What should I do?

Question

I have recently been asked by my in-laws to take my kids to Disney World for a week and half. My family and I have lived in Spain for the last 4 years and just recently returned to the states. The last time my in-laws saw my two eldest children was 2 years ago, when my daughter was 3 and my son was just 9 months old. My husband and I have two different opinions on this. I don't want my kids to go with them for several reasons and my husband sees nothing wrong. I understand that my in-laws are completely capable of taking care of my kids, but I'm a stay at home mom and has been since the birth of my daughter. I am a bit on the protective side, but nowadays I feel I have to be. My husband is making me feel like I'm a bad person for not wanting my in-laws to take them, but I also feel that for their first visit to Disney World...I would like to be there with them as well. I just want to know how others feel. Is it wrong for me to be like this? Please don't judge me, just opinons.

Answer 1

no judging here! But while I realize that you want to be there, it is physically impossible for you to be there for every first in their life. If you have problems with your in-laws, that's one thing, but I can kind of see your husband's point if you don't. As another stay at home mom, I really like to be there for my daughter, but the times I have let my parents take her have been the most refreshing for me as an individual and also for my marriage. I think it is a decision you and your husband will have to make. No one on here can make it for you because we don't know your specifics. But I do find that I personally have to be careful to not let myself make decisions for my daughter fo selfish reasons, but what is best for HER and possibly my marriage, depending on the situation. But trust me, I totally understand the protective drive, and I think that protectiveness is a GOOD parental trait. Just honestly question your protectiveness: is it for you or for them?

(although I do agree that a week and a half is kinda long. I am also not sure I would let them take your daughter because she is sooo little that she will probably spend more time missing her mommy than anything else. I think I would ask them to shorten it and take your son. But that is TOTALLY just me!)

Answer 2

From your question I am surmising that your children are 5 years and almost 3 years old now. Let the in-laws take them. They will hardly remember anything about this trip and it's really almost a waste to take children this young. They would have just as good of a time at the local amusement park. And in about 4 more years, then you can take them and it will be a trip of a lifetime for them and all their memories of Disney World will be wrapped around you being with them.

I can understand you anxiety about letting them go for 'so long' when you are so used to having them with you all the time. But if you entirely trust your in laws and know them to be very capable in this day and age, you should probably let them go because it sounds as if the anxiety is all coming from your end and is about being separated. Let them go and enjoy this break with your husband. Since he and you don't see eye to eye on this, make him wine you and dine you while the kids are gone. It will be good for your marriage and your relationship with your husband.
On the other hand, why can't you all go together. Let the inlaws take them for 2 or 3 days straight and you can still 'honeymoon with hubby' and the inlaws can 'have their freedom with the grandchildren. Everyone gets their way.

Answer 3

I think your reaction is perfectly normal. If they want to take them to Disney World why wouldn't you be allowed to. When I was younger it was like a family thing you should just simply bring up your feelings that you want to be there with your kids to see the joy and excitement that they are having I mean after all thats what being a parent is all about and since they plan on being there for a week and a half you don't have to go out to the park everyday if they want to spend time alone with their grandchildren i mean you guys could do a lot you and your husband could get a seperate room and your kids can stay with their grandparents and one day all of you can go have fun together and other days you and your husband can be a kids again and just enjoy each other's company without the kids I mean its Disney World there is fun for all ages

Answer 4

I would feel the exact same way. I think your in-laws should know how you feel about the situation and invite you to also go along. You are the mother, that has raised them from day 1 and have been staying home with them. It is very hard to let go. If you went with, you could hang out as a family or even spend a day on your own and let the in-laws take them for that day by themselves. You could get some YOU time. I'm sure it is well needed. That way, you are in the same area and its only 1 day that you would not be with them. At the end of the day, you have them back in your arms and that next day is a whole new day of adventure. I say go with them!!!

Answer 5

I absolutely would NOT let my in laws take my kids for a week and a half without me. What they need realize is this isn't a statement about THEM its a statement about your children. I think its quite selfish to think its about the in laws and not the kids.

Imagine yourself as a 3 year old. Your parents who protect and love you and are your shield are MAKING you go with two people you might remember a little but have no trust in and dont know. That's just mean and I would not do that to my kids.

As a parents its my job to protect my kids and always keep their best interest in mind. Theres no way I would allow this trip to happen. It would be better if the grandparents became a part of their lives, visiting quite a few times before trying to take the kids away from their comfort zone.


I see people talk about this alot. The grandparents dont think about any of this. it almost seems as if the grandparents think kids know they are linked to these people through their DNA.. young children dont know that.

Answer 6

I agree with you that if this is their first time, then, I would go along.
there will be plenty of other times that they can see the kids but to take them away from you ( as a break ), I don't agree.

For the kids to be ' handed ' over to them after not seeing them for a while and being at the age they are, those kids might think that they will not see you again.
Your son won't have a clue as to who these people are and even tho your daughter is 5 now, I just don't think taking them to a park as big as Disney is, is the right thing to do.

I would have my reservations as well. I know they probably think that it would give you time to rest, but, in reality, your not because you will do nothing but worry about your kids.

I would not agree to this unless they invite you to go along as well.

good luck

Answer 7

i can completely understand how u feel. im a stay at home mom myself and it is very hard to let anyone else watch yours for a few hours let alone over a week. i guess it really depends on what your worries are, like if you believe your children will be endangered around them. which might not be the case. if it not the case, just think of this, your in-law might want to take this chance to do something special for them, since they havent seen them in such along time. talk to your kids and see if there comfortable and to your husband about some guide lines for the trip. there is nothing wrong with what u feel, that just means your a great mother. we need more of u around. :)

Answer 8

I can kind of see where you are coming from, but if you think they will be safe, then I say let them go. This could also be great for you, I'm sure you could def use a little break. I am a stay at home mom of 6 and know I need a day off every now and them. Also trust me when I saw your kids are too young to really appreciate and even remember this trip. So it won't hurt to let them go. I went my first time when I was 5 and barely even remember any of it. You'd benefit more if you waited until they were older to take them. Then you will all enjoy the experience. Let them go now,and take them when they get older, they probably won't even realize its not their first time, since they will get to do more, and be on different rides. Or can you just go along with them??

Answer 9

Well, right or wrong, I think I'd feel like you. It terrifies me, in this day and age, for my kids to be out of my sight. I know they have to be at times, and I try not to be over protective, but this just isn't a safe world we live in anymore. Especially a crazy place like Disney World, so crowded and loud!! It's so easy for kids to get lost there.

I'd also want to be there on their first trip. I obviously don't know all the details, but is there a reason you and your husband, or just you, couldn't go too? Then there'd be three or four adults for the two kids, and you're not missing anything.

Answer 10

Your children are now 3 and 5 [or so], right? They're too young to enjoy DisneyWorld for any amount of time. It's a great thing that the in-laws want to take them, but ask them to put it off for a few years, and explain that you'll be going. I would not miss my childrens' first trip to the Magic Kingdom for anything. Putting it off a few years gives you time to save money to go, too. It makes no difference who wants to take them, it's too soon - most especially the younger child. Now, if your inlaws want to care for them at home for a weekend so you and your husband can have a fun weekend, that's a good thing. No to Disney for now; yes to in-laws giving you both time to yourselves.