my son moved in w/ me & my husband july 2006. He said he wanted to see what it was liked to have parents full time, i was divorced when he was 4 yrs. old, and then again remarried when he was 10 yrs.old.
I told him he could live w/ me & his step dad for 6 months until he got on his feet, since he moved into a new state.
He agreed.
Now, he is trying to tell me , all his friends live w/their parents until their 25, and they always take their kids w/them, movies, vacation, out to eat, u name it.
He said, i was a bad mother , cuz his grandma told him so, if i wanted to go away for the weekend w/ my husband, to get a break from work & kids.....
his grandma said, any woman that would leave their kids & dont spend all their time w/them them, is no good and god will take care of her.
now take it, i have not had a vacation in 9 years, and my husband & i, have been working & around kids since july 2006, w/no break alls we wanted to do, was spend a weekend away for our quality time togethey
2007-06-20 14:56:45 · 10 answers · asked by gowestgurl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
There's certainly nothing wrong with a couple taking a bit of time to enjoy each other. As long as children aren't constantly being pawned off onto someone else I don't see the problem.
Seems to me like your son is trying to use guilt in order to manipulate you. I have no issue with adult children living with their parents as long as it's healthy. Meaning they pay room and board, all parties involved are ok with the living situation, and everyone contributes and respects everyone's boundries. However, if your son is simply mooching then I suggest you make it clear to him that he has a month to find other living arrangements....no joke. If you don't act now then he will end up living in your basement at 40.
2007-06-20 16:24:01 · answer #1 · answered by Lwood 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's 22, not 12, stop holding his hand, and playing games. Parents aren't suppose to be their child's best friend. We are suppose to teach them responsibility, accountability and consequences to their actions to prepare them for the real world so that they can become civilized members of society. You know this mom. Your son is manipulating you out of guilt and so far...he's doing a really good job. In today's culture over 50% of marriages end in divorce. Your son is not alone in growing up without two parents in the house. Yet, you are treating him as though "he's special". Unless he has some severe learning disabilities, his butt needs to get a job, enroll in school or get out and the sooner you do this, the better the situation will be. Because mark my words, 18 turned into 22, and 22 is turning into 25, do you really want 25 to be thirty and thirty to be..."Well, I might as well stay to take care of you and dad"?
Oh, and tell grandma to stick a sock in it. Years ago, there wasn't a need for two incomes, available daycare was unheard of and it was of simple times. Things are a little different now, kids have adapted and everyone has survived.
2007-06-20 15:31:16 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where was he before 7/06? And, does he have a job? Is he paying anything toward the expenses that he incurs? Do you have other children at home with you? As far as Grandma, yup, I agree with the other person who said the same-send him back to Grandma and then she can let him live off of her. P.S. 22, not exactly a kid anymore...Give him 30, 60 or 90 day notice. And don't feel accept any unearned guilt.
2007-06-20 15:14:47 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs a reality check.Either send him back to his grandmothers or make him pay board for his upkeep.It may happen that some adult children live at home and this is happening more and more in my country for a variety of reasons.They are made to pay for their upkeep His grandmother has poisoned his mind of bad thoughts about his upbringing.Everyone needs a break. The grandmother has old fashioned values.
2007-06-20 15:14:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are very selfish. Kids need to live at home to get ahead. Our children lived at home until they had a good education and money in the bank. They are very successful financial and also have beautiful families. Just because you turn eighteen or twenty, you still are not able to support yourself. I know there are a few exceptions, but not many.
Now, my husband and I sit back and say it was so worth it.
So, forget about you you you. Also, we still love doing things with the kids. Try enjoying your son, you might be surprised.
2007-06-20 15:14:44 · answer #5 · answered by Cal Kid 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Is he working, is he paying you board, ? this child you had, is using you and your husband, and it's time he moved out, His grandmother poisoned his mind and because of that he has no respect for you. He is not a little child anymore and he needs a reality check. And a one way ticket back to grandma.
2007-06-20 15:07:39 · answer #6 · answered by fuzzykitty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the granny is (sorry to say this) crazy! its none of her business. maybe you didn't take time to be with your kid when he was younger. but i'm sure he doesn't want to spend time with you all the time ......he wants free food and a roof over his head. c'mon hes 22! put your foot down and say "if you don't get a job in 2 weeks your out! the best way to prepare your kids is to give them a taste about life and make them responsible.
oh and if the granny loves him so much THEN SHE SHOULD TAKE HIM WITH HER! .....HA!
2007-06-20 15:32:33 · answer #7 · answered by seximexi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you don't give a rat's *** what his friend's parents do. This is your house and you set the rules. Either he obeys your rules or he can get his *** out and go live with his friends.
2007-06-20 16:02:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is suckering you. Set a drop dead date and stick to it.
2007-06-20 18:55:01 · answer #9 · answered by Plrs X45 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sry to say but you could be a bad mother.
2007-06-20 15:04:38 · answer #10 · answered by late4ever 3 · 0⤊ 4⤋