Parents who spank: If you spank your children at the same time, what age order should you do it in?

Question

I know I've asked a lot of questions about spanking, but, like I've said, I want to spank the exact right way. Sometimes my daughters will get in trouble together and I will have to spank them together. That means one gets spanked first and another has to watch, then it's her turn. Should I spank the older ones last, so they get a feeling like they've acted below their age or should I spank them first, so the younger one dreads the future, making the punishment stick more? Any opinions (please, only parents or people who believe in spanking).

Answer 1

First of all, good for you. It is very refreshing to see someone else who is spanking their children smartly. I hate to see children spanked with wild abandon, because it makes everyone who spanks look like child abusers. On the other hand, I also hate to see parents NOT spank their children when they need it because eventually their little monsters will be in public and I will have to deal with them. Thank you for being a conscientious parent. =)

Now to your question. My dad would spank us separately, one being spanked and the other had to wait in the hall. I always thought that was the most fair way to do it, because I never compared my spanking to my sister's and vice versa. Also, spanking children in front of other children can give them a reason to be more dramatic than necissary [playing it to the audience, so to speak] and end up frieghtening the other child which, I'm sure you agree, is not the point of spanking.

Answer 2

There is NO "exact right way" to spank a child or a teen.

If YOU feel YOU **must** spank, then either punish each one in similar way to the others (allowing for age, circumstances, etc.) OR else punish each according to the individual's own personality, etc.

The BEST way to spank is as seldom as possible, with as few smacks as possible, and as "easy" as possible.

Perhaps one "good" way is, when the child is about three and misbehaves, raise the leg of the shorts and give three smacks of the hand on the upper thigh or side of the butt. NOT hard whacks (even if it is just with the hand); rather, just three sharp smacks. That way the kid will know that you can and will spank. Maybe about 10 to 12 years later, when the kid decides "too old to be spanked", then maybe across the knee/lap for about six smacks of your hand on the seat of their trousers/jeans. That way they will KNOW you do not figure they are "too old". So, if you can count, that would be about two spankings per child.

In your case ... spak in which order? Well, if you are old-fashioned, I'd expect Mom would spank first (ladies before men) and then dad. But to be politically correct, I suppose the elder parent should spank first, then the younger. Whichever, it is the child that gets the pain.

Answer 3

The literature out there on spanking recommend it for ages 2-5, and not beyond that.
It should be done lovingly, not out of anger, and only when the child is defiant (ex. not for accidents - spilled milk, etc.)

I recommend a book "Dare to Discipline" by Dr. James Dobson.

Answer 4

I grab whichever is closest. People wonder why the world is going to hell, but won't discipline their own kids. They leave it up to the school and "time out." Time out as far as I'm concerned is giving the kid a break so he can rest up for the next thing he wants to do wrong. I don't beat my kids, but I tell them that I will spank them in front of anyone if they act up. I don't care if I'm in the middle of the grocery store. Too bad. I can also guarantee you that when my kids are about to run into traffic and I say STOP, they stop. I'll also tell you that when one of my kids is about to throw something that might injure someone else or break something, when I say STOP, they stop. When one of my twins is about to reach for something hot, when I say STOP, they stop. When they get spanked, they also get an explanation as to why. And they're also told that if they do it again, they're going to get another spanking. Now let's get something straight - a spanking to me is grabbing their arm and swatting them a few times on the butt - hard enough to sting. It's not grabbing a wooden spoon or flyswatter or any other object, pulling down their pants and leaving bruises. That is child abuse. But done correctly, spanking is effective. We have to get parenting back into the hands of parents and out of the hands of books like "Dr. Spock." Our parents knew what they were doing by giving us a solid spanking - we're so worried about our kids "self-esteem" that we forget we're breeding brats. Spank away, momma.

Answer 5

Why do people not follow directions? NOBODY ASKED IF SPANKING IS WRONG. Take your holier than thou attitudes elsewhere. its people like the 'dontspankpolice' who have kids that are rude and disrespectful.

ANYWHO. i would probably spank the older one first b/c she should know better. But keep in mind the older the kids get the less effective spanking is... so when they are older you have to do stuff like taking away privileges, etc...

Answer 6

That is hard to say because if you punish from oldest to youngest then they will think you are being easier on the youngest. and same of the reverse. My concept is to punish in order of involvement. Who throw the last blow, got the last comment, egged it on, ect. This way they are punished according to guilt and you are less likely to feel you are making a difference. Trust me with five kids I know they will try every angle to guilt you about punishment.

Answer 7

wel i'm pretty young 15 and remebering my past when my mom spanked me it hurt but you keep fighting if their not breaking any stuff just let them fight till the had enough they will gte bored eventually thats what happen to me and my sis but the things that might scare them just look at them very fearsful and sream ur lons out trust me they will get scared sometimes spanking is not the solution trust i know

Answer 8

DEAR MISS

YOU TAKE EACH ONE SEPARATELY TO YOUR BED

ROOM AND SPANK THEM ACROSS YOUR LAP WITH

OPEN HAND OK DO NOT MAKE EACH ONE WATCH THE

OTHER OK JUST TELL THEM THAT THEY BOTH ARE

GETTING A SPANKING BY MOMMY AND THAT IS THAT

OK AND LET THEM EVERY TIME THEY DO SOME THING

BAD THAT THEY WILL GET A SPANKING ON THERE

BOTTOMS ASAP AND YOU CAN SPANK FROM AGES (2-19) OK

TAKE CARE

Answer 9

seriously i dont get why people think spanking is wrong i got spanked and i turned out fine. my hubby got spanked and he is fine too.

anyways spank them equally. whatever fits thier crime.

Answer 10

if you do hat it should be when thier about 2 or 3