YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THAT! As my friends Dad says, "What's the matter with you? You weren't born a siamese twin."

Answer 10

Doesn't sound like you will be able to change him to be a respectful person. At least you tried. Talk to his parents or pastor or priest. I would never do that to someone I cared about. The more people that know, the better people that know him can teach him respect.

Answer 11

I know people like that, it is annoying. That person is not a person of is word. It could be that hes just got too many things going on. If hes young than more so. I dont think id want to be with a person like that.