I plan on divorce. I talked to his 1st SG who did not help and they advise me to talk to JAG. the proof i have is the calls made on the cell phone record, and the bank statement showing huge charges on the same day/night. but the charges are discreet. they exceed $300.00 so should be credible enough. Is this enough evidence and does anyone have some advise?
2007-06-20 16:59:05 · 30 answers · asked by kim g 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
my husband also bought with his credit card a flight ticket for an unknown girl. I have the print out from priceline. should this help as I imagine it would?
2007-06-20 17:00:36 · update #1
thanks for everyones answers. I do have the girls name on the ticket (won't list here of course). and I have proof he joined adult friend finder with his credit card (have the receipt). there are many little things I have collected.
2007-06-20 17:14:29 · update #2
Do not waste your time on "getting back at him". Life is too short, finding out more ugly information, and the acts of trying to make his life miserable, will only make your own life unhappy.
Just divorce him, and be happy. It sounds like he is the type that will never figure out the grass is not greener, and will have a hard time finding true happiness.
There is a lot to be said about taking the high road.
2007-06-20 17:07:28 · answer #1 · answered by Dina W 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
First off I am sorry...as a military officer for 11 yrs and a divorcee myself, I never want to see a marriage fail or a member of the amred forces to behave in an irresponsible way. The 1st Shirt cannot legally do anything because based on what you asked in your question there is no crime against the UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice) that he has committed. Phone records only show intent to commit adultery, not the actual act. If you are unhappy and he has lost your trust then you need to seek a means to rectify your issue. By the way the JAG cannot help you. Since no crime has been committed by the Active Duty member and if you are a civillian then they can only give you a list of local lawyers in the area. i am sorry but it looks like you will have to go and get you a lawyer.
2007-06-24 07:33:50 · answer #2 · answered by Micah N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too was married to a sex addict who went to strip clubs and escort services. You are right to get a divorce. This behavior is addictive and gets worse, not better. Often it results in a spouse being killed or committing suicide. After several months and separations, I realized I had no more chance to change his behavior then to make a gay man go straight. It is not about you so do not let it destroy your self esteem. It will if you let it. I read many books on the subject because I was going to fix him. The more I read, the more I realized this is almost impossible to stop. Then I read "Codependent No More" and decided I was not going to try and live with this behavior or fix him anymore. And I realized I had become as sick and obsessed as he was by his addiction.
I hope you don't have children yet as mine have been traumatized most of their life by his continuing and worsening behavior. Often addicts become sexual abusers. It has been 16 years since I divorced him but I am not entirely over the damage that was done to my psyche and self esteem. I have never been ever to fully trust another man. Get out now and don't look back. Find a support group. You will need it. Good luck. Be strong. Pray.
2007-06-20 17:30:31 · answer #3 · answered by lickedysplit 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Even though comoting udultry is punishble under the UCMJ in the military. You have to have hard evidence as in pictures, love letters to ring forth to the commander even then he might not get punished becuase it is up to the commander to punish a soldier when he has done wrong. I would call the nerest base and get the LEgal Assistance office they won't beable to build a client lawyer relationship over the phone but you can ask questions that are factual not if or what if questions. Good Luck.
2007-06-24 14:37:22 · answer #4 · answered by priscilla h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If what you say is true, your relationship has serious problems demonstrated by his seeking an outside source for sex and your interest in getting back at him.
As others have said, it's time for you to move on.
First though, you need to "secure" what you have now. Legally seperate, initiate divorce proceedings, prepare to move to a place of your own, and seek employment to allow you and any children to support yourselves.
You will likely get a portion of his paycheck for as long as he is in. If he is charged with misconduct and convicted by court martial or otherwise administratively reduced, the money you recieve will go down. If it's bad enough and he's discharged, he's likely to be without income for a while and things like medical coverage may not be included. I would plan on needing to support yourself...
I would also make sure you have documentation for all of your shared outstanding debts and assets and expect them to be part of any divorce case.
Finally, I suggest you arrange to talk to a professional counselor to help you transition to single like and get your life in order to support yourself. If you haven't done so already, you may want to include college in your future plans and avoid becoming dependent on another man unless/until you are able to support yourself.
2007-06-20 18:48:42 · answer #5 · answered by Deathbunny 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Also in the past couple of years, military leaders made it a UCMJ violation to engage in any sex trade. You can not only hang him out to dry on with a henious divorce, but also provide evidence that can force either administrative action or court martial, if you want to be vindictive.
2007-06-20 18:01:27 · answer #6 · answered by c7a7f 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you shouldn't have talked to his 1st SGT , there is nothing he can do. As a military spouse, you should have went the civilian route and got a lawyer. He is in the Army so you won't get a lot of spousal support so best of luck continuing you career and moving on.
2007-06-21 02:24:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i say moore power to you for trying to ditch him the best option for you to do is hire a Privet detective on hime for pictures and proof plus get a second opinion form an outsied lawer not jag jag will try to help whoever is in the service
2007-06-21 08:53:17 · answer #8 · answered by Honey Badger Doesnt give a Shat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a print out for the ticket, you should have access to the name of the person who the ticket was for.
I'm assuming you and your husband are logistically separated?
You could always hire a private investigator, or just cut your losses and move on.
2007-06-20 17:05:43 · answer #9 · answered by Jennifer 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Evidence for what? To confront your husband? To help you in your divorce preceeding?
What you said alone is not enough for anything legal. He can explain it away for anything. You need to track the money to the company or a person. One can spend 300 dollars on many things.
Also, airline ticket.... he can also explain that way easily. Helping someone by buying a ticket? What if he says, he got cash payment for it?
You really need to settle this with your husband first.
2007-06-20 17:05:22 · answer #10 · answered by tkquestion 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋