Why doesn't he want to go farther?

Question

I've liked this guy for almost a year now. In this year we've really gotten to know eachother and he's taken me out a couple of times, but it's been strictly friends. Whenever I try to talk to him about becoming more he just says he doesn't like me like that and moves on. The other night, though, he told me I was an 8.75 out of 10 on his scale...to me that's thinking more than just friends. I know from his best friend that he doesn't like any other girls and he's told me that as well.

Help! I don't understand why he doesn't want to go out with me! I know I can't make him, but when we are talking every night, going places together, and just in general flirting, why doesn't he like me?

Answer 1

Obviously you don't fit his ideal 10/10. If he was in love with you, he would say you are 100000/10, not 8.75/10. The score of 8.75 means you still got something wrong that he's just not into. Maybe he's too polite to tell you what it is that he can't see you as his perfect mate. Maybe it's something very rude, like you're race, or religion, or your personal ethics, or even your body type. It may be those taboo things to never ever be said in public, but the truth is, it exists! (in everybody). Honey, find a guy who ranks you off the scale of 10, not below it.

Answer 2

being attracted to someone physically doesn't always mean a romantic relationship happens. I know you guys are friends but sometimes a friendship can get in between a guy being romantic with a girl. Some guys are not ready for commitments, and the last person they want to make a one nighter are their female friends. It could also be that they type of friendship you share makes you feel to him like a sister. If he's honest about that 8.75, then it HAS to be something along those lines.

Because, honestly, if a heterosexual guy thinks a girl is a 8.75/10, and the girl also likes him, most of the time nature will run it's course.

Answer 3

Alright, so guys are suppose to make the first move, it's our job but that doesn't mean you're not allowed to try. But that could also make you look like a fool if you find out later he's gay. All you have to do is ask him if he's gay, it's easy.
He's either gay, scared as heck or he just doesn't know what to do next.
Someone actually said looks are not everything and she was right -- that's true about women but not for guys -- someone filled her head full of crap to make himself seem NOT-SO shallow. To most guys, looks are everything (the rest is a bonus). We're biologically wired this way and there's no way around it, unless the guy is desperate, hopeless............... or gay.

ASK HIM IF HE'S GAY

P.S. I for one do not act like a puppy when I'm crazy about a woman. I always become her friend first no matter how beautiful she is -- then if I like her, I'll invite her over and cook for her then throw in a movie. Yeah, most men act like puppies though.

Answer 4

It sounds like he really enjoys your company and values your friendship. However, you might want to listen to what he is saying...even if it is not what you want to hear.

If this has been going on for a year...then you may want to start hanging out with him less and try focusing your energy on meeting someone new who can reciprocate your feelings. If you continue to spend all of your time and energy on this guy...then you may find yourself a year down the line asking the same question...

I know its much easier said than done...but my advice would be to move on.... I am sure you will not have any problems finding someone new...especially if you are an 8.75 out of 10!!

Good luck ...I hope it all works out for you!

Answer 5

Just because he thinks that you are attractive does not mean that he is interested in you. Looks are not everything. There may be other things that he is looking for. He may even be questioning his sexuality right now. Don't try to push anyone into a relationship. You will always get hurt that way. Let it go. If it was meant to be, it will happen.

Answer 6

I guess he may just like you for your companionship as a friend and by going further, yes both of you might become closer for a period of time.But he might be afraid of breaking up with you, losing you. Or he may not want to put in any commitment yet. If you both have feelings with each other, then try out a relationship further than friendship.. Talk to him, find out his concerns.

Answer 7

Ok, first off, a year is probably not alot. Give him some more time, let him get really comfortable around you. and when you both are ready, HE WILL probably pop the question. Good Luck To You

~just a thought~

Answer 8

Yeah I'd go with "He's Gay" as my final answer.

But for the slight chance that he's just too stupid to figure it out. Try to get some kissing going on. like when you guys are together and the moment is appropriate lean in for the kiss. IF he goes for it you've got him, if he doesn't he's GAY, homo, as straight as a circle.

Don't worry though plenty of guys out there.

Answer 9

He may like you so much that he is scared of ruing a good friendship if things don't work out. he may be comfortable with you as a friend but doesn't know how to go about making more out of it. Why don't you try and get one of his male friends to talk to him and see what they get out of him.

Answer 10

im in the SAME situation, and its hard i know. just go with it, eventually i think these guys will realize that we arent gonna wait around forever for them to be "ready" for a relationship. just be happy with the way things are right now. maybe he just wants to see what else is out there a little bit more before he commits. let me know how it goes and good luck =]