what's a good way 4 a single dad to handle a disobedient 5 year old girl without damaging our relationship?

Answer 1

OK pal. nothing will ruin the relationship. She's 5 and she will get over it. If you want your kid to grow up right a good spanking will never hurt anybody, beatings were normal back in the day and kids had a crap load more respect.

If your a fairy and against hitting, them I recommend taking everything that she likes and removing it from her life. Doll houses, video games, etc... until she starts behaving properly.

Trust me, time outs and corner time will only make things worse, they do nothing to the kid and your girl will end up on the pole. Every father wants to keep their daughter off the pole, then you know you have succeeded as a father.

Be strict, they need a father, not a friend, they will have enough friends.

Please do not believe any of this psychiatric crap. It doesn't work with kids, it never has and never will. Its just a way for people to make money. You can't reason with a kid, that part of their brain isn't used until they are 25 if not older. Telling a kid what they are doing is "rude" doesn't mean anything to them, hell, it doesn't mean anything to me.

real discipline is what made this country great.

Most of these people who want to talk with their 5 year olds are absolute idiots and their kids will be idiots as well. Let the kid know what they did was wrong in a way they wont forget, make sure you get your point across.

This new way of dealing with kids is what is ruining our future. I see the kids wearing all black, with black nail polish and lipstick and thats the males. I would send to a foreign country and see how they deal with people like that.

Dont be a puts, deal with it right.

The more answers I read on this question the more I fear for the country. This sucks that parents want to treat their kids like they are their boss. screw that

Answer 2

There are reasons why some animals eat their young! Don't worry! There are things you can do which will help.

Don't be afraid of your daughter or her disobedience. Take a step back and analyze the situation first. Is she stressed or tired? Is she hungry or bored? Are your expectations too high? If so, she'll act out until the cause is fixed.

If all those things are good try talking to her at a time when you have time and she is calm. If she understands how you want her to behave (and why) it goes a long way toward correcting the problem now heading off problems later.

Sure there are time outs, spanking, removing objects etc. But it sounds like you want a good relationship. Talking is the first big step.

Taking a parenting class can give you lots of good insights. Your pediatrician or pastor should be able to give you a referral.

My daughters are now in their late teens and one is in college. Although they have both had their moments they are both good kids. One is in college and the other is in the top 10 in her HS class. We have a great relationship with and they bring their friends to me (and to my husband) when they have problems.

Learning to talk with them and taking a parenting class that taught me realistic expectations made all the difference. I bet you'll wind up doing a great job too!

Answer 3

Consistency and clear explanation is the key to dealing with this age group. Have a strict routine, make sure she is getting plenty of healthy food and exercise and isn't eating junk food and watching tv all day. Tell her what you expect her behavior to be and what the punishment will be if she misbehaves and then do it.

I watched a 5yr have a tantrum after being allowed one toy but not both she wanted. Mom did a great job and said "ok then, you will not get anything!" And the child threw herself on the ground and began screaming and crying. Instead of sticking to her guns and telling the child to get up and come along, or simply picking her up and putting her in the car, the woman gave in and allowed her a toy. She was doing a good job up until the kid pushed the envelope and then she folded. All she told that kid was "throw yourself on the floor and scream, and you'll get whatever you want".

Be gentle with your daughter, not punitive but realize that she is looking to you to tell her what to do. Good luck, parenting is not for the faint of heart.

Answer 4

I want you to consider the long term effects spanking will do. Your daughter if physically punished will not only resent/fear you, it will lower her self esteem/confidence, teaches her to lie. Spanking is very damaging to a child, she looks to you for protection guidance and unconditional love, how will she ever feel safe or secure in life if her own father hurts her, she will feel betrayed and later have trouble trusting others. It is also well known that by hitting a child (it doesn't matter how hard as it is a psychological matter) you are exsolving her of her wrong doing and no longer feels a need to fix the problem later. By you taking away all her responsibility to correct the problem she will only be learning how to lie in order to get away with it and other things later.

My mother spanked me I am 25 now and I am still working on my bad habit of compulsive lying; I taught myself this to avoid punishment at all costs. I also use to hit my younger brother a lot and other children who were not acting right (this of course set the tone at school for how popular I was). I am also co-dependent and judge myself too harshly and after I was too old to spank, everything bad I did seem to build up making me very depressed and by the time I was 16 I had o start hurting my self just to relieve my own guilt. I am still working on stopping the urge to self punish, it isn't easy and I feel this has caused me to have a major set back in my emotional development. I also haven't spoken to my mom in 4 years I don't know how long it will be before I can forgive her.

Some people will say "I got spanked and I turned out fine", but how do they know they could have been better than fine. Others are not necessarily aware of the effects this has had on them and spank because that’s what happened to them and they don’t really know what’s wrong with it. Anyone can say that they are fine and maybe they are happy enough, but a lot of people don't turn out fine too, is that a risk you are willing to take? Sure it is a temporarily way to stop bad behavior but it will make things much harder later.

Children are people just like you and me and if treated as such will be healthy, strong, abled adults. The first few answers are right talking/explaining to children will work and teaches natural consequences. Show her respect and she will return it, disrespect her by hurting her she will make your life a lot more difficult especially when she is a teenager, not to mention how more difficult her will also be.

The Mrs. is exactly right!

Answer 5

well-theres no right way, you just have to try different ways to see what works best.every child is different so why not try a few of these things. try time out. when and everytime she disobeys, make her stand in the corner,nose in the corner, dont let her turn around, for say 5 minutes.be firm. dont give in. be patient. and remember,dont give in. your the parent. you have to be firm so that she will learn that these are the rules. dont give in to feeling guilty. this is not going to hurt her and it will not hurt yalls realtionship,though it may seem like it at the moment. try it for at least a good week or two, how ever long it takes to see if this might work. be consistant. so often times,we parents tend to give in or ignore the matter because we have better things to do at the moment or whatever the situation is. i was a single parent for a good 10 years.it is very tough. but dont give up. keep trying different things. it may not seem like it has any affect any whatsoever when you need it the most but put a little faith in your child and yourself as well and even tough it might take years to see, as long as you keep trying for the best, the end results will be worth all the time it took.heres something else you can try. try to praise your child for anything they do good or right. that always helps. another,be careful how you react to their bad behavior. getting too upset and acting out in a uncalm way just makes the situation worse. something else you can try is taking away say a favorite toy or a little play time when they misbehave. rewarding them with say an ice cream or a piece of candy when done right .but not too much. or giving back that toy or give an extra play time when done right just enough to teach them what is or isnt expected or else they tend to get spoilded to getting what they want instead and only doing it because they get a reward. let them know the rules,what is expected of them,the consquencing of misbehaving. keep it simple and stick to it. and remember, let them know your proud of them when they do something right. it is very hard to be a single parent. we have to be both mom and dad and it seems no matter how hard we try, that other part is still missing but please dont give up. the number one thing is that you keep trying for your childs sake.and trust in the lord. that was mostly the only thing that got me through all them years.ask the lord to help you one day at a time and he will.even when it doesnt feel like it. be strong. may god bless you and keep you

Answer 6

You need to talk to her. Something is upsetting her and making her act this way. I would look into a discipline program, often used by teachers and preschools called Love and Logic. Its a very good program and can easily be used with parents as well. It focuses on positive and the behavior. So if she is being rude you don't say "You are rude" you say "Arguing with me is rude"...blame the behavior, not the child. The child also has choices. If there is a fight about what to wear, you pick three things and tell her to choose one of the things to wear. A long with these choices are behavior choices. If she "chooses" to dump all the dogs food on the floor then you say "I am sorry you have made a poor choice to dump the dog food on the floor. You now need to pick it up" (her picking it up is the logical part). Time out really isn't necessary if she will pick it up and learn that it is worse to pick it all up than it is fun to dump it out.

Whatever you do, don't raise your voice. I have a wonderful father, in fact I think he was about as perfect as a father can get. But one memory I have of him is of him yelling at me. That crushed me and I think it disabled me from openly talking to him about things for a while.

Remember, you respect her and she will respect you.

Good luck.

Answer 7

I have a 2 yr old and a 4yr old so know what its like to make decisions that you upset your kids , but deep down you know to move out is for the best, not just for you but everyone, even your parents who sound amazing to have taken you both back into their home, as they need there space aswell, and your daughter, who although sees her grandma as a mother figure wont always be about to count on her to be there. Theres also the possibilty that you decide its time for you to move on with your life relationship wise, im not saying you should, but it might, although you think your daughter is your number one priority, and rightly so, you need to have a life aswell. Good luck in your decision, what ever it is, neither one is wrong!

Answer 8

Its not easy stuff doing it on your own. You have to play good cop and bad cop. your daughter is only 5 and people may think they dont know much but they know more than they let on. If it means you take all toys away do it. If you have to take more away then do that too. When she starts being good then give something back. she will soon work out whats going to happen every time she plays up. Hope it helps good luck

Answer 9

Call SuperNany or Nanny 911. Just Kidding. Try not to raise your voice! Get down to her level and try talking in a calm voice if you are upset with her. Timeouts are good idea just try to remember she is 5 and not to make them to long. Just long enough to get your point across. Recognize good behavior as much as you do bad behavior. Reward her for good things like not whining at the store, or going to bed on time. Simple things make all the difference. Hope this helps.

Answer 10

Figure out why she's not obeying. What is it about the rule that she doesn't understand or that she doesn't agree with? Start over at the beginning and teach her that lesson again, until she understands it. Try using different ways to get your point across to her - sticker charts, role playing, natural consequences - figure out 'how' she learns, then teach her 'why' you want her to do what you want her to do.

Once she understands the 'why' behind you rules and comes to a point where she agrees with the 'why', following the rules will come naturally to her.