is this acceptable ettiquette for wedding receptions?

Question

We are planning our wedding on a fixed budget this will be my second marriage his first. and he thinks that its alright to ask family members to bring a dish to pass for the reception I am not sure this is my second wedding but my first reception with fod and cake and the whole 9 yards HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

I owned a wedding chapel, catering and wedding photography business for ten years. It is PERFECTLY okay for you to have family food, either exclusively, or in conjunction with a caterer. Some places will not allow it, but some will, and of course if you are having the reception at your home it is totally OK.
It is YOUR day, don't let the SNOBS rule. Do as you please, and as is always the case, "If it pleases you, it ought to tickle the sh*it out of everyone else".

Many of our "ethnic" clients would have nothing other than food cooked and brought in by their own families. It was always wonderful, and made the cooks so happy!! (usually the Moms and Grandmas)

Answer 2

Instead of looking at this situation from a budget perspective, look at it as being a way to bring two families together.

As a guest, I would be delighted to share a dish and recipe (for the new couple) for the celebration. This could be the start of a recipe collection for the new couple (and maybe a new tradition). I organized a recipe collection for a friend of mine and it was a great hit.

I would give people choices as to what to bring. For example, appetizer, cold salads, main dishes and desserts. I would supply things like buns and a vegetable tray.

Any issues I see would arise from logistics. For example, how far are family members travelling?

To cut down on costs, I'm not sure what your plans are for the bar but at my cousin's wedding, each seat had 2 bar tickets. Any additional drinks were bought. Alcohol can be a big cost but is easily managed.

I have also attended weddings where some people were invited to the ceremony, dinner, and reception. In one instance, I was invited only to the ceremony and reception and was not offended in the least. The dinner was for family only. At the reception, sandwiches were served late in the evening. No need for fancy hors d'oeuvres - they hit the spot after all that dancing.

Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 3

There's no rule that says a wedding reception has to be a sit down dinner with a big party. You could have something far less fussy and far less expensive. A modest wine and finger-food affair would do the trick. If your guests don't like that, then they are not your friends.

Answer 4

I can't imagine this being acceptable for most. I would look into ways to cut your spending to make room in the budget for food or postpone your wedding until you are able to save more money for the occasion. It would be well worth the wait to avoid offending anyone.

Worst case scenerio, you could ask very, very close family and a couple friends to help you do some cooking in lieu of any gifts. I'm cooking this weekend for a friend in this predicament, and I'm sure she appreciates it more than she would an additional toaster.

Answer 5

I agree that it's not in "good taste." You could discuss with those close to you and they might offer to cook. Of course, there's no rule of etiquette that says you have to serve food outside of some sort of toasting beverage and cake. So have a dessert reception! Just make sure to have it outside of meal time and pass the word. Congrats on your engagement!

Answer 6

Um. No. I've never heard of a wedding reception where guests bring a dish. Have you considered eloping?

Answer 7

It's not good wedding etiquette, but if you are having a small informal wedding with only close family and friends I think it would be okay

Answer 8

Sounds unusual, might also turn people off, What ever happens hope all works out well, good luck