I have this boyfriend and I have been dating him for a year and a half. I get really frustrated with him because he seems to blow off my feelings alot.
The main thing that he does that makes me feel disrespected is not doing what he says he will do.
Like.. he'll say I'll call you back in 10 mins but doesn't end up calling me back until 2 or 3 hours later. So I'm sitting there waiting for him and to me... I feel like I'm forgotten. This has happen numerous of times. and he feels as though he has not done anything wrong. Another thing is when I would ask him if he would come see me after work. He would tell me maybe but would never get back to me untill his been at home. And he wouldn't probably call till 2 hours later. I just feel like crap. Cause I don't feel that he respects me enough to do the simpliest things. It would have been nice for him to call me ahead of time and tell me so i'm not sitting there waitng. I don't know. I just want to know if I'm over reacting.
2007-06-20 17:52:42 · 11 answers · asked by vloss@sbcglobal.net 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Guys learn to be guys by imitating their dads and brothers. Obviously, this is not a "biggy" in your b/f's family.
No, you are not over reacting and, yes, it is disrespectful - at least in your universe. And, if this b/f is going to be acceptable in your universe, he's going to have to change his ways.
But, is that a realistic expectation? No. He's not going to change his basic programming for you or anyone else.
Either accept him the way he came from the factory, or dump him for someone that will meet your desired mode of behavior.
It's not like you're married to this guy. And, I hope that, given your very clear and concise description of his unacceptable behavior, you don't.
Aside: sounds to me like this guy is in the minor leagues. Trade up for someone in the majors. You deserve better.
2007-06-20 18:02:42 · answer #1 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok so I'm assuming you've already voiced your feelings to him. My advice is this- some women are willing to take a lot of crap from men and some just a little. Some women are willing to give their men a lot of leeway and make excuses for their absence and some want the guy to check in all the time. You have to decide if you're one of those women who is laid back about these kind of things, or if you're not.
Think about what is reasonable. I think it's reasonable to want to see your BF when you leave work. I also think it's reasonable to talk to him three times while at work. I think it is really unreasonable that he calls you back 2 hours later without a good explanation. It sounds like this guy either has trouble with his priorities or doesn't have you high on the list of them.
What an idiot. Too bad he can't understand the love of a good woman. Time to move onto someone who does.
2007-06-20 18:14:29 · answer #2 · answered by Alibaster:) 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you probably aren't over-reacting. The key line in your somewhat wandering indictment is:
"and he feels as though he has not done anything wrong."
However, this assumes that he does NOT have a good excuse--like he's a firefighter or a doctor or doing something else that repeatedly calls him away with practically no notice.
But frequently doing this kind of thing *without* a good excuse, and without apologizing, is treating you with total disrespect. You know that! So why aren't you insisting that he treat you with respect, under threat of breaking up with him? This behavior is NOT going to change if you marry or live together (assuming you don't already); it's just going to get worse.
You have to decide: Do you want a partner, or an owner?
2007-06-20 18:03:08 · answer #3 · answered by georgetslc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't over reacting. This is how guys behave, especially if the 2 of you are now in the comfotable stage. He probably doesn't think it is an issue, so you gotta tell him. Let him know how you feel. Because if you don't, he won't make any effort to change. But don;t expect him to change overnight. Try to compromise a little. If you can feel he is trying to change, give him a little reward. Can be something as simple as baking im cookies etc. Will definitely make him feel good as well.
2007-06-20 18:01:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
why do you like this guy? the guy you're able to love is your self via fact in case you probably did you're able to depart this guy immeadietly. he sounds absolutley poisonous, on your life and your daughter's. i do no longer care how "staggering" he's the various time. he's clearly jealous, immature, hotheaded and actually disrespectful! he would not have faith you or pay attention to you or seem to even care approximately your thoughts. i do no longer understand you yet you look like a stable person, you will could be to submit with this guy...in simple terms pass away him and don't look back. it would not sound like something good is gonna come out of this courting interior the long-term and there's a guy available who will extremely appreciate you and set a good occasion of what a real guy and a real courting could be on your daughter. you deserve lots greater suitable and it would not sound like your boyfriend cares approximately what you deserve.
2016-10-08 22:33:57 · answer #5 · answered by jeremie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HECK UR NOT! This is what happened to me and my recent ex. He never called me and never really called back. It is disrespectful. I think he just wants to control your feelings, that what my ex did to me. Thankfully, its over now and I dont have to go through all that now.
If you want to fix it, try talking to him and telling him how you feel, if that doesnt work and he hasnt had the decency to try and change for you, then forget him! You can do so much better!
2007-06-20 17:57:03 · answer #6 · answered by MemyselfandI 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be one of these people that when they say I'll call you back in teminnutes, but it is only a figure of speech. When he say I call you back in ten minutes, go out and by doing that, when he questions why you went out, just tell that he never does. Don't let him think that you are hanging off his every word, just let him know that you are an independent person.
2007-06-20 18:12:20 · answer #7 · answered by malroymck 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't think you are overreacting at all. it seems as he is out for him self and you feelings seem very little to him. i am sure you have tried to talk to him about it before but if you really care for him try again. sit him down just you and him and pour your heart out. tell him top to bottom exactally what's on your mind and don't be afraid to ask him to be quiet and listen to you till your done.
2007-06-20 17:57:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, my family said they would disown me for getting tattoos and piercings, but after they saw my 9 piercings and full sleeves, they couldn't help but to overlook it by the royalty check I brought them, which I immediately put in MY bank account... Yeah, I literally went "laughing all the way to the bank". Screw him! (not literally). They'll get over it after they understand you will STILL make something of yourself. It's in our generations blood to upstage our parents.
2007-06-20 17:58:22 · answer #9 · answered by youdontneedtoknowme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look woman, put on a skirt. men have alot of things to do. we have very ordered minds and we often place things that need to be done ahead of people. you seem alittle self absorbed. men are just as complex humans are you women are. we just aren't focused on the same things. give him some slack.
2007-06-20 17:59:16 · answer #10 · answered by dan m 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋